I'm 22 and have OCD since i was very young, about 12 or 13. I've recently been able to get through and overcome a lot of my phobias which is great. However when i first started university i used some marajuana and had a terrible experience (my OCD was quite bad at the time). I had been smoking it for a while and it had been ok, just normal feeling spaced out and then getting the munchies, but then i began to get paranoid. I kept imagining scenarios and then wondering if i they were real or not even though id just imagined them. Then was the worst time. The last time i smoked i suddenly felt completely out of control. Like i wasnt in control of my own body and that i might go off and do anything that i didnt want to do. I was so afraid. And ever since then ive had some serious paranoia problems and problems with my identity have surfaced a lot. Like lots of feelings of not really knowing who i am anymore, or having a sense of myself or how i come across to other people. A lot of the time i dont have a clue whats wrong with me i just feel that there is something wrong with the way my mind works. Im worried that im gonna keep going through life feeling so disconnected and confused and wonder if i will ever have any closure. I also get anxious a lot of the time, and feel like i dont know how to live my own life anymore. Its really odd and worrying
Basically i dont know what has happened to me, but im wondering if what has happened to me is the most likely the ongoing product of mixing drugs and OCD?