Discussions By Condition: Medical Stories

My story, help? Depression, Physical Pain

Posted In: Medical Stories 4 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • March 15, 2007
  • 09:28 AM

I have dealt with depression and anxiety for years. I was doing very well until the pregrancy with my second child. Everything came back full force and then some. Since his birth I have had severe fatigue, pain in my joints: hands, feet, elbows, etc. I can hardly walk at times. I cannot live life the way I need to. My kids are not neglected, but their life is not as full as it could be. I have been tested for Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis (which my mother has severely) and many other things. My rheumatologist told me he thought I had Fibromyalgia. I am not pleased with this diagnosis. I know that stress has a huge role in my physical well-being, but my life is filled with the utmost of stress right now. Job losses, having to sell our house because we cannot pay our mortgage, you name it. Of coarse, it could be worse. I am so tired of letting my family down by not being able to participate in regular activities. I try to take on new endeavors, but often give up. I do not want to be a failure. I want to be brave and stong, but the fatigue, severe headaches and physical pain wear me out. In August of 2006 I tried to take my life and was hospitalized for several weeks. My children, although small, were without their primary caretaker for weeks. The tests are inconclusive, I have little will power and my energy comes and goes. I was so agitated in bed tonight that I had to get out and do something. I know that everything is going to come back to my stress. . .how do I move past it and enjoy my life? I pray to God to help learn this skill, to be stronger. I have lost friendships due to my negativity and I guess you could say self-pity. I have already lost one marriage. I must hold on to this one. My children are amazing blessings and I do not want to mess them up! Please help with any advice you could give me! Blessing to all.]:(

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