Discussions By Condition: Male sexual conditions

Losing erection during sex

Posted In: Male sexual conditions 363 Replies
  • Posted By: Cooper22
  • January 25, 2007
  • 00:56 AM

Hi,

I am 22 years old and I have no trouble getting an erection during masturbation or foreplay. I can get really hard. However during sex I cannot maintain a really hard erection as I do during foreplay and masturbation. At some point I feel getting softer. Also sex does not feel very stimulating to my penis. I feel that I would never reach an orgasm no matter how long I continue. Partner seems to be enjoying it though. And if I attempt to stop, to change position or because penis was accidentally removed my erection is easily lost and without removing the condom it is hard to get it back.

I am really confused cause I know there is nothing wrong with me physically and mentally. I am a relaxed type of guy. no worries. i enjoy my life. I dont understand this.

Any advice and help is welcomed.

Thank you!

Cooper22

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  • well, im not exactly sure what to tell you, im in need of help for the same exact problem though. im 20 and im excellent physical condition. i also eat very healthy and i still can't seem to fix this. i think part of the problem is definately psychological and you kinda have to work your way through that part, you know the one where if you think for even a second that you're going down, you instantly go down? i just can't seem to get past it i guess. i mean i don't have the problem every time but its almost like 1 out of every 3 or 4. its just enough to make me frusterated with myself and i wonder if there is anything else that can be done about it, any info would be helpful. i did read a thing about strengthening the pc muscle, but im not certain how effective that might be
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • January 27, 2007
    • 04:17 AM
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  • Does anyone know if this is something that happens to alot of people?Copper22
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • January 28, 2007
    • 06:56 PM
    • 0
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  • Hi, yeah I'm 20 and getting pretty much exactly the same problem. I'm fine masturbating and getting an erection during foreplay, but when the time comes for penetration, it just drops. And yeah, just thinking about it for a second can cause it too. I know what you mean about fustrating, it's getting to be a serious problem for my partner and I. I feel relaxed, often more so than her, and we can mess about fine. Any help/suggestions would definately be appreciated, if it works for you guys, it'd probably work for me,Thanks,RandomStudent
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • February 6, 2007
    • 01:53 AM
    • 0
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  • Okay, to all the relaxed dudes out there - do you smoke pot? Marjuana use totally causes impotence and "soft" erections. If you stop smoking and take extra vit C you should not have anymore problems...Just a thought.DOM
    acuann 3,080 Replies
    • February 6, 2007
    • 03:03 AM
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  • You all are in too of a hurry love the ****y take your time get you a shot of alcohol , try listening to music , love the women with all you got. for get about sports and any other activities think about stroking the ****y slowly but surely....main thing is to relax and enjoy no hurries....
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • February 19, 2007
    • 06:23 PM
    • 0
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  • Why don't you just go to your doctor and get some medications for it???
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • February 19, 2007
    • 08:08 PM
    • 0
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  • I have some ideas, but I don't know which could help you. Did you eat shortly before having intercourse and had a lot of fat? Eat lean and have sex after 3 hours or so if possible. Minimize caffiene and stress. Obtain L-arginine 500mg and take on an empty stomach ideally, take 2-3 a day max, don't take if you have hepies. I hope this helps...:)
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • February 21, 2007
    • 05:10 PM
    • 0
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  • My man gets this too. He has always had this problem;even when he was younger. He said he usually stayed hard only when the girl gets on top but it doesnt work. He smokes weed and has some problems. He tries to say its me but i know its not because this has happened to him with every girl he has been with. Try exercising if you don't. Even some breathing exercises could work to calm yourself down. We take it slow and take our time and relax and that works fine for us. He sometimes gets soft but he has improved by relaxing. Smoking weed,stress, and a bad diet can be the cause of all of this.
    hypnotiq 3 Replies
    • February 26, 2007
    • 09:04 AM
    • 0
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  • Hey Cooper22, I had some another thoughts. Your comment "I would never reach an orgasm no matter how long I continue..." made me wonder if you are circumisized and if intercourse with a condom is just not giving you enough feeling. Have you tried putting some lube on the inside of the condom and or using the thinner type? Maybe you can also ask your girl to try contracting on you during intercourse. It also seems the wetter the better, to obtain the best feelings, do you think more lube might help? Hope one of these ideas help, please let us know....
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • February 26, 2007
    • 02:00 PM
    • 0
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  • This is quite funny, i have similar problems, i think the PC muscle thing might be a good idea and im sure it's psychological, so it is about gradually getting used to the idea that penetration is the way you get off because our minds are so used to the idea that masturbation/foreplay get's us off, that something that is usually less sensitive to the penis is not perceived as pleasurable.Ergo, it is about re-programming your mind to think differently about sex.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • Try having her give you a nice *******b before intercourse
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
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  • You didn't say how frequently to try to have sex, although at 22 it should matter a little less. You might just be tired. A major league pitcher needs a little rest now and then...What ever you do, stop wasting your sexual enegy on masturbation. If you're looking at ***n, stop doing that too. That might cure your problem.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • I'm 28 and started having this problem. It is almost always completely mental. Some days I am hard and can go for an hour with a stiff erection and others I am anxious about performing and I lose it. Here are some of the things you have to consider. 1. Normalize it for yourself. A lot of men struggle with this. You aren't the only one. 2. Reduce your anxiety any way you can. If you are a caffeine fiend and have anxiety. The caffeine is only enhancing the anxiety. Reduce it as well as the stress.3. Ask your partner to be patient and work with you. You have to start build positive associations in your mind with sex.4. Don't put sex on a pedestal. Remember sex is abundant.Medications are rarely ever needed. That is for those who have a real disorder of sorts and not something mental. I am not a doctor but what it sounds like, you will eventually do fine.
    MakingLoveToKarma 1 Replies Flag this Response
  • im 17 years old and have the same problem as many of the other guys on here, i can get an erection and hold it while forplay, but as soon as it comes to putting the condom on i just lose it and i cant seem to keep it up. this has happened before with my last partner but this was ok after trying for abou 10/15 mins, not only does it cause a problem with 'ruining the moment' but also causes embarressment on both parties....any help guys?? thanks
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • hi, i am 17 years old, and i have the same problem as many of the other guys on here, as soon as i go to put the condom on i lose my erection, i have heard that if the build up to sex takes to long that can in a way make it the wayy it is, i can easily stay erect durin foreplay just when it comes to the condom gonig on.any help guys?thanks
    north69 1 Replies Flag this Response
  • ***n.. we are all impotent.. i cant believe this man
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • This recently happened to me twice. Although I'm in my 30's, not 20's, but I'm not 50 or 60 though. Right now I'm blaming caffeine, the condom itself, and stress. It's never happened when I didn't use a condom and the feeling just wasn't there with this condom, and even when I took it off there was no saving it. I'm going to use polyurethene (sp?) next time to see if that helps. I used to use them and the feeling was great and they're a lot thinner, transfer heat better, etc... I'm also cutting out caffeine altogehter. As far as the stress....dunno.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • I have the same problem as a lot of you I guess. I'm 20 and have a lot of trouble keeping it up during sex. I can go for a month or two where everything will be just fine, but then something will go wrong once, and I won't be able to maintain an erection during sex for another week or so because I can't get it out of my head. It's clearly mental. My partner is not very supportive of the matter and I think it makes it a lot worse. Instead of working with me she just gets mad and makes me feel like I'm the only one this happens too. Clearly I'm not though. I guess if anything just relax though. This is the only way to get and stay hard; by not thinking about it.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • well, i have some other problem might be this one too. well i am 22 years old and yes i do have problems getting errection by myself for mastrubation. and with the partner i cant stay with her more than 2 mints or so. and i have sperm count 55 mml which is a low quantity what will be the problem?
    confusedhuby 1 Replies Flag this Response
  • There are a number of possible explanations. The first one, which is probably the most outandish for some, is the idea of homosexuality. Many times when patients come to a psychologist with issues like this, they eventually get to the bottom of the issue and find that the individual simply isn't attracted the the opposite sex in a real sense, and hence they can't keep up the erection.Moving beyond that, it could simply be the experience itself. Perhaps your partner isn't that great at sex and so you aren't getting off on it. From personal experience, if the other person isn't doing a good job, I will also loose the erection, even at foreplay. If you don't feel comfortable then you can't be expected to feel sexual much less remain aroused. If you're not in a serious relationship and the sex isn't doing anything for you, consider a new relationship-many times problems in the bedroom are where problems with the relationship begins. Even if the other person is satisfied the fact is you aren't, and that can eventually present itself in other ways such as cheating. If you like the relationship you are in then you need to make it clear to the other person that you're not getting as much out of sex as they are. Perhaps get a book or watch some videos to try and find new positions or techniques. Performance anxiety can be another problem. Don't think about how you're doing, just do what feels natural and if possible, what the other person likes. Too many people second-guess their own performance and that can kill the sex drive. Don't focus on your erection or it WILL decrease- it's anxiety related. If you focus your attention on something then you will be more aware of it. If you think or "know" your erection will go down then it will, end of story.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
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