Discussions By Condition: Sexual conditions

HIV?AIDS am i worrying too much, please help

Posted In: Sexual conditions 18 Replies
  • Posted By: Verystupidyoungman
  • March 13, 2007
  • 10:33 PM

Hi, I thought i would post here as i am very worried. Almost 2 yrs ago i had unprotected sex with a *********e when i was in Thailand. At the time i was going through a very bad period of my life as a very close family member was dying, possibly the worst period of my life so far and i was drunk and just did'nt care at the time, no point in saying it just happened. Ever since i have been really worried, although my whole life i have always worried about things as its my nature. About a month after i came home i was at work and remember feeling queezy, so i went home and i did have a fever and was vomiting quite a bit, although i had just eaten some greesy rolls and bacon and chips, as soon as i ate them thats when i really started to feel bad. I have had colds since, nothing major that i had to go to doctors about or anything, and i do live in an extremely cold country. i do get sweat patches under my arms a fair bit. And sometimes was waking in the morning with a lot of sweat although my room is small and the window always closed and the heater at full blast.

The girl i had sex with worked in someones bar that i knew and he had said everything would be fine. But now im always checking myself, if a spot appears i worry. Its hard to describe but on my arms my skin has white coming through even though i have tanned skin their not flaky just white coloured skin against the tanned of my other skin, my doctor says its a change of climate or anything as i travel a bit. Around my cheekbones i have little white spots, although i have had them before i even had this sex as i have had bad skin when i was young.

Recently i just came back from a 4 month trip, during my trip i had red blotches briefly appeared on my arms and stomach, but i had been severly bitten by mosquitos and they went away after a few days.

I havent ever really lost weight, if anything i have put weight on, i checked my weight regurarly and it roughly stayed the same. I eat like a horse and go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week and play 5's once or twice a week. Currently i have been unemployed for about 2 years and find when i come back from the gym although i think i should be feeling energized i feel like going to bed as i have nothing really to do until the next day when i may go to the gym again. I also noticed under my eye lid many months ago a little white spot, its never went away but then again i never checked my eyelids until after that, so dont know if its always been there, again my doctor said it could be a little cyst.

At the top of my kneck, at the back when i move my head it feels slightly sore but only when i stretch my kneck do i feel it or when im smoking.

I do have little white spots on my tongue from time to time but must admit until i read about symptoms of HIV/AIDS i never brushed my teeth and had very bad gums for a long time before i went away, but when i brush my teeth and use proper mouthwash i have no spots there really. For a while i was getting pains behind my eyes, i am supposed to wear glasses but never have. Around my cheekbones i have dry skin from time to time, as i write this now it is dry and feels hot, not feverish just hot, ii do keep my home warm and pick away at it a lot. i am fairly young and never realised you could contact STD from oral sex and whilst i was away i did have woman perform oral sex on me.

I feel like an idiot now as my family need the support during a difficult time and i feel so selfish for not protecting myself. I know the only real way to know is to have a test, i understand that, but i also know my nature and i dont know if i could handle the wait, and also my family have enough to deal with without the worry of wondering if i ave done something extremely stupid.

People i have spoken to have said that after all this time, and the amount of excerise and eating i do(cheeky buggers lol) that i should stop worrying and get on with my life, I have suffered from depression since i lost a close relative and also the doctor feels i have bad anxiety and im a natural worrier. When i was recently away travelling i was trekking and almost always doing something so never felt so tired or worried. Could anyone tell me their opinions on this, am i worrying too much, should i get on with my life.

I must stress i have never had sexual intercourse since this episode as the way i look at things if im so woried about it i would'nt do it to anyone else. And i also know the only sure way of knowing is a test which someday i will hopefully have the courage to take.

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