Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

Agoriphobia/Panic Attacks/Anxiety for 37 yrs! PLEASE RESPOND!!

Posted In: Mental conditions 0 Replies
  • Posted By: MagnoliaAngel
  • May 26, 2007
  • 03:33 PM

I have had Agoriphobia for 37 yrs. of my 51 yrs of my life. If any of you out there have this disorder can you please reply & tell me what If any medication or any kind of thearpy has helped you even a tiny bit, Im so sick of being stuck In my world that consist of my home & yard. It's seem to have gotten a lot worse the last couple of yrs & Im at the end of my rope. I have read sooo many self-help books & most probally tried just about every med....seems like, but Nothing or no one can seem to give me any answer's In this small town I live In. The Dr's here are all old school & just want to think Im making all of this up!LOL!! I wish...It's like im living In my own private ***l 24/7 & Im not able to be the grandma I would Love to be. I cry a lot & my self esteem Is gone!! I use to be care free & nothing bothered me, untill this hit me out of the blue...BAMM!!! I was raped at age 8 yrs old, & the boy had about 6 BIG butcher knives & said he was going to kill me if I didn't take off all my clothes, more knives I still have a Fear of knives to this DAY!! I was raised In an Alcoholic home with constant Fear of my mom killing me in my sleep. I saved me & my 2 younger sister's from her killing us all with a knife...I had to put both my sisters out the tiny B Room window as she was screaming Im going to kill all of ya'll. I finally got them to safety & got my self out last...then I grabed them by thier tiny hand's & ran down the st. crying to a neighbor's house, I still remember the point of the knife coming through the bath room door & how scared I was. My mom passed away In 2003, she was an alcoholic & lived In her own private ***l, now her spirt Is finally at peace & at rest, she was one of 14 kid's. My aunt Margie passed away 4 months after my mom & she was more like a Mom to me & we could always Laugh together...I think about her every day & miss her sooo bad. I also lost my Daddy 2...Barney he was also more of a Daddy to me than my real Daddy was. He passed away last June. I also had a very close friend die totally unexpected...we were best friend's for about 15 yrs...but I had pulled away from her because she was also an alcoholic..& I had quit drinking. I hate Alcohol. Im going to start back to group thearpy In acouple of week's at our local Mental health...I need to be around people again & make my self go. I have kept my self isolated because I also have bad social anxiety & don't like being around anyone I don't know! I hate Agoriphobia & all of the crazy symptoms that come along with it..It's like Im In a constant battle to just stay alive!! 24/7 ***l is what I call it. If ANY of you out there have this & have found anything that has helped you..PLEASE let me know, I am sick of being sick & having to make excuses for Not perticipating In LIFE....but my fear's are all Very REAL & VERY SCAREY!! I wouldn't wish this crap on anyone but the Devil!! Thank's for taking the time to read my post...Please reply...I need a friend to chat with who understands the ***l I live Every DAY! Thank's & God Bless!

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