Discussions By Condition: Female sexual conditions

HELP ME PLEASE!!!vaginismus

Posted In: Female sexual conditions 10 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • January 17, 2007
  • 06:37 PM

I Am 20 Years Old A Virgin Still Because I Cant Have Sex. I Get Scared And Nervous And Just Cant Go Through With It I Was Married For 10 Months It Ended In A Divorce Cuz Of This I Am So Hopeless And I Need Someones Advice And Positive Feedback...thanks

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10 Replies:

  • I can only say bc I watch this sex show with Sue Johenson. That sometimes people can't allow them seleves to have sex is not only a biological, physical but mental.I had an issue simiular to that and went and saw someone and now I am better. I hope that helps.Plus, even though you loved that person any one that can't stay with you when you are sick and doesn't help you, your better off.Good luck to you sweety.:)
    lizzi9983 35 Replies
    • January 17, 2007
    • 07:02 PM
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  • lizzi9983 thank you for replying to me thread!!! i think u are absolutely right when you say that it is mental. i am going to get help and deal with this problem...i just hope that it is soon because i have a new boyfriend and he knows my problem and he is super understanding but i feel like one day he is going to get tired of waiting and go for someone else!!! cuz its happen before and i dont think i would be able to live with that feeling of worthlessness and sadness!!! thanks again for your positive feedback, god bless you!
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • January 17, 2007
    • 07:14 PM
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  • Oh you are so welcome. If you have cable watch sunday night sex show with Sue Joehensen. on the Oxygen channel. if you need anything else, you go right ahead and email me lizzi9983@yahoo.comI conceder myself a person who has a good sex life but had to go and see a therpist bc I went to Catholic School all my life and had issues of sin and sex. Again you are so welcome. Nice talking with you.
    lizzi9983 35 Replies
    • January 17, 2007
    • 07:28 PM
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  • Oh you are so welcome. If you have cable watch sunday night sex show with Sue Joehensen. on the Oxygen channel. if you need anything else, you go right ahead and email me lizzi9983@yahoo.comI conceder myself a person who has a good sex life but had to go and see a therpist bc I went to Catholic School all my life and had issues of sin and sex. Again you are so welcome. Nice talking with you. lizzie one more problem, again i thank you so much for your help and advice, my mom called me today and she really gets in my business she thinks i have lost my virginity so she said we should go tomorrow to schedule a gyno appt. and said yeah ok...(trying to change the subject...)she does not understand where i am coming from she tells my whole family everything even though i tell her not to i know shes not doing it on purpose but it doesnt help when my aunt, grandma, etc.. are telling dont be scared it will only hurt a little 12 years olds are doing it, you should feel embarassed of yourself... it really takes a toll on my self esteem... what should i do??? thanks again so much. oh, i know wat show u talking sue johannsen she is funny i am going to watch more now.... p.s. ive added you on my yahoo contacts... you seem like such an angel listening to my drama and you dont know how much i appreciate wat u are doing... i also signed up to this forum,too!
    clary17 1 Replies
    • January 17, 2007
    • 08:06 PM
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  • You are welcome. I have a family very similar, they promise one thing and then you hear from your grandma after you totaly forgot about telling your mom and embarssed.What I do, I finally told them that if you slipped (because they don't do it on purpose..*wink well mine at least*) on accident I am not being respected and I will be forced to limit convosations with you, bc when grandma or Aunt Jenny talk to me about that I know they are trying to help me and I love them for it,but it is actually makeing it worse.Reminding me of how easy it is supposed to be and that 12yr.are doing it makes me feel like something is wrong with me, which there isn't. Pressure does not help me relax. It is like a fishbowel.I lied about being a non-virgin bc I wanted the pressure off of me.Your self-esteem should get better knowing that you are tring to get help, you are above the influence and just having sex with any one(look at the postive).You are a good daughter,neice,and grandaughter bc you won't care if you hurt there feelings after they hurt yours even on accident. Not to mention you are giving a sick person(me) something to do and someone to talk to... which is making me very happy.So you bring happiness to strangers.Keep that in mind.Not to mention you are not the only person that has this problem, bc then who would call the TV show? Plus, 12 yrs. having sex isn't good either. and doesnt happen alot TV makes it out to be so but reality is it's not.This is not drama...trust me..lol... I don't mind really.Like I said you need anything you let me know.I will try to help. Plus, your boyfriend loves you, as he sounds that he does, then he will help you. If you think about it as you are waiting for marriage alot of people will be impressed.The first one you loved is in the past and your BF is your future and seeing a OBGYN is a good idea maybe they can give you a Dr. that would be good for you to see.talk to you later sweety.-liz-
    lizzi9983 35 Replies
    • January 17, 2007
    • 08:52 PM
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  • I have the same problem, but i'm working through it. Vaginismus.com is a great website to look at for this. They have a pretty good treatment kit. It is almost always curable. Hope everything works out for you!
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • January 24, 2007
    • 09:39 PM
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  • Yes...I've been suffering for 12 years now with this. Maybe longer. My husband of 12 yrs. has been so patient. I can't believe how lucky I am. We have not been able to have penetration at all but we do other things. I am desperate to get over this though because I'm aging and pretty soon will be too old to have a child. I'm at a really low point about it right now.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • Don't tell your mother any of your personal business any more unless you want all of the family to know. It's none of her business. Do not go to doctors appointments with her. Tell her you'll go later. Keep your mother out of your personal/private life as much as possible. The less she knows about your love/sex/health life, the happier you'll be. She is probably the reason you are having these problems. It's okay to be a virgin; that's all you need to know. You are still really young. If and when it feels right to have sex, you'll have it. Give yourself a break. I doubt if you'll die a virgin. Your ex was probably a ***k and was not your true mate. Just go out to have fun and make friends. Don't have the end results "bed"...just friendships...those will be the building blocks of your future happiness...not the intimate details of your life to your controlling mum.
    Monsterlove 2,921 Replies Flag this Response
  • Hey What part about sex are you concerned about? I can tell you from personal experience that seeing a sex counsellor does help a lot - going as an individual and as a couple.
    lifespark 2 Replies Flag this Response
  • Don't tell your mother any of your personal business any more unless you want all of the family to know. It's none of her business. Do not go to doctors appointments with her. Tell her you'll go later. Keep your mother out of your personal/private life as much as possible. The less she knows about your love/sex/health life, the happier you'll be. She is probably the reason you are having these problems. It's okay to be a virgin; that's all you need to know. You are still really young. If and when it feels right to have sex, you'll have it. Give yourself a break. I doubt if you'll die a virgin. Your ex was probably a ***k and was not your true mate. Just go out to have fun and make friends. Don't have the end results "bed"...just friendships...those will be the building blocks of your future happiness...not the intimate details of your life to your controlling mum.I agree that if your worried you can't trust your Mom about blabbing or making comments and not be understanding that it would not be a good idea to attend an appointment. However, you do need to get yourself into a GYN and look at the following websites: www.vaginismus.com, or Google: Vaginismus Awareness Network. Also check out 20/20's website. About a week or two ago they did a special on this. Physical Therapy may be an option for you. In regards to the man your with. I was in your same situation, when getting married. I'm still married and still dealing with the same problem. I've recently started Physical Therapy and have been making a lot of progress. Good luck.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • August 19, 2009
    • 00:55 PM
    • 0
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