I am going to write a lot, because I've been posting about this over dozens of boards for a decade now with no clear answers.
I would appreciate it if somebody please reads my entire post and gives me advice because this problem is ruining my marriage, career and academic record.
I just recently got insurance and will go get a blood test taken.
Here is my problem: I am 23, but I am always tired. I have been for the past 10 years at least. At first I didn't think much of it, because I was a straight A student and high school and early college didn't require much thinking to get through.
Later on I started becoming very interested in math and spent hours upon hours reading books non-stop. I did it by binge drinking soda. Caffeine does nothing for me, but sugar, especially fructose - let alone high fructose corn syrup - helped me retain what I read, and keep my focus. I excelled at my hobbies (mathematical ones, like programming).
One day I just decided to quit soda cold turkey along with caffeine. From that day on, I had no soda, coffee, tea, etc. Not on occasion, not ever. After about a week I noticed how exhausted and unable to focus I had become.
These symptoms became increasingly worse.. now here's the thing. I don't know if the symptoms getting worse caused me to avoid leaving my house and sleeping more, or if those things are the reason I became tired. I don't remember which came first.
For the past 3-4 years, i've been way too tired to keep up in school and at my job. I sit in class but I cannot keep up. my attention wanders off every 3-4 seconds (literally) and I cannot sit still. I am constantly yawning and get so bored that I feel like screaming and leaving the class.
Class ends and I remember nothing that the professor has said. This forces me to dissolve sugar under my tongue continously and snort caffeine so I can go through the entire chapter(s) before exams. This is how I maintain my GPA now.....
My job is meaningless and doesn't require a brain. The fact that I am always drowsey makes me VERY irritated. This is ruining my family life..
I tried different diets. I tried veganism, raw veganism, high carb - low carb and high fat - low carb. The one that gives me the most energy is high fat diet, but I cannot maintain that diet with my lifestyle because it requires that I eat no carbs, which is hard when I'm always in and out of a class or my job.
My schedule isn't THAT busy as to make me this tired. I have people my age doing double what I do and they're alwyas energetic.
I've tried altering my bed schedule. Whether I sleep 4 hours or 10 hours, I feel exactly the same when I wake up: Exhausted, unmotivated, irritated and suffering from a general malaise.
I would certainly be labeled as having ADHD (but I don't believe that exists), but my main problem is fatigue, which seems to be causing the irritability and inability to concentrate. I never went to a doctor for this because I don't want stuff permanently on my medical record. I am going to get a blood test and I am going to Doctor Shop for Modafinil. If that doesn't work, I'll ask the doctor for Ritalin and then Methamphetamine.
Speed might be fun and useful, but I'm looking for something more long term. This problem is making me increasingly depressed.
I took shrooms, and I began pondering this problem. The thing about shrooms is that they aren't a stimulant, but they potentiate emotions and feelings. Now, when I was happy or when a good song was playing, I felt extremely energetic and upbeat. When I began thinking of something depressing, I became exhausted.
After this I began wondering if the problem can be psychological. I feel VERY tired in class, but I can concentrate if I really like the topic. I can (and sometimes do) stay up all night reading about something I enjoy. Overall though, I'm just way too foggy-minded, tired and irritated to live my day to day life.
There's really no reason other than genetics (or maybe a virus?) as to WHY I should be tired if I exercise, eat properly, sleep on time, stay away from all chemicals (asparatme, PCP, alcohol, etc, I tried abstaining from ALL), stop masturbating and having sex, etc.. I tried EVERYTHING except going to the doctor!
I did visit the doctor for non-related problems and blood tests always showed that I might be anemic.. hmm! but iron supplements did nothing to help, and I wasn't born anemic.
I keep procrastinating on fixing this problem but now I have insurance and I'm close to getting dropped from the Dean's Honor Roll. Please help!
I would like to know WHAT this problem can be. What specific doctors should I go to?
I am thinking it is one of the following:
* Something mental (depression? too much stress or anxiety?)
* Anemia? I take a multivitamin daily.. and was told once to go to a blood doctor and get checked up for anemia because my RBCs are oval shaped. I wasn't born anemic. Is it something you can 'get' after birth?
* Genes? My mommy is always tired but she's been on meds for psychosis for 20 years. My dad has more energy than anyone I've ever met.
* A virus of some sort? I heard that ~90% of people with chronic fatigue have a virus and there's nothing that can be done about it except to counter the symptoms with psychostimulants.
I don't want to get 'new-edgy' but I find it hard to be in the present moment. I am constantly worried or day dreaming or thinking about something unrelated to where I am Right Now. It feels like my brain is processing useless ****, keeping it at 100% CPU usage all the time. I can "stop" this by focusing on the present moment. I meditate and practice this daily, but later on in the day, as I get increasingly more tired, this task becomes overwhelming, if not impossible.
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