Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

Is this a medical condition or just daily stress build up

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 6 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • February 11, 2008
  • 05:20 AM

Please help me determine if I need medical attention or not. I am under a lot of daily stress and seem to get annoyed and aggrevated at almost everything that my 13 yr old daughter says and does. I find myself so bothered over the littlest things that I almost can't stand being around her because all we do it fight and bicker over everything. My husband handles her great and has way more patience than I do. On the other hand I baby my 5 year old son and I tell myself that I do this because I don't plan on having more children and this is how I deal with him growing up to fast.

I DO NOT want to fight with my daughter on a daily basis. I want to figure out how to stop being mean and get along with her so she doesn't hate me, if she doesn't already. I love her and don't mean to be like this but I am ******n her because I want her to grow up to be a well educated successful adult.

I sometimes think I need an antidepressant to feel better so I can handle everything life throws at me. I think I may need some professional help but am looking for suggestions to avoid taking medication.

Thank you in advance for any helpful advice.

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6 Replies:

  • It's possible that you may be depressed. It could be other things, too.Depression is diagnosed when you have 5 or more of the following for at least 2 weeks:(1) Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day as evidenced by feeling sad or empty or appearing tearful to others(2) Decreased pleasure in activities most of the day, neraly every day(3) significant weight loss or gain without meaning to; or change in appetite(4) Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day(5) Psychomotor retardation or agitation (being slowed down or restless) nearly every day(6) Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day(7) Feelings of worthlessness or guilt nearly every day(8) Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness nearly every day(9) recurrent thoughts of death or suicideSo, if you have 5/9 of these for at least two weeks, you may be depressed.Sometimes, though, other things can cause these same symptoms, but are not from a depression (not serotonin or dopamine- mediated). For years, I was told I was suffering from depression, because I had an encephalopathy that left me very fatigued, mentally slowed, sad because I was ill, not able to do any of my regular activities, and with poor concentration- because my brain was inflamed. It also flipped my sleep wake cycle.Yet it never responded to antidepressants but did drastically improve on steroids. So, be careful and get other things ruled out first. My illness is called Hashimoto's Encephalopathy, a rare complication of autoimmune thyroiditis. It does not sound like you have HE, but it might be a good idea to rule out a thyroiditis, which is very common in women and can cause depression. There are other medical conditions that can cause depression too.It's important to get screened for depression since it's treatable. So, if you think you have some of the other symptoms on the list, it might be helpful to see a doctor.Also, there's a book out there called "Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes in You and Your Kids" that may (or may not) be helpful. My friend swears by it ("finally a book that works!"). I don't have kids, though, so I should not comment on it. I think you can read reviews on Amazon to see if you think it might help.I hope you feel better soon.Best Wishes.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • February 11, 2008
    • 07:04 AM
    • 0
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  • sounds like you need family counseling...I'm not being rude, but I think it would help your family. it's not normal to baby a 5 year old. You aren't doing him any favors. Find someone good who can help you work through your past issues and give you some tools for handling a teen and parenting skills for raising the 5 year old..
    Monsterlove 2,921 Replies
    • February 11, 2008
    • 07:42 AM
    • 0
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  • I remember this stage with my mother very well. It could just be that your daughter is beginning her journey into teenage-hood. Maybe your husband has more tolerance because he doesn't spend as much time with her as you do. Teenagers (girls especially) can be unbearable at times. (I was for sure.) Now my mom is my best friend. If you don't feel depressed I would not shoot for the meds. Most people are over-medicated as it is.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • February 16, 2008
    • 03:15 AM
    • 0
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  • When I was thirteen, if my mom said it was white, I said it was black. Magically when I became a senior, all that stopped. Give your kid some distance and try to remain calm. My sisters and I were 13, 16 and 19 one year. I'm surprised she didn't leave home. Have you been to the doc lately? A physical might pinpoint something. How's your blood sugar? Have that checked also, with a CBC and thyroid panel. Also a chem-20.
    rad-skw 1,605 Replies
    • February 16, 2008
    • 00:51 PM
    • 0
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  • We can’t get along with them all, including your daughter. Just a personality clash and if you are not careful this stress you are creating over it could lead to a nervous breakdown or mental condition. I know you have heard not all mothers and daughters get along. My advice is to make sure that you and your husband see eye to eye on how to raise her so that she is successful or knows that she has the opportunity to be successful. If you and your husband agree on this very foundation then let the other stuff go. She can still be successful without becoming your best friend. She should however respect you but at her age she will come off rebellious towards you because of your opposing personalities / differences. If you are providing most of the parenting although your husband has a good relationship with your daughter, then you need lay some ground rules. Keep a tight schedule and do not deviate from it. The way kids are growing up, it seems like they are adults. My neice (15) has a blackberry to keep her parents informed with her schedule. She knows that if she is planning to do something before it may possibly get approved she must provide the parents number and address or contact info. to where she is going, etc. My neice is involved in three after school sports and guitar lessons but she still fiinds the time to hang out at her friends and the mall. Yes, kids today are super breeds. Don't get so bogged down in your dreams of a mother-daughter relationship; it seems like your son is waiting with open arms. The mother-son relationship would be more healthier for you. I also agree with rad-skw and mjb I can go on with advice but, not sure how this appeals to you so far. Let us know!:rolleyes:
    Undeleted1 28 Replies
    • February 16, 2008
    • 06:42 PM
    • 0
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  • Thank you all for your responses. I do think its wanting that closeness that's just not there right ow-hopefully one day we will achieve that. Your advice was well appreciated! It helps me to believe I am not crazy, just a stressed out mama!! Thank you!!
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
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