Discussions By Condition: Sexual conditions

No sex is killing my marriage...

Posted In: Sexual conditions 34 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • May 12, 2008
  • 03:49 PM

I don't know how to say any of this, so I'm just going to come right out with it...

I don't particularly care for sex and my husband, like most men, is the complete opposite. I have issues with intimacy due to several bad experiences which have caused me to not really care about it all that much. Coupled with some health issues which makes sex somewhat painful and uncomfortable, you could say it is generally the last thing on my mind.

Hubby had been doing okay with it, but I've started to notice that he pretty much just ignores me all the time. When I kiss him, he doesn't kiss back and when I tell him I love him he mumbles something which can never be understood. This behavior is only making my issues worse b/c I don't trust his reactions anymore. I've told him this, but he makes out like it is my problem and mine alone, which I don't agree with. We're married, my issues are his and his mine.

Well this last fight we had he told me he was ignoring me b/c we hadn't had sex since last June. I don't keep track, but it hurts that he does b/c it feels like he's rubbing my nose it like a dog in it's own poo.

Now I'm being told that it's my issue, fix it myself! In the meantime he ignores me and makes me feel like dirt and I do a LOT for this man, probably more than any other wife would do!

But it's like just because we're not having sex, he treats me awful and blames it on me because if I would have sex with him when HE wants it, we wouldn't be fighting about it. I can't get him to understand that I am not hooked to a light switch! He says that I am not normal, but again, he doesn't realize he is only making my problems worse!

I just really need some advice b/c I'm getting to the point where I am ready to walk b/c I don't think I deserve to be treated this way. If he loved me he would want to help me with this issue, not use it to hurt me more.

What do I do?

I've been to doctors, but they have no answers as to why I am the way I am, but I'm tired of my own husband making me feel like an alien. I was always an upbeat person, but now I'm constantly crabby, on edge, and even starting to get depressed, which is not like me AT ALL!

Any advice?

I don't want to end my marriage because of sex but my husband makes me feel like it's the ONLY thing that matters, as he's made it more than clear his sexual appetite is more important than my feelings. I'm so lost, scared, and confused but talking to him only gets more hurtful words and I can't take it anymore! Please help?!

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