Discussions By Symptom: Depression

42 years old and 42 years of having epilepsy. should have died when i had meningitis.

Posted In: Depression 1 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • October 5, 2014
  • 09:53 PM

title says it all and i often feel like grinding the vault of my mothers and finding her 9mm. Thats the way i feel now and many other times. Then tomorrow morning comes when i make my ill mother some coffee while my hard working step dad is already at work. Live together. Brain operation about 5 years ago (left temporal lobectomy) . Less seizures. in fact lifelong record now (2 years and 10moths) used to get anything from 1 to 3 per month and in my young school days 3 seizures a day would not be unusual. Nobody wanted to be friends and i believe THAT has led to my "fighting spirit" = perhaps something like = o well i dont need friends and wont look out for them. Prevention is better than cure. Lost my father at age 6 and what he achieved in his life is mind boggling to me when i hear about it as the years go by. Had problems acceptin my step dad but now i do. Lets face it. 42 year old guy like me still living with folks is unusual but looking after my mother helps. What when shes dead? THEN! i will feel meaningless and ill see what happens. 44 old sister also living here makes us one big "happy?" family. just spoke out what was on my mind at this moment and many other moments, time after time after time. Taking depression meds but the "fighting spirit" remains there. Does that make sense? does anyone else feel the same RIGHT NOW?

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