My name is Cortney. I think I might be depressed. I'm only fifteen, so maybe its just "all in my head"? I was in some therapy when I was little; First grade to sixth (My mom thought I may have been depressed because of the sudden separation between her and my father). I haven't gone through much, but at the end of sixth grade my step-mother died in my home, and that is when i had started cutting. Don't ask me why I actually did it, because I dont even know myself but it was honestly addicting. I cut without my parents noticing until the 9th grade. My mother still doesn't know, but I lashed out at my dad one day and in the process, told him about my secret. I have not cut for a year and a half, and I thought I was doing good. Recently (August) I had an appendectomy, which went fine, but also developed Anemia. I cannot seem to feel hungry anymore, I am forced to eat at least once at home as I do not eat at school. I have trouble sleeping at night (I sleep during school) and have frequent anxiety attacks. I have "random" moods, from happy to sad to very angry. School is a big part of my life, as I have straight A's and am top of my class, even though I do take short naps when I am through with my work. I cannot pay attention in class most of the time (I dont even know how I'm get my A's) and I keep to myself sometimes. My mother used to pressure me into getting these grades, but its more of me doing that to myself. I seem to get sick more than I should. I've had CAT scans and MRI's but they do not find anything wrong besides my blood low in iron.
So, am I depressed? And if I am, is it serious enough to where I should bother my parents about it? I dont feel like I should bother them about something that would possibly go away.
Note: Oh, I almost forgot. When I stopped cutting, I hid my hunting knife. I found it today. It gave me a really big rush, like I should cut immediately to make up for lost time. I haven't cut just yet, but I liked the old feeling, the adrenaline. That was my wake up call; that's why I came here.