Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

I think about suicide but am not depressed

Posted In: Mental conditions 34 Replies
  • Posted By: jo_safeforever
  • March 23, 2007
  • 01:54 AM

I'm 18. And I' happy with my life. I just find myself commonly thinking about suicide. For example, the other day I was standing at the edge of a cliff and I thought about jumping, I even looked for the best place to jump where I wouldn't hit any trees. I wasn't going to do it, so why did I think about doing it? I also find that I'm often a little bit paranoid, I feel that people are out ot stab me in the back, and have very abrupt and severe mood swings. When I put all these symptoms together on this site the diagnosis was amphetamine abuse, but i don't take amphetamines, and have in fact never even seen them. Please help me.:(

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34 Replies:

  • could someone please help. I'm 18 and I can't afford to go to a psychologist.
    jo_safeforever 6 Replies Flag this Response
  • I've read that people in depression are usually in denial and are usually the last person to know it! Or maybe you might just be in search of an adrenalin rush? Look into bunjee jumping or parachuting. I regularly feel the same, but I have been diagnosed with depression when I was a young teen and denied it and know I have it now, but then I also love adrenalin rushes!
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • Hi, I'm 26 and sometimes that happens to me... They said I have intrusive thoughts. I can be watching tv and all of a sudden I will start to think about ways I could kill myself. Or like you, standing at a high place and thinking jump, jump, jump! But try looking up intrusive thoughts... I find when I have these thoughts it's best I stop what I'm doing and do something else. If that doesn't help try drawing.Her,
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • Jo, I feel safe saying that everyone has thoughts like that at some point in their life. But if you're having them regularly, and especially if you think you might act on them, then you need to do something. Look in your phone book for emergency services such as suicide prevention and crisis lines, or mental health referral services. In many parts of the U.S., you can now dial 211, and be connected with a referral service (in most places run by United Way) that has huge lists of resources for whatever you need. There are psychotherapists who may be available to you free or for a very small fee, depending on your situation.The fact that you're both thinking about suicide and feeling paranoid makes me think that you've got something more going on than just idle thoughts. Please, call one of these resources and talk to someone.Take care of yourself, and good luck!!
    AmateurHistorian 74 Replies Flag this Response
  • I think often about suicide also. I am happily married and a stay at home mom of three kids. but If I get tired and can't fall asleep or when I think of something I would rather not deal with like bills I start thinking about cutting myslef or wishing I was dead. I should say that I have never cut myslef or tried to die. I just think about it for a bit and usually end up either turning on the tv or getting myself busy. I really don't want to die and am not that unhappy but for some reason it is how my brain deals with stress and tells me to do something else.
    lorihelleso 1 Replies Flag this Response
  • If I get tired and can't fall asleep or when I think of something I would rather not deal with like bills I start thinking about cutting myslef or wishing I was dead .... I really don't want to die and am not that unhappy but for some reason it is how my brain deals with stress and tells me to do something else.I'm 50 years old, and have had chronic depression as far back into childhood as I can remember. At age 17, I started having periods of months and years at a time when I was in so much pain that I thought about suicide more or less constantly. I've used lots of different antidepressant meds, which helped to varying degrees for varying lengths of time. Last fall, I started taking a different class of drugs that, at least for now, has lifted me fully out of my depression. Now I try to take each depression-free day as a precious gift, never knowing how many more of them I'll have.But beyond that, I also have moments like you described, lori: things aren't going my way, and I'm hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, and my mind is used to thinking of suicide as a way out, so that's what I start to think about. I've always had those thoughts, whether my underlying depression was active or quiet. I still have them even now, with my chronic depression essentially gone. Like you said, it just seems to be one of the ways my brain has learned to react to stress. I've had to learn how to tell the difference between the suicidal thoughts that are just passing and nothing to worry about, and the ones that I need to take seriously -- like, when I start to actually plan how to do it.And then there's that interesting third kind of suicidal thought that I get about once a year when I'm driving on a highway. I look at the oncoming traffic and think, All I'd have to do is turn this steering wheel about 6 inches, and have a head-on collision with that other car, at speeds totaling 140 miles an hour. Interesting. Wonder what that would be like? Just six little inches....If you think that makes me sound like a Stephen King character, I agree. That's part of why I like King's writing: many of his characters have the same shadowy, shameful things running around their minds as I do. Is that a common thing? I think it is, actually. But in any case, I can read King and think, Wow, maybe I'm not so strange after all. :rolleyes:
    AmateurHistorian 74 Replies Flag this Response
  • I'm not happy with my life i'm a liar. I thought i was, but every little thing that happens me effects me so badly. Things that may bother someone for a day bothers me for weeks, i cry uncontrolabley and i sometimes feel like i'm in a hole I can't get out of. When i feel crap i never see a doctor because i think they wont believe me, they'll think i'm a dramaqueen because i'm a teenaged girl. then when i feel better i think that's all it was. i hate feeling so bad. i just want it to stop. if you are depressed, do you feel down all the time or does it come and go?
    jo_safeforever 6 Replies Flag this Response
  • Depression can manifest many different ways in many different people. I am sorry you are having these feelings, but please know you are not alone. Amateur is right - there are many resources you can find to help you - the phone book is a good place to start. Is there someone you can talk to about this? Anyone at your school? I have said this before, but I feel very strongly that there is a connection between mood disorders and nutritional deficiencies, especially in young people. We are not getting proper nutrition from out diets, and this can often lead to a deficiency that will affect our brain function. Please visit www.1stholistic.com to look up the various symptoms and connect them to certain vitamin/mineral deficiencies...this would be a good place to start in my opinion. B vitamins, magnesium, and others are important for stabilizing mood. Exercise is one of the best things out there to help improve mood. If you don't exercise at all, consider starting - take this slowly, but after a month or so you should notice a real difference. It has been one of the best and cheapest things to help my feelings of depression. Best wishesDOM
    acuann 3,080 Replies Flag this Response
  • when i was about 14 i was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. i dont take any medicine for it. but your symptoms seem similar to mine, however they dont completly fit the description of BPD. heres a link so see what you think: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/bpd.cfm sometimes i think i just have a morbid mind or something. but you could talk to your doctor about it and see what he thinks.
    hazel10 2 Replies Flag this Response
  • I'm 18. And I' happy with my life. I just find myself commonly thinking about suicide. For example, the other day I was standing at the edge of a cliff and I thought about jumping, I even looked for the best place to jump where I wouldn't hit any trees. I wasn't going to do it, so why did I think about doing it? I also find that I'm often a little bit paranoid, I feel that people are out ot stab me in the back, and have very abrupt and severe mood swings. When I put all these symptoms together on this site the diagnosis was amphetamine abuse, but i don't take amphetamines, and have in fact never even seen them. Please help me.:(Hi Jo, I am a counsellor, with a degree in psychology, but I'm giving you some friendly non-professional advice. Fantasies about suicide are really really common and not usually a problem!. As for the paranoia and mood swings, I suggest that you just go to your local library, and look up paranoia, as there are some great books on the subject - They should cover Cognitive Behaviour Therapy which should help with the mood swings also!
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • thank you everyone for sharing it is such a relief to know i am not alone. i also think what if sometimes while driving or about jumping when i am up high or hurting myself. I thought i was the only oneand could not figure it out. I have a great life 3 amazing kids a wonderful husband a roof food and friends. I am normally very positive so thishas been freaking me out until i found this site. Does anyone know of any chat rooms or support stes for this???
    heffelfinger 1 Replies
    • October 1, 2008
    • 06:17 AM
    • 0
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  • I'm 19 and feel that I can relate to this. I am not depressed but I can't really say I'm happy either, the best way I can think of to describe the way I feel most of the time is that I feel numb. I feel like my emotions are muted but I don't know why and am a bit concerned about this since.I often find myself wanting to die and several times thinking of how I might do it. I have to say that if it wasn't for not wanting to hurt my family and friends with my death I probably would go ahead with it at times. I don't think I'm depressed and I don't feel sad I just feel numb.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • I kind of feeling the same thing. I'm 16, I'm doing great in school, I have many friends but I sometimes feel like I should commit suicide. I sometimes daydream about it. I don't think I'm depressed, afterall, I have nothing to be depressed about. I'm most of the time and also crave being alone. :S What's up with me?
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • I kind of feeling the same thing. I'm 16, I'm doing great in school, I have many friends but I sometimes feel like I should commit suicide. I sometimes daydream about it. I don't think I'm depressed, afterall, I have nothing to be depressed about. I'm most of the time and also crave being alone. :S What's up with me?I don't want to commit suicide, I just don't want to live. I can see my life all laid out before me and I hate it, but I can't change it. Every effort is an excercise in futility. I've tried a possitive, don't quit additude. I've tried giving it all to God. I've tried to just accept it, but that becomes the problem. Like I said, I don't want to commit suicide, I just want someone else to end this for me one way or another.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • September 1, 2009
    • 06:27 PM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
  • I'm 18. And I' happy with my life. I just find myself commonly thinking about suicide. For example, the other day I was standing at the edge of a cliff and I thought about jumping, I even looked for the best place to jump where I wouldn't hit any trees. I wasn't going to do it, so why did I think about doing it? I also find that I'm often a little bit paranoid, I feel that people are out ot stab me in the back, and have very abrupt and severe mood swings. When I put all these symptoms together on this site the diagnosis was amphetamine abuse, but i don't take amphetamines, and have in fact never even seen them. Please help me.:(I get these thoughts often as well and I have found a complete cure for them. In most peoples eyes probably not the healthiest cure, but incredibly effective. Smoke some pot. You relax, your mind wanders to different things very quickly and it also releases "pleasure chemicals" such as dopamine and others and just makes you feel good. SO SMOKE A BONG! FEEL GOOD!
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • November 16, 2009
    • 05:31 AM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
  • I'm 18 and i think about suicide alot...not like as in i want to die but i want to know what it feels like to die and i wonder if it would be better to die then live the rest of my life...i think about life as like it has no meanig.. i think we don't have a purpose here...well i don't think i do atleast..i don't know if i just think this because iam weird...or what but i don't think i'm depressed...yeah some days i have my downs but who doesn't?
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • December 15, 2009
    • 03:50 PM
    • 0
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  • And then there's that interesting third kind of suicidal thought that I get about once a year when I'm driving on a highway. I look at the oncoming traffic and think, All I'd have to do is turn this steering wheel about 6 inches, and have a head-on collision with that other car, at speeds totaling 140 miles an hour. I have these exact same thoughts regularly. This leads me to believe that this is pretty common.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • December 15, 2009
    • 06:19 PM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
  • Well im 18, and I have alot of thoughts running through my head, and I feel like ssuicide is the only way out, but when im like this and i think about my friends and family I start to cry knowing that what it would do if I actually did it. like I feel like theres no future or I don't want there to be, I feel like im really stressed out and that I'm lonly with no one to listen to me. I snap easy and ill be quit, My parents thinks I'm on drugs, and I wanna be no were but in my room, and when I'm there all these feelings hit me. I have alot going for me, I race atv motocross at a pro level trying to chase my dream, I have good and supporting parents. I just dont know what im missing. I also feel empty inside like I need a special someone. But those also don't come easy for me. I've been looking for a real relationship for 4 years now. Every girl I talked I knew for a while and they never seemed to work out, and they never ended on a good term usally me being the hurt one in it. so these feelings been here for about 3 years now, and every time it gets bad, its worse. I just don't know what to do, This was my first semester at college and these feelings just got bad witch made me to drop in my grades. amd now I plan on not going back next semester, im just sick of feeling this way and beeing unhappy. Can anyone help me ?
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • December 21, 2009
    • 05:12 AM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
  • I feel just like you. I am sad and have these thoughts but I would never want to carry them out. I love my family- i love my boyfriend and wouldnt want to hurt them. My boyfriend studies psychology and he tells me to tell myself positive things even if it seems fake. Start by telling yourself Life is beautiful! These thoughts are not going to stop me! This will train your subconscious mind to think a different way. Also, my friend told me a good piece of advice- stop thinking about suicide, death will come to us all soon enough. It actually is true, time goes by soooooooo fast. We need to take advantage of this time here! Truth is, nothing anyone says will help you- i know because it hasn't helped me, you need to find the power within yourself. Life will bring many tribulations, this will just make you stronger.ps. What really helps me is praying, if you aren't religious maybe you should give it a try.Best of Luck.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • February 3, 2010
    • 10:10 PM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
  • Religion only strengthens your denial. This unfortunately just pulls you further from the truth and creates feelings of guilt when you find yourself stuck in the hands of depression or mental instability. If religion is the problem, but seeking it does not help, then obviously you just aren't being a good enough sheep?
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
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