Grew up with a huge amount of trauma which led to post traumatic stress syndrome and a myriad of other mental issues. That left me a ripe candidate for drug and alcohol abuse. Have been abusing and using over 30 years. Have genetic disposition as well on BOTH sides of family addiction. Both my father and maternal grandmother were hardcore alcoholics. Neither ever stopped drinking. Instead they died.
So now at age 57, have starting having seizures. At first I thought it was related to my heavy drinking, but had a moment of clarity and now know they are clonic seizures related to atrial fibrillation. Multiple times during my day get this wave of vertigo/sinking sensation that I have to snap out of. But some episodes come with no warning. Am afraid to go out because last few trips, I had to struggle against passing out.
My father died from a combination of medical malpractice and impaired liver function. Am DEATHLY afraid of going to the hospital, and would be in a horrible way if forced to do so.
For a while I thought I might have 10 more years, but now with this am wondering - five? Less?