I'm wondering if any of you can help me. This autumn I have started my studies in the university again and come to think there must be something wrong with me. What triggered me to think that again yesterday was gathering with other students to a friend's house and once again not being able to follow the conversation and take part in it. I think there is not much wrong with my hearing, I can hear people talk but just can't make out what they are saying. This is a real problem in my social life as people seem to think that I'm just not interested and often start to resent me. One on one conversations are ideal for me but even then, if I can't see the person's mouth for example, I have to ask them to repeat themselves a lot. On lectures it's not as bad since only one person is doing the talking. In practical classes, however, I need to do things myself before I learn anything, just listening someone explain is not enough.
I found info on CAPD online and that, I think, really sounds like me. I think it could be because of that condition, too, that I have a really hard time making any kind of speeches. I can't seem to be able to remember what I was supposed to say or concentrate for that long. Even in normal conversational situations I have difficulty formulating my points. Just can't get the words in my mind. That's why I prefer to write my ideas down. But there's another problem with writing: I'm slow. In exams, for instance, I'm always the last one to leave the class room despite the four hours you are given. And yet, the grades I get are no better than of those who only stayed an hour. I don't like to write letters or email either because of this, witch makes people think I don't want to be in touch. It doesn't help that I don't like to make phone calls either. I do it sometimes but I have to put extra effort to it.
All of this makes me sound like not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but instead I did rather well in school, though probably didn't reach my full potential, and at elementary level I was way ahead of my peers resulting in boredom during the classes. I took a MENSA IQ test two years ago since I knew I was smart but in many situations felt really stupid and the result was 142 witch of course is high and suggests I should be fine. Despite that score, I often lose track of a plot while watching a film, can't seem to be able to understand concepts behind things, can't remember recent events like what I did last weekend unless reminded and forget things all the time.
My executive functions are poor, too. I am unbelievably disorganized starting from my messy and dirty accomodation. I can't keep track of time, I'm always late, rarely return any assignments in time, really struggling to start anything or make decisions. I was also diagnosed with depression several years ago and I'm still on the medication. However, I do feel that depression is rather the symptom than the reason in this.
Do you think that based on this I could have auditory processing disorder, for example, or some other condition? It would be great to get some opinions especially from those who have CAPD. This has been bugging me many years now and in many ways is making my life miserable.
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