Discussions By Condition: Sexual conditions

Wife has no sexual desire

Posted In: Sexual conditions 4 Replies
  • Posted By: RodneyMaine
  • June 25, 2008
  • 06:16 AM

My wife and I have been married for 3 years and prior to my wifes pregnancy in 05-06, we had what I would consider a healthy sex life (at least 1-2 weekly) now maybe 1-2 every 2-3 months.

My wife seems to have "ZERO" sexual desire. We've had sex and done various sexual things but everytime it's been after I've made the move. Only 1 time in the last 2 years has she made the first move. I've wanted to say something for sometime now but my wife is very good at making things my fault.

Has anyone else experienced this or something similar?

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4 Replies:

  • She could be really tired. Have her get a thyroid blood test, along with a battery of hormonal functions. Talk to her.
    Monsterlove 2,921 Replies Flag this Response
  • You said she was pregnant, so maybe it is just that she is overwhelmed, after having the baby, with stress and you should just straight up ask her what's up. Maybe she is just tired. Could be to underactive thyroid.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • A lot of women loose their sex drives after having a baby. Its some sort of medical thing. They can also loose it after having a hysterectomy, or dramatic experience.Did she change her diet any? Did something inside her get sent to the baby when it was born, and she hasn't got enough of it back in her diet yet?I know when women give birth, they send Omega 3 to the baby, and if they don't have enough left for themselves, they suffer post birth depression. Maybe something like that is going on.Or just the hormones in the body change. You should search around for that, and then see a doctor if need be.
    Wolf Dreamer 20 Replies Flag this Response
  • Yep, That's life for you. What evolutionary sense would it make for settled down mother to be especially lusty all the time? Nevertheless, I suggest, with absolutely no authority, a few ideas I hope can help:1. Exercise! If you are in great cardiovascular and muscular shape, sex is a completely elevated experience for everybody involved. That goes for her too. Chances of sex with a partner go WAY up after exercising together. Show care for all of your body and hers. (grooming, clothes, especially nice smelling soaps or lotions). If you started going to yoga class and taking walks together, chancing are you'd be fXXXing after a while.2. Sex it up! Talk about sex in life. Or even the importance of touch and continued affection. Ask her opinions of the sexiness of this or that person, dress, etc. Invite yourself to be more physically affectionate in general. Talk about your own sexual desires as they arise, (why repress ALL of them?.) Be open to her sexual interest in others or before you, to ensure that communication is free.3. Ask outright! It makes sense that you don't want to ask "why don't you...," but you can talk about how much you enjoyed sex before, how your desires have not really changed. She might feel defensive or even catastrophically so about this, so make sure you make clear that you are not complaining asking for anything - use a tactic such as "remember how great is was when we..." Anyway I'd take that issue resolved rather than being frustrated all the time about something as important as sex.If all that fails, do whatever the ***l is necessary to be happy. If she won't talk about not having sex with her, I don't think you have to talk about you having sex with others, if it comes to that. You get one chance on earth to perform, then, you're dust.Unfortunately I noticed once, that some birth control pills, like those for women with migraines, can severely impair a sexual relationship.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
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