Discussions By Condition: Pregnancy

am I wrong for wanting baby so young?

Posted In: Pregnancy 37 Replies
  • Posted By: Heather67
  • September 12, 2007
  • 06:49 AM

I'm sixteen years old. I am very much so in love with my boy friend. About two months ago we decided to try for a baby. No luck yet. We both have part time jobs and are going to school. I will Graduate in a few ,months, from my community collage. Then I can start on more hours at work. I have told my mother about what we are trying to do and his dad also knows. All I keep hearing from both of them are lectures. I understand that we are young, but we have decided on what we want. I wish people would respect our decision and not look down on us like we have no idea as of what we are doing. I have been around kids my whole life and weirdly but truly have wanted one since I was two years old.
Now this is not like I don't have any plans for our family.
I have a bank account, I always budget my money, spend my time wisely, and I hope to go to collage when I am eighteen. I want to be a Nurse.
But if I have my baby sooner then later, then I don't have to go as soon as I am eighteen, and can wait a few years until my child gets older.
And my neighbor has already offered me a job when I'm eighteen, he is high up in the company and I only have to work from 5 A.M to 3 P.M making $15.00 an hour.
So to me that's pretty good. Or my boyfriend/will be husband can take the job and I can just stay home with my baby, until Kaiden or Natalie starts school, then I can go to collage.

I think if I do, then things will work out. My mom would be supportive and I have close friends and family that would be there for us in case anything did happen. Not trying to say I would depend on anyone els to take care of my baby.

I just want to know your opinions on this.

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37 Replies:

  • Sounds like you are not ready. Life is about you, right?You want what you want, right?No need to follow basic logic like being an adult or get married before having a baby? No need to listen to your parents?Work on your relationship skills. You don't sound like you live in harmony with your family- this baby is going to be his/her own person- so you better sharpen up you communication/love skills.Do you expect your child to listen to you? love you ? respect you? Is that what you do for your parents?I don't think you need a baby right now- you ought to look for God. You live in your own reality...that's dangerous.Frui.
    Eatafruit78 960 Replies
    • September 12, 2007
    • 06:39 PM
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  • Well now see I don't know what you mean. I respect my mother. I do eveything sheasks. Life isnt about me. Life is about my family. I was just giving a few reasons how I can support my child finacaly. I am going to get married. On my seventeenth birthday. Witch is 8 months away. I have found god, but I have my own views on god as well. My religion has nothing to do with my question, and who are you to say I need to find god when you don't know me, and I might not belive in god at all.I just want to know what people think about what I asked, not to judge me because you don't know anything about me and my family so how can you say I don't respect my mother, and that my child wou;d nt respect me?
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • September 12, 2007
    • 10:24 PM
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  • Well now see I don't know what you mean. I respect my mother. I do eveything sheasks. Life isnt about me. Life is about my family. I was just giving a few reasons how I can support my child finacaly. I am going to get married. On my seventeenth birthday. Witch is 8 months away. I have found god, but I have my own views on god as well. My religion has nothing to do with my question, and who are you to say I need to find god when you don't know me, and I might not belive in god at all.I just want to know what people think about what I asked, not to judge me because you don't know anything about me and my family so how can you say I don't respect my mother, and that my child wou;d nt respect me?It takes a village to raise a child- what do you have to offer to your child?Love? Okay- what kind of love? I bet you love your parents- do you love your parents to perfection? When your mother gives you a lecture- do you open up and listen to what she means? do you open up and listen to her heart? Do you trusts that she is your mother and she wants what's best for you?How is having sex at your age a good thing? Love is not a recreational activity. I don't mean that poor people don't deserve to have a family, but you need structure, you need a real plan. How much do you have in savings?Do you have medical insurance? Do you know what an epidural is and how much it costs?Who is going to baby seat while you go to college? College is not like High school. Tuition and materials are very expensive. Sometimes the school commitments don't allow any time to be with family and friends. I know you don't like my opinion, but in reality you should not be having sex at your age, or having children out of wedlock. Children who are born like this never have the same opportunities in life as children with a conventional family. This is not my opinion, this is reality.You should educate and inform yourself. Babies are not child's play.Continue studying, working, listening to your parents, pray for understanding. Look for God in His terms, not on your terms. Make yourself strong in the Faith- learn about God so you can teach your children.Don't just have some pagan, secular view of God, and then have kids- life is hard and everyone suffers, so you better get real support and a real back bone.You need to be strong and smart to face life. You don't seem to have a clue.
    Eatafruit78 960 Replies
    • September 13, 2007
    • 02:04 AM
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  • Well now see I don't know what you mean. I respect my mother. I do eveything sheasks. Life isnt about me. Life is about my family. I was just giving a few reasons how I can support my child finacaly. I am going to get married. On my seventeenth birthday. Witch is 8 months away. I have found god, but I have my own views on god as well. My religion has nothing to do with my question, and who are you to say I need to find god when you don't know me, and I might not belive in god at all.I just want to know what people think about what I asked, not to judge me because you don't know anything about me and my family so how can you say I don't respect my mother, and that my child wou;d nt respect me?It takes a village to raise a child- what do you have to offer to your child?Love? Okay- what kind of love? I bet you love your parents- do you love your parents to perfection? When your mother gives you a lecture- do you open up and listen to what she means? do you open up and listen to her heart? Do you trusts that she is your mother and she wants what's best for you?How is having sex at your age a good thing? Love is not a recreational activity. I don't mean that poor people don't deserve to have a family, but you need structure, you need a real plan. How much do you have in savings?Do you have medical insurance? Do you know what an epidural is and how much it costs?Who is going to baby seat while you go to college? College is not like High school. Tuition and materials are very expensive. Sometimes the school commitments don't allow any time to be with family and friends. I know you don't like my opinion, but in reality you should not be having sex at your age, or having children out of wedlock. Children who are born like this never have the same opportunities in life as children with a conventional family. This is not my opinion, this is reality.You should educate and inform yourself. Babies are not child's play.Continue studying, working, listening to your parents, pray for understanding. Look for God in His terms, not on your terms. Make yourself strong in the Faith- learn about God so you can teach your children.Don't just have some pagan, secular view of God, and then have kids- life is hard and everyone suffers, so you better get real support and a real back bone.You need to be strong and smart to face life. You don't seem to have a clue.
    Eatafruit78 960 Replies
    • September 13, 2007
    • 03:04 AM
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  • Okay. Well I can see where you have some what of a point. And I'm not saying that it is not reality. But like I said in my first post. I can financially support my child. Money is not a problem. And I have a loving family to teach my child the things I can not. About the whole god thing and you thinking I'm to young to have sex, Those are your opinions. And I am guessing we do not have ANY understanding at all. Not that I'm not open to listening to your opinions and thoughts. I'm open minded but I am also very smart for my age and very opinionated, and I will speak my mind as well as listen to other peoples mind speaking. Now you may not see this on my level. But All I want you to know is that my mind is made up on what I want. && I am starting to think that I might be pregnant now. I am a spiritual person and I do Tarot Cards and Play with Ouija boards, And I was told my outcome of this will be very wonderful, and that I will or am as of now going to be or am pregnant in the next two months. I'm sure these are not your beliefs so I am just going to stop talking about it. I would continue to write to you but I have to be at work in 20 mins and I still have to get dressed.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • September 13, 2007
    • 11:05 AM
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  • I'm with the older person on this 1. There is a reason extra-marital abstinence and marriage itself are standard in the world and even indicated by God. They are the best thing for the CHILD who may - or may not - be. (Yes, sex before you marry WISELY will affect your relationship and thus, how any future child will see the world.) That child has absolutely no say as to what his circumstances will be. You are going in with the worst possible situation, minus abject poverty (background) to begin with. That is very foolish for the child, most importantly, and not very smart for you or your boyfriend. Neither of you have learned about yourselves much nor about people generally or every-day life generally. Rarely these things - young "relationships" - work out. They are the exceptions, and it's not smart to shoot for yourself being the exception. It's especially not fair to the prospective child who didn't ask to be raised in that circumstance which is about the worst.
    Ol'Line Rebel 5 Replies
    • September 13, 2007
    • 01:26 PM
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  • Okay. Well I can see where you have some what of a point. And I'm not saying that it is not reality. But like I said in my first post. I can financially support my child. Money is not a problem. And I have a loving family to teach my child the things I can not. About the whole god thing and you thinking I'm to young to have sex, Those are your opinions. And I am guessing we do not have ANY understanding at all. Not that I'm not open to listening to your opinions and thoughts. I'm open minded but I am also very smart for my age and very opinionated, and I will speak my mind as well as listen to other peoples mind speaking. Now you may not see this on my level. But All I want you to know is that my mind is made up on what I want. && I am starting to think that I might be pregnant now. I am a spiritual person and I do Tarot Cards and Play with Ouija boards, And I was told my outcome of this will be very wonderful, and that I will or am as of now going to be or am pregnant in the next two months. I'm sure these are not your beliefs so I am just going to stop talking about it. I would continue to write to you but I have to be at work in 20 mins and I still have to get dressed.Tarot and the Board will drive you straight to ***l. Demons rule those 'spiritual' activities. You open up to then, you are possesed by the devil. Why do you say that you have a loving family to teach your child this and that? It is your decision to have a baby- so how are you deciding to bring more responsibilities if not a burden to your family? They are not the ones trying to get pregnant. You can't just bring a baby to the world and pretend that your family has you covered.Money is not a problem? Do you have a trust fund for you and the baby? C'mon- last time I checked an epidural costed 3 thousand bucks.Stay away from all that sorcery- because if you don't your children will pay for your mistakes. Your mind is not clear and you are made to believe thing that are not true. You simply don't know what you don't know and that's why you call yourself smart. Those demonic practices are infusing you with all twisted messages that sound so true because they come from "familiar spirits" which mean that demons who are familiar with your weaknesses are behind it. These demons go after you and know exactly what your soft spots are and how to guide you into your ruin.Clean up your act.Read and read some more. Read about people's experiences with Paganism and 'Spiritual Practices' - go ahead and learn statistics: you'll see that people with your profile has no chance in life. Look for studies of underage mothers having children out of wedlock, you'll see. Do you know what inflation is? How does this resonate on your child's life?Children can't eat processed food- organic food and untainted meats are also expensive-can you afford non genetically modified food for yourself and another person?If you are thinking that you can feed a child with pop tarts, frozen waffles, veggie patties, lunch meats, boxes of juice, chocolate milk, etc you are looking at all the wrong sources of nutrition. Children don't grow healthy on Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or pasta with marinara sauce- no mac and cheese either.Life demands a person who commits at least 3 hours of the day to the kitchen- how are you going to work, take care of your child, study and be in the kitchen?I'll send you articles and websites of all sorts so you can start getting a sense of what's ahead.Chances are that you are not even in the best shape to even get pregnant. Have you had a blood test for STD's recently? I have to go get some coffee and get to Campus- so later gator.I'll be praying for you Honey.Frui.
    Eatafruit78 960 Replies
    • September 13, 2007
    • 01:41 PM
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  • Well, Just thought I'd add my two cents in here... Heather, yes you are young. But you also sound determined and fairly level headed for your age. It sounds like you may in fact be pregnant. My hope is that you are taking the very best prenatal vitamins you can afford, with at least 800mcg of folic acid. My hope is that you and your partner are not smoking or drinking. If you are going to beat the odds (and the odds are definitely NOT in your favor at your age and under the circumstances), then you really need to take the very best care of yourself while trying to conceive and having a baby. This means eating well, not drinking or smoking, getting regular exercise and taking prenatal vitamins. Get to the library and find every book you can on prenatal health and raising a baby. Educate yourself so you are better able to take care of the little one you want so desperately. If you find that you are NOT pregnant, then you will have more time to prepare and enjoy your life right now. I have to agree with the others that 16 is very young to have a baby. You may really end up resenting this intrusion on your life... My point is to please not feel desperate about things - you have a long life ahead of you. How long have you been with your boyfriend? That is great you are "in love", but please know that it is rare to find your soulmate at your age...took me 34 years;) ! Best wishesDOM
    acuann 3,080 Replies
    • September 13, 2007
    • 07:34 PM
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  • Heather,Being "right and wrong" is subjective. Regardless of age (where legal) if something feels right and it harms none then do it. It is better to regret doing something than not doing something. You sound level headed and unlike even alot of older mum's you have a good life plan! Too often we conform to what others believe (WTF is with that guy spouting all the religious nonsense ?) I believe in God, but non of the judgemental Crap. God is us and we are god. He put us here to experience all aspects of being in all forms. We choose how we are born in this world and we take what experiences we make back with us when we pass over.If things don't work out long term, then that is what must be. If things do work out then also that is what must be. Do not have expectations. Your reality is what you make of it. So to live in your "own reality" is not dangerous, as you are quite capable to do as you feel is right. If only more people would follow there hearts and not live in fear (MR/Ms God fearing person is a case in point) Anyone with half a brain knows God is non judgemental and is about pure Love and that the Devil and Evil are Man created to have power and control over others. Kind of a side issue, but I don't feel comfortable with some one trying to scare you by putting the "fear of God" into you. You bet that'll be going on his/her Karmic record! Anyway enough rambling and whatever you choose is right, if it feels right to you. Ask for guidance if you need reassuring If you believe in Angels, there are plenty of rscources available. If not, just good old positive attitude. What you think of you manifest. Take care, Live your truth and be happyIn Love and Light:p
    Squidgeblip 9 Replies
    • September 17, 2007
    • 07:10 AM
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  • Hi, me again. I too am on the spiritual path (at the tender age of 28!) and pregnant. You are in a better position than me! I would like to get your email so we can chat, if is ok. One thing, I am aware Ouiji Boards are seen to be dangerous and I know people who have unleashed some nasty things doing these. Schools even banned them under threat of suspension here in the UK. I prefer to err on the side of caution as I am not sure about them, but if they feel right to you and you know how to protect your self (Michael is a good one to call on) then that is fine. I had a weird angel experience/vision a couple of months back, but it showed there are dark force out there. Strangely though, in the end the dark serves the light, for how would you know something was light and good if you had nothing dark to compare it to ? And if you are pregnant, I wish you all the best and unconditional love (Warm and Fuzzy!). It sounds like your partner is more supportive in your lifestyle than mine is (and mine is 41!).I hope I hear back from you.Take Care:p
    Squidgeblip 9 Replies
    • September 17, 2007
    • 07:20 AM
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  • My name is Tara, I am 19 years of age and have 2 children, they are 2, 1, and I am pregnant with another. My first baby was a surprise, and my second and 3(pregnancy) came as utter shock because I was taking birth control. If you think about anything in your life that you wish you could take back then you would kind of know how I feel. (not saying I would not want my kids, but I would have waited until I was out of college and with a permanent job) And my advice to you is that you may have your mind set to something but until you actually experience it you will never know. When it comes to a child, you could imagine yourself growing up. You had your own opinions, beliefs, feelings, and everything was basically different. You were your own person. You had wants and needs that you expected to be fulfilled. But as a young child you turn to your mother and/or father to fulfill them. Now, imagine someone looking to you for everything for their young years and possibly their older years. And no matter how much money you have in the world it doesnt cover a child. You have to guide that person in the right direction, like you were. I honestly believe that taking care of a child requires alot of help, and it should not be layed to just one parent. So back to the advice of experiencing something would tell you everything. It would be easy to make a decision like smoking a ciggarette. You smoke one, and you could say, man, I did not like that, you cant take that back but you can make the decision not to do it again. But as for something as precious as a child, you cant put the baby back in the womb. So I think you should think long and hard about conceiving a child. Because a child is as they say a full time job. I wish I would of waited until I had a college degree and was settled to a job until retirement. Because I have to devote my time trying to take care of my children and supporting them with little jobs that dont last very long. I dont have time for school like I thought. I thought by getting a good 16.00 an hour job would cover, it didnt. And on top of that. The father was very supportive until he got a taste of that major responsibility. Then, he left out. So all I am saying is that everything doesnt go how you have your mind set to go, and if I were you, I would think about everything that could possibly go wrong, and tell me which direction you should turn.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • October 3, 2007
    • 04:10 AM
    • 0
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  • My name is Tara, I am 19 years of age and have 2 children, they are 2, 1, and I am pregnant with another. My first baby was a surprise, and my second and 3(pregnancy) came as utter shock because I was taking birth control. If you think about anything in your life that you wish you could take back then you would kind of know how I feel. (not saying I would not want my kids, but I would have waited until I was out of college and with a permanent job) And my advice to you is that you may have your mind set to something but until you actually experience it you will never know. When it comes to a child, you could imagine yourself growing up. You had your own opinions, beliefs, feelings, and everything was basically different. You were your own person. You had wants and needs that you expected to be fulfilled. But as a young child you turn to your mother and/or father to fulfill them. Now, imagine someone looking to you for everything for their young years and possibly their older years. And no matter how much money you have in the world it doesnt cover a child. You have to guide that person in the right direction, like you were. I honestly believe that taking care of a child requires alot of help, and it should not be layed to just one parent. So back to the advice of experiencing something would tell you everything. It would be easy to make a decision like smoking a ciggarette. You smoke one, and you could say, man, I did not like that, you cant take that back but you can make the decision not to do it again. But as for something as precious as a child, you cant put the baby back in the womb. So I think you should think long and hard about conceiving a child. Because a child is as they say a full time job. I wish I would of waited until I had a college degree and was settled to a job until retirement. Because I have to devote my time trying to take care of my children and supporting them with little jobs that dont last very long. I dont have time for school like I thought. I thought by getting a good 16.00 an hour job would cover, it didnt. And on top of that. The father was very supportive until he got a taste of that major responsibility. Then, he left out. So all I am saying is that everything doesnt go how you have your mind set to go, and if I were you, I would think about everything that could possibly go wrong, and tell me which direction you should turn. Wow, what an enlightened, thoughtful post! You sound like you have been through an awful lot at only 19. You are right a child is a FULL time job. I hope you get all the support you need and you sound like you are a great mom in spite of your age. Please know that having so many children close together can really deplete your body. Please get the nutrients you need, and take the best prenatal vitamins you can afford! Best wishesDOM
    acuann 3,080 Replies
    • October 4, 2007
    • 01:29 PM
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  • I am doing pretty much okay. I am still pretty healthy, but I always seem to get anemic. And I put on weight since I first got pregnant. But this time around I am doing better with that. But yes, despite the pregnancies, my life has been filled with many negative things, and I would not want the same for my kids. I had to learn to thrive and survive on my own at an early age. So many people find me to be a pretty wise and smart person. And I want to be that way for my kids.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • October 7, 2007
    • 10:41 PM
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  • You sound exactly like me at your age. I was head over heels i love with my boyfriend as well. Nobody couldnt tell us anything. Got pregnant at 16 & had a beautiful baby girl. Im 25 years old now & have 2 children that I am raising on my own. The father & I were together for 7 years total until it went sour. The responsibilities of being young are nothing compared to the challenges of being an adult. Paying rent, bills, taking care of your children. But your not seeing it that way. Because your "young & dumb." Youll understand all this when your older. If you really want to become a nurse, you have to go to school for that. What about daycare? As much help as you seem to have now, trust me, babysitters will be hard to come by. Im not going to even tell you what you should be doing. Because I was where you once were & your not gonna listen now. Just get ready to call yourself stupid later on in life.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • November 20, 2007
    • 03:21 PM
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  • The others have told you everything that only experience can teach you, so I am not going to give you any good words. Instead I have an idea. If you are able to, you should try to take care of a child for week. I mean if you have someone that can let you watch their child day and night for 7 days you would understand alot more of what your parents are trying to tell you. I have no doubt that you and your boyfriend have serious feelings for each other, but that does not mean it is time to have children. Oh.. and if you can't find someone who will let you borrow their baby, they have dolls that act like a baby. Rent one and see how it works out... Kiera
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • November 20, 2007
    • 09:47 PM
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  • As I read on, it is plainly obvious to me that you want a child. I am young as well (21) and I, too, want a baby, but I know that now isn't the right time. I know in your heart that you would love and care for this child as much as you are able. Please keep in mind, though, that in order to successfully raise a child, you need to be able to meet your own and your child's needs first. As you get older, you will realize exactly how hard it is to accomplish such things. You may think that you are financially stable enough to support a family, but think again; pregnancy, childbirth, and the years to follow are much more expensive than you may initially think. Do your research. Hospital bills and the nine months prior to delivery right up to the very day you leave with your newborn is already an estimated 12,000 dollars, give or take some depending on which route you take (natural birth, medicines, etc). This is not accounting for all the supplies and necessities you will need for your child such as clothing, diapers, food, and other miscellaneous items. The first year raising a child is roughly 5,000 or more by today's standards. These are just the financial difficulties that you have to look forward to. Pushing that aside, I respect your decision to continue with your education, but again, PLEASE remember that these things take time and A LOT of money. As a college student myself, I make good money, but I am so hard-pressed for time and finances that I couldn't possibly imagine having a child, despite how much my boyfriend and I want one. I attend a state school, not unfairly priced, but loans and other supplies that they don't tell you about really add up... with interest and all...it is hard living on your own, especially if you have to manage raising a child. You say that you already have a job waiting in line, which is commendable, especially at your age. Many six-teen year-olds don't have the maturity to handle a job. However, times change as we get older. Making $15/Hour may seem a lot to you now, but it certainly won't be enough when you have a child to provide for, a $500/month college bill to pay for, food, rent, and other bills. Also, you can't always rely on your family to help you because they won't always be there. Your parents are getting older, and regardless of how much they love you (and how much you want to deny it), eventually they are going to want to escape and live their senior lives together. In the end, you will have to rely on yourself, and that can be hard as a young teen. Not to mention a teen without a degree. In some countries, it is normal to have a child at your age. Unfortunately for you, you live in America. The standards of living are much, MUCH higher here. It is not uncommon for people to be turned away when applying for menial jobs like McDonalds only because employers are looking for something more than a high school diploma. Higher education is an absolute MUST if you want to succeed in today’s world. On a personal note, my mother had a child (me) at seventeen and she struggled every step of the way. I couldn't possibly describe to you what my childhood was like, but I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Especially not a child if I were to have one… now OR in the future. I don't doubt your abilities to mother an infant, but what you don't understand is that life throws things at you that you can't foresee now. Five years from now you may not be with the same man. You may change your career goals, or where you want to live. You may NOT have that job that you are so dependent on, which leaves you without an income and with no reliable way to support your hungry son or daughter. I know this was a long--and somewhat harsh--response, but I cannot stress to you enough the difficulties that await you. I know that you want a child badly, but please take it from a child that was raised from a child herself -- it is a hard, long life and I even though I want a child, I know that I have to work hard and wait for the right time to raise a family (along with a supportive husband by my side) so that I can provide for them a happy and fulfilling lifestyle that my mother couldn't give me. What you need to do now is to take a step back and look at the big picture. It isn't always about what you want and what you think you are capable of. If you really wanted to love a child, love it enough to wait so that you can give it the best life you can; to be the best mother you can be. And I know (and hopefully you will, too) that it will be the best decision that you can make.
    Hanny08 1 Replies
    • December 13, 2007
    • 03:51 AM
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  • As I read on, it is plainly obvious to me that you want a child. I am young as well (21) and I, too, want a baby, but I know that now isn't the right time. I know in your heart that you would love and care for this child as much as you are able. Please keep in mind, though, that in order to successfully raise a child, you need to be able to meet your own and your child's needs first. As you get older, you will realize exactly how hard it is to accomplish such things. You may think that you are financially stable enough to support a family, but think again; pregnancy, childbirth, and the years to follow are much more expensive than you may initially think. Do your research. Hospital bills and the nine months prior to delivery right up to the very day you leave with your newborn is already an estimated 12,000 dollars, give or take some depending on which route you take (natural birth, medicines, etc). This is not accounting for all the supplies and necessities you will need for your child such as clothing, diapers, food, and other miscellaneous items. The first year raising a child is roughly 5,000 or more by today's standards. These are just the financial difficulties that you have to look forward to. Pushing that aside, I respect your decision to continue with your education, but again, PLEASE remember that these things take time and A LOT of money. As a college student myself, I make good money, but I am so hard-pressed for time and finances that I couldn't possibly imagine having a child, despite how much my boyfriend and I want one. I attend a state school, not unfairly priced, but loans and other supplies that they don't tell you about really add up... with interest and all...it is hard living on your own, especially if you have to manage raising a child.You say that you already have a job waiting in line, which is commendable, especially at your age. Many six-teen year-olds don't have the maturity to handle a job. However, times change as we get older. Making $15/Hour may seem a lot to you now, but it certainly won't be enough when you have a child to provide for, a $500/month college bill to pay for, food, rent, and other bills. Also, you can't always rely on your family to help you because they won't always be there. Your parents are getting older, and regardless of how much they love you (and how much you want to deny it), eventually they are going to want to escape and live their senior lives together. In the end, you will have to rely on yourself, and that can be hard as a young teen. Not to mention a teen without a degree. In some countries, it is normal to have a child at your age. Unfortunately for you, you live in America. The standards of living are much, MUCH higher here. It is not uncommon for people to be turned away when applying for menial jobs like McDonalds only because employers are looking for something more than a high school diploma. Higher education is an absolute MUST if you want to succeed in today’s world.On a personal note, my mother had a child (me) at seventeen and she struggled every step of the way. I couldn't possibly describe to you what my childhood was like, but I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Especially not a child if I were to have one… now OR in the future. I don't doubt your abilities to mother an infant, but what you don't understand is that life throws things at you that you can't foresee now. Five years from now you may not be with the same man. You may change your career goals, or where you want to live. You may NOT have that job that you are so dependent on, which leaves you without an income and with no reliable way to support your hungry son or daughter.I know this was a long--and somewhat harsh--response, but I cannot stress to you enough the difficulties that await you. I know that you want a child badly, but please take it from a child that was raised from a child herself -- it is a hard, long life and I even though I want a child, I know that I have to work hard and wait for the right time to raise a family (along with a supportive husband by my side) so that I can provide for them a happy and fulfilling lifestyle that my mother couldn't give me. What you need to do now is to take a step back and look at the big picture. It isn't always about what you want and what you think you are capable of. If you really wanted to love a child, love it enough to wait so that you can give it the best life you can; to be the best mother you can be. And I know (and hopefully you will, too) that it will be the best decision that you can make. Beautifully said - thanks for the post:) .DOM
    acuann 3,080 Replies
    • December 13, 2007
    • 09:58 PM
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  • I just wanted to add, that I too just recently turned 20 and already have 2 young children, with my third due in July. While the last 3 years since I got pregnant with my son, has not always been a picnic and at times seemed as though I had ruined my life completely, I wouldn't change it for the world. I worked my **s to take care of my children and get to where I am today. I now however, own my home, finished school and have a great job and get to spend all the time I want with my both my kids and it's not nearly as difficult as everybody made it sound like it would be when I first learned I was pregnant with my son. I'm not saying every 16 year old who wants to have a baby should, however, it can be done, and it doesn't always mean, that that child is going to grow up in a bad home, with a single parent struggling to pay the bills. Yes, I still have a long ways to go with raising my kids and sure everything could go downhill from here, and it definitely will if I let myself feel as though its not suppose to work out and that simply because I was young and I'll admit very dumb, that I am not capable of being just as good a mother as somebody who is 35 and has been married for 10years.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • January 4, 2008
    • 09:58 AM
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  • Honestly No! None of you are wrong for wanting a baby at a younger age. Women mature at a earlier age then men do of course. And us women start out at a younger age. For an example I was in Grade School and had started getting acne, and growing hair on my legs and under arms, in 3rd garde I was 9 and started my period. I think it's normal for a woman to hit a certain age and say (BAM) I'm ready. Personally I think there are a quite a few mothers out there who are young who make great mothers then their is many older ones. I think that if you feel mentally and physically ready to take on all of the responsabilities that a child needs then go ahead just be prepared that they aren't all about their cuteness and showing off to the world in their cute little clothes. They poop, cry, need fed every hour or more, burped, played with, talk to, cuddle, be taken everywhere with you, doctor appointments, plus all of their personal needs, baby formula, breastfeeding is a plus because it's healthier for the baby plus your saving money on something they shoulnd't be drinking in the first place " Formula." But I think that if the mother isn't single then it really does help, if you ahve close friends and family who can help then that's even better. No worries because everything will work out when it's your time. I personally really wanted a baby when I was 15 my b/f and I at the time bought a boy's out fit and a girls outfit. Then came home and showed my parents. They expect it and my parents say I'm too young to be a grandpa but LOl naaa he can be a young good looking pop! :) Haha along with Grammy! Right? But personally I am 19 will be 20 this year, I have tried, many times if not multiple times! And still no results! It's nerve racking, physically, emotionally, and everytime I see pregnant women my stomach just cringes and sinks to the bottom literally. My hands become sweaty and my pulms, my heart races fast and then I can't begin to think straight even when I have a huge line of grocery's to pack at Winco. Haha but I know it's not my turn otherwise I would have had my miracle by now. I believe everyone will have there's when it's the right time. By the way yes it's true that babies cost a lot Haha but it depends on how picky you are. Instead of buying every single thing on your own! Wait for your baby shower, and then take what you have saved and by the rest, buy clothes inbetween babies growth so you don't spend a wad of cash at one time! Stock as your baby grows, don't buy all brand name items, it's okay to get something off brand once in a while! Don't relie on yourself to do everything or your hubby! Medical bill can be payed for by medical insurance or you can get a house wife who comes and helps, it's a lot cheaper! Diapers can be spendy so it's important, to purchase as many as u can get before the baby arrives so after the baby shower then buy what you need. Remember it's always good to borrow and look for sales on baby furniture and toddler items. So honestly babies aren't that spendy it's that as they get older to a certain age they start wanting everything! Us adults know that's not possible and we teach are children the same lesson that not everything comes free that even your parents have to work for it! Here's my story I will be 20 years old this year, I have a scholarship for any school in Washington, I got accepted to a private College that is very challenging to get into, kind of like harbored University in Cali. But that's besides the point. I decided to put school to the side while I went to go travel and experince life for a while since I had just graduated last year with my diploma woowho! That Senior year was hard work, and I got an amazing job I am a counselor/ staff supporter who does a little bit of vendoring with my clients, I work for the F.B.I = The Federal Bearu Investigation! I love it and that's why i went to school but I found a better way of succeding because I'm actually amking good income and not spending it all on school. My b/f and I have been together for 3 yrs, 4 months, and 10 days. And we are engaged to get married. So he is now so called my " Fiance." :) Which makes me very proud, we have been trying for a baby off and on through out the years we have been together which was when I was 16 1/2 years old, now being almost 20 I really feel ready, we make very good income now, we don't live with my parents anymore and him and I seperate, he lives with me, we have our own town house, with an extra bedroom if I was to ever become pregnant, I have planned everything out, and bought stuff for a baby boy and girl. I just feel soo ready and I know for me I am just that type of person who loves to help, I am taking care of a 35 year old grown man my b/f and I so we can help him move out, along with another friend. And then my roomate, which would move out if I became pregnant. So everything is wonderful! My hubby and I are good and very in love. So I believe everything would work out for us, but not for everyone out there especially my age, and I realize it's hard! That's one thing to keep in mind. So I say Do It! As long as you know all the information! Congrats and good luck trying! :)
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • Wow you sound a lot like my sister named Heather. She is only 13 though and wants a baby. In my opinion, yes you are too young. You have your whole life ahead of you, why not go out and enjoy it before settling down. Also, you should probably attend college and graduate so you can get a job, get a home, and then think about having a baby! I would wait a few years until after you get a college degree then try for a baby! So many of my friends have accidently gotten pregnant at your age and they can no longer do the things they wanted to do in life. It takes a lot to care for a baby and a lot of money, babies arent cheap!
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
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