Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

adderall "sober" after abusing for four years.

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 1 Replies
  • Posted By: paigeeliz
  • September 18, 2009
  • 01:31 PM

I seriously abused adderall almost the entire time I was in college. I rarely took a day off and would often take 80 milligrams (instant release) a day...which is double what I was prescribed. Towards the end I was having anxiety (tingles in my hands and arms, twitchy eyelids, numb lips, heavy chest, feeling as if I couldn't get enough air into my lungs) daily and was so wired that the meds were having a SEVERELY negative effect on my school work and life all together. I tried to quit several times and could not do it. I would convince myself it was okay and they were actually good for me. My entire life revolved around the little orange pills. They were all I could think about. I was in a dark place to say the least.

I graduated and moved back home at the end of august and I finished my bottle about a week later. I can't describe the feeling in my stomach as I ate the last half of the pill in my bottle. I was relieved (as I knew my doctor was not going to be refilling my prescription after I finished my college degree) but I was mostly anxiety ridden with the thought that I wouldn't be able to control my cravings. It is now 22 days later and i'm beginning to feel like my old self again. I still haven't gone out socially or seen any of my friends. I come home from work every day and stay there until I have to leave for work the next morning. Most nights, the orange pills invade my dreams and I wake up thinking of them. My cravings haven't subsided much.. and I am wondering when they will! I can't wait for the day that I don't think of them. Nor can I wait for the day that I have the urge to go out and see my friends.. the day that I become the happy, outgoing person I always was.

I quit cold turkey. For those out there who think it is impossible and they must weane themselves off the drug, that's not always necessary. I was positive that I couldn't do it but I did and am very proud of myself.

I'm wondering if there is an herbal supplement of some kind that will help my mood and mentally put me in a better place. Also, does anyone know when these cravings will become less intense??


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