Discussions By Condition: I cannot get a diagnosis.

mental breakdown??? how long does it take to get over it??

Posted In: I cannot get a diagnosis. 13 Replies
  • Posted By: taniaaust1
  • April 21, 2008
  • 10:22 AM

I kind of lost it a few weeks back, things just got all too much for me so I fled into the bush, I just felt like I couldnt handle ANY stress at all.

I was away from home for 3 weeks, ran away from everyone and everything. (in that time thou I did go into a town and hence was still using internet at times..but that was why I wasnt here much).

A friend (the only one I kept in contact with).. got so concerned that he made me go to the hospital.. where they didnt want me to leave so kept me in.. but I demanded to be allowed to leave very early the next morning (as i just wasnt able to sleep at all in a hospital enviroment.. and they kept me up all night.. waiting to see doctor.. so i got P*ssed off as that isnt how someone with Chronic fatigue syndrome should be treated.. if way over tired.. I end up not being able to sleep at all).

Anyway.. Im a little bit better.. not doing crazy, dangerous things now.. but today, I found out that Im still unable to deal with any stress at all (and hence nearly run away again). It's been weeks since I did a thing (due to being away.. but I still right now have dishes in my sink which have been there a month). I havent even bothered to look at my mail or bills in that time.

How long does it take for a person to get over what must be a breakdown of some kind?????? Im just feeling too "weak" mentally.. to be dealing with any stressors of any kind. Is it likely that im just going to come out of this state soon??????

(Im not feeling depressed no more.. it's just that I dont want to be bothered about anything.. i just dont feel like I can handle anything stressful.. hence still avoiding EVERYTHING which may stress me. including many friends).

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13 Replies:

  • Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. I think feeling like you can't handle any stress is your mind's way of giving you the break you need. When we feel depressed and stressed and it can be tempting to keep pushing ourselves to getting on with things. Your mind is simply saying "stop". I don't know how long it will take you to get over this, but I think you need to just go with the flow and try and accept that this is what you need to do at the moment. By the way is there someone who can help you with practical problems without involving you e.g. someone who will open your mail and deal with urgent things on your behalf, wash up your dishes, etc? Preferably someone who you could email and who won't hassle you? My partner has bipolar and at times of depression has also had a breakdown and not wanted to deal with anything. Sometimes it has taken weeks, sometimes months to recover enough to be involved in day to day things.
    ruth40 55 Replies Flag this Response
  • Hi Tania, sorry ur not feeling to good, i noticed u wherent about so much, i was wondering if u where okay. It takes quite a while to reach the point where u brake down, so equally it will take time to recover, its not going to happen overnight. There is another way of looking at it.....it could really be called a "brake through" rather than a "brake down"......why i say this is simply.........things havent been working for u maybe the way it should be......... that has taken u to this point where u come to a halt & in ur case run away.........avoidance of things when ur in the state is understandable. So the "brake through"........first of all dont be to ******n urself, give urself a brake.......then figure out why u have got to this point......then figure out where u want to be......then its the middle bit u have to do to get to where u want to be. U can only deal with one thing at a time.......it would be good if u could ask ur friend to help u with this.......its a good idea to make a list & cross one thing off at a time......each day set urself a goal, just one thing....like do the dishes....lol:D.......slowly but surely if u take one step at a time u will start to improve & build up confidence. Tania there is so much i could help u with & talk u through if u want me too.........i dont want to go on at u as maybe ur not ready for this yet. Let me know.....in the mean time be gentle on urself, u can beat this & get ur life back on track....it just takes time. Best wishes :) hugs A good book to read is "Feel The Fear & Do It Anyway" by susan jeffers .....I highly reccommend this book to help get ur life back on track !
    Tootsie 628 Replies Flag this Response
  • thanks both of you... are you a counsellor tootsie? My big issue has been no one to turn too when i need to turn to someone... all my friends and family etc.. are all too busy with their own families and issues.. so i just dont have anyone to help me when i need it etc. This breakdown would of been completely avoidable if I had someone to help me deal with some of the issues in my physical life. I could see where I was heading...but just couldnt do a thing about it. I tried to get help from friends and my social worker...but was abandoned. (my social worker told me that too much time had been used on my case.. she'd spent 9 hrs in past several mths, trying to help me sort out government mess im in (they have been threatening me cause i was made to work part time when very ill and hence couldnt keep records for tax (lost my fine motor skills for writing and was dyslexic for a time.. anyway.. not keeping records is illegal).. . That's only one mess Im currently in cause of the Chronic fatigue syndrome. I also need to move house cause I go unconsicous in this one due to it being very unsuitable for me due to my illness.. just gets too hot for me to handle, (needing to move house is a HUGE thing for someone with CFS who dont have much help at all). Government housing dept thou, who i rent from.. has ignored my doctors letters and said they werent good enough and to tell doctor to do another letter.. and that has doctors back up.. so he wants them to write to him.. in the meantime im in middle of everything. Anyway.. I have so many issues going which Im in the middle of and not capable of dealing with myself.. which lead to all this.............. i just did my dishes today and cleaned house (im okay doing those things thou really didnt feel like doing them as it seems pointless... im by myself and a home isnt a home to me without having a family, i detest being in this so called home as always here alone.. just reminds me of just how alone I am). Anyway.. im capable of cleaning etc.. cause that just isnt stressful. It's anything stressful i cant really deal with. i wish there was someone who could just go throu all the mail for this month for me.. and burn any stressful letters which may be there. Im not even looking at it, in case there is something which will stress me there eg my counsellor.. telling me i need to deal with tax dept. Im now avoiding her as she was pushing me to do things I wasnt capable of doing. (i went to tax office alone last month and ended up throwing all my stuff at the tax person.. folder and all.. cause I got harrassed yet again there and just couldnt deal). Tootsie.. im not sure how you could help me? cause right now im feeling like i need more than just someone talking, advising me. i've gone past that point. Im really needing someone to step in and deal with some of my stuff for me now. Thanks for the encouragement that i will slowly get over this... that is good to hear :) (I dont feel depressed.. just utterly overwhelmed when anything stressful occurs).
    taniaaust1 2,267 Replies Flag this Response
  • Hi Tania,I am sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time right now. I was wondering about you and am glad you still post here. We care about you. It sounds like you need someone actually physically present to help you, which none of us here can provide, sadly :(. I'm wondering if you are religious at all? If so, then maybe joining a church, temple, mosque, etc would help (although it sounds like your fatigue will make it challenging to go to services). Alternatively, are there any CFS support groups you can go to?There's some other sites that I have found helpful, such as Braintalk and Neurotalk... although they are on-line too and can't really come over and help you out with the stuff you really need assistance with (sorry you don't feel supported by your friends, family, social worker).There's some Christian sites out there, too, such as Joni and Friends (for the disabled); Rest Ministries (for the chronically ill); and the Hour of Power (for everyone, especially those who are too ill to go to church)...I've also found the New Earth book by Eckhart Tolle (and the online class with Oprah) very helpful.Of course, none of these are people who can actually help you out in person. I hope you start feeling better (about your circumstances at least) soon. It is so incredibly difficult to deal with the day-to-day stuff when you are chronically ill- and sometimes friends and family just can't understand. I'm convinced that the fatigue seen in CFS is the horrible "central fatigue" seen in MS and considered its most disabling symptom. I hope you can give yourself praise for doing even the "smallest" things, such as the dishes. You can only do one small thing at a time, with rest in between to reflect on what a wonderful person you are.Best Wishes and Hugs :)
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • Hi Tania, Im not a counsellor, anything i know is from experiences & things i have gone through & overcome....so it kinda makes me more qualified than text book counsellors....lol.....it is something i have great experience in & have voluntarily worked closely with 4 people, some in the way u need at the moment.......we all have strength & weaknesses & this would be one of my strengths.....for this reason if someone needs help with something they come to me......they think i talk sence.....lol I feel its very worth while doing as i am living proof that things can be beaten.......im kinda the end result.....which i think is kind of good as when i was in the same spot u are in now i knew no-one as a survivor to set my sights on and there where many times i didnt think it was possible to ever overcome.....but it can be ! Elke has covered some of the questions i was going to ask u regarding support organisations.....volunteers ? Regarding ur tax......well all i can tell u regarding this is if u get angry they will not work with you...............i will tell u a bit of my experience with this & it worked..........A number of years back i was in the same position, i was in a mess & didnt know how or have the energy to cope with it, i wasnt well like u & let things slide, kept putting it off & saying i will deal with it tomorrow, & of course tomorrow never came, doing this only lets the problem grow in ur head.....eventually after a few years (yes thats how long i let it go on) I rang the tax office told them i was in a mess & if they wanted to jail me they could.....lol.....actually i was really humble over this & upset, they worked with me, luckly for me i had thrown receipts & things aside in a box, i went with these & bank statements to an accountant told him the same......he laughed & said it cant be that bad, he sorted it out for me................the relief was amazing ! My point here is show them ur vulnerable, show them ur humble, tell them ur not well & struggling, tell them ur so worried & u want to sort it out......u could also cry at this point :D..........theyre human............its hardly like ur a major tax evader with asset's all over the place. Think about it............if someone came to u & they come across angry or aggressive u wouldnt be as helpful as u could be....theyre the same ! Also get on to ur doctor & tell him ur beat & need his/her support ! Look whats the worst they can do to u ? if they lock u up, well ull be fed & watered & hopefully have airconditioned cell....lol The trouble with avoiding things is they will grow bigger in ur head. Look i know u say u dont feel depressed at the min but believe me avoidance of things is still a sign......its head in sand which means your bums in the air, that position will make it look big.....lol:D I wish i could physically help u, all i can do is support & encourage u. As to family well familys can be a joke & many are not helpful, my own wheren't but i got through in spite of them.....i lost count of the number of times i saw my own mother drive past......ive many horror stories regarding them........but i got through & with a daughter in toe whom i love to bits, we're very close, she has done well, she a deputy sister on a cardiac ward now.......ya can kinda tell im proud of her......lol Sorry im rambling now....................Tania u can do this......one step at a time ! Big Hugs (if only hugs could cure all ails id hug the world) lol:)
    Tootsie 628 Replies Flag this Response
  • Regarding ur tax......well all i can tell u regarding this is if u get angry they will not work with you...............i will tell u a bit of my experience with this & it worked..........A number of years back i was in the same position, i was in a mess & didnt know how or have the energy to cope with it, i wasnt well like u & let things slide, kept putting it off & saying i will deal with it tomorrow, & of course tomorrow never came, doing this only lets the problem grow in ur head.....eventually after a few years (yes thats how long i let it go on) I rang the tax office told them i was in a mess & if they wanted to jail me they could.....lol.....actually i was really humble over this & upset, they worked with me, luckly for me i had thrown receipts & things aside in a box, i went with these & bank statements to an accountant told him the same......he laughed & said it cant be that bad, he sorted it out for me................the relief was amazing ! Tootsie.. lol kind of funny that you were in the same boat with tax dept. I left it (as i really had no choice but to before.. i was just far too ill) so it was left for a few years. My problem is that i couldnt just leave it in a tax agents hands as I CANT EVEN REMEMBER WHEN AND WHERE I WORKED!! and I dont have any receipts etc. (if i had all that.. things would be easy). I tried the polite thing with them for 9 mths.. even had my social worker go there with me and ringing them.. only to be told that they couldnt help us!! (cause i was self employed.. they will only help ones who were working for another). Hence why my social worker spent so much time.. trying to help. Hence why I ended up blowing up.. believe me.. they just wouldnt help (they wouldnt even provide someone for my social worker to talk too..and just told her she would have to ring..and she got different advice and different people.. each time she rang)..they gave my socialworker the run about too. (Final straw for me was when I found out all that the social worker was helping me with for the 9 hrs of sessions Ive had with her, was wrong, cause they gave her the wrong advice!) nods.. yeah i've told my social worker that the tax dept can just go ahead and jail me, I dont care any more. (They truely didnt care.. social worker told them I was very ill.. i even nearly passed out completely at tax dept..and ended up on thier floor, too dizzy to sit..to which tax dept people then got worried and started bringing me water and asking if i was okay.. I was laying on their floor for almost an hr, too sick to even be able to listen to the phone disscussion my social worker was having with others in tax dept over my case.. (yeah sure.. my social worker had already told them just how sick I was..but they ignored it!).. but Im still getting letters and harrassed with threats by them). That was the last thing I told her (before I stopped speaking to her cause she was harrassing me about the tax.. and right now I just cant stand even thinking about it). Im not christian (so dont go seeking support there).. but I do have a lot of online friends etc.. but that only helps so much.. just talking to people dont help all the trouble im in. Nothing i can really do without support right now (otherwise I will just go and breakdown completely again..and this isnt neg. thinking as I know this will happen.. im still on the edge). Things will just have to wait until i can cope with them.. (as there is no one else to do them).
    taniaaust1 2,267 Replies Flag this Response
  • The trouble with avoiding things is they will grow bigger in ur head. umm not really.. my coping mechanism is to block things out..and i do that very well. I hardly remember any of my childhood at all cause I blocked it all out (others have to tell me about my childhood). If i dont block and cant deal.. well then I react. I have borderline personality disorder which when I suddenly get upset with something which has triggered... well then I do dumb things eg sudden suicide attempt..or something which could kill me as like a cry for help (or just a way to express how emotionally bad I feel eg filling a bin up with blood, self bleed myself to represent that I feel like Im bleeding or dying..this kind of thing happens when Im triggered.. it may sound dumb but in such crises situations it actually helps me to feel better.. acting how I feel ..instead of blocking at those times). (This time I just ran away instead). Avoiding and blocking things...is my current coping ability..and if i dont currently do that right now.. well I'll be really stuffed and I could end up harming or killing myself (I dont feel like doing that right now..as Im happy right now..no stress right now, no one near me, no one right at this moment harrassing me..so all's fine :) ..but under pressure, i get real bad). I just dont know of another way to cope when Im so sensitive to things.
    taniaaust1 2,267 Replies Flag this Response
  • . I'm convinced that the fatigue seen in CFS is the horrible "central fatigue" seen in MS and considered its most disabling symptom. Best Wishes and Hugs :) thanks. CFS isnt just about fatigue and for many of us.. it isnt the fatigue which incapitates many of us..rather than the whole symptom complex which does. It's one of the myths most CFSers would like to see shattered. What stops us doing things..isnt just the fatigue..it's the whole "sickness" feel (the dizziness, head exploding pressure feel, pain, loss of ability to focus entirely, feeling so so unwell etc etc). The fatigue is about 5th or 6th on my list of incapitating symptoms.
    taniaaust1 2,267 Replies Flag this Response
  • Hi, I have found unless you have got a really understanding family,it can take a really long time to get better, I was in a stange town(large housing estate) with alot of trouble.supporting my ill self and five children. I was at the stage were I was missing so many emotions I couldn,t even function enough to get help with any services.Also people see you looking fine and I don,t think it sinks in that you are very ill,maybe for a short while but as it takes years to get over a breakdown,people get sick of hearing it. I don't think anyone realises the impact it has on a persons life.So the question,like everything some people take longer than others,depending on the love and repsect you get,and whether your good at sorting your head out. Im not particulary religious but I found out reading about spirituality helped me a lot and meditation, clearing your mind or just visualising your self as being better,and achieving what you want to. Positive behaviour breeds more possitivity ,Good Luck,you will get thereKatisha xx
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • August 30, 2008
    • 09:51 PM
    • 0
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  • HiI went through a break down 7 yrs ago after getting out of a relationship with a not very nice man. I had my daughter to lookafter a house to run work fulltime and just let things get on top of me. I couldn't sleep and powered my self with ***s & coffee/tea not a good. I felt as though i was in a very deep hole and couldn't get out. My parents had me sectioned and i spent 28 days in hospital the staff were brilliant and so were most of the patients who most of were there through no fault of there own. I promised my self that i would never put myself back there but this time last year i did it again i don't know how i got there. I found that councelling only helps if you are willing to talk openly about yourself to a complete stranger it must be very hard for you with your condition. I surround myself with animals as they are good listeners and don't interupt mid sentence,but when you have a convo with a dog in the middle of the park people tent to look at you a bit funny (ah well how gives a S**t LOL). Talking is the best way out of it am going through a bit of a ruff patch at the mo had a bit of bad news after a recent operation but hey lifes a B**ch. I am lucky that my partner takes care of all the finances and i just ask when i need something but being on your own isn't good. It is good to have a handful of trust worthy friends that can help with the stressful stuff over here we don't have to worry about filling taxes so i'm lucky in that respect. I hope you are feeling better as reading your thread made me think of myself back there in a very cold dark place. Take careBigbird :D
    bigbird1975 10 Replies
    • August 31, 2008
    • 06:08 AM
    • 0
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  • thanks for both of your posts. Bigbird.. i hope things get beer for you soon ((hugs)). I need to update this post. After my last post here on this thread .. well things did get much worst for me.. and I couldnt deal with the things which were happening... couldnt face them and couldnt physically deal either due to all my medical conditions. I was on the edge so much, that a major negative event which I couldnt fac, (I was in the state of avoidence as I truely just couldnt mentally handle any more stress!), threw me over that edge I'd been trying not to topple over and I then purposely drove my car into a building. At that point I was detained by the police and taken to hospital in ambulance.. and then had a few day stay in mental ward. Amazingly, they were going to release me straight from the hospital same day as I wasnt depressed (just had been stressed out), as I was fine again immediately after I drove into the building, that in itself ..the high from being so carefree to just drive into it, was a stress reliver. I had to actually beg them to keep me in or I would of done something else stupid. After few days in mental ward.. I finally got offically diagnosed with another condition I already knew I had on top of all my other things, (borderline personality disorder.. hence I cant handle intense stress..and I feel things very strongly.. the emotional liability of CFS has gone so intense it's now BPD). Im completely fine now again :) . Since my last post I've found a new group of friends who are very supportive of me and hence have been giving me the help, I was needing in my life so it's not so much of a struggle. Ive finally got people I can rely on when needed! I are a very positive person..so with the very needed help.. I did bounce back fast (took me a couple of weeks) after that complete breakdown where i drove into the building. (i still do now need to go to court for that eg property damage etc etc but I know I'll have support when that happens).
    taniaaust1 2,267 Replies
    • August 31, 2008
    • 00:11 PM
    • 0
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  • Glad things are working out for you being on the ward really helped me i also got as bad as you and walked up the road and stood infront of an on coming car which was when i was carted into my dads car taken to hospital pinned down by 4 men and drugged up to my eyeballs can't remember the first 3 days of being there. Can laugh about it to myself now but nobody understands where i was in my head at the time. Take care of yourself will be here if you ever need a chat Bigbird:p
    bigbird1975 10 Replies
    • August 31, 2008
    • 08:29 PM
    • 0
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  • If you practice EFT, you can gain control of your emotions once again. Study it like your life depends on it and good luck: http://www.emofree.com/
    Monsterlove 2,921 Replies
    • September 1, 2008
    • 00:02 AM
    • 0
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