Discussions By Condition: Sexual conditions

Loss of erection

Posted In: Sexual conditions 3 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • January 19, 2009
  • 00:04 PM

My 32 year old boyfriend (completely healthy, no medical problems) loses his erection during sex. Most of the time we have extremely good sex (we have been together for a month and are in love with each other), but once in a while he will not be able to hold an erection, despite the fact that he is aroused. Needless to say, it's an issue that makes him stressed. My question is whether an issue like this is psychological or bodily in its nature, as I tend to believe that it is psychological. I mean, if there was a bodily problem, I guess that this would happen all the time? I want to help and I don't know how to go about it. What is usually the cause of this? Can it be addressed somehow?
Thank you for your time!

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3 Replies:

  • Did he say anything about it when it happened? Did he feel embarrassed, said it never happened before, etcAlso, is he anxious around you or feels that you may be more dominant or experienced in bed?Is he working a lot, stressed about work, has heart problems, smokes, etc?It would be good if you provided us with some additional info, so we could speculate about what it could be.
    Helene99 23 Replies
    • January 21, 2009
    • 02:02 PM
    • 0
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  • Thank you Helene for getting back to me. Actually, the two first times that we tried to have sex in the beginning of our relationship didn't work out, so I was almost convinced that there is a problem. I've tried to make him relaxed and more or less indicate that it may take some time for us to get easy around each other and also never initiated sex, because I was afraid that it would make him feel uncomfortable. He indicated that he had problems of this sort before and this is why he feels stressed about it. Somehow it feels almost as a vicious circle...From that point onwards, we started having really good sex, both when it comes to duration and quality. But once in a while (on average, I don't know, maybe once in every 5 times) we will have this same problem. He feels really enbarassed about it, despite the fact that I tried to explain to him that things like this will happen, as we are not machines. Re. the rest of your questions, I am a little bit more experienced, but not dominant. From what he says, sometimes I realize that he has low self esteem. He has no medical conditions, has normal weight, smokes (around 1 package and even more/day) and is currently overworked, thinking about resigning. We usually have sex at the end of a very long day. I don't know if this helps at all, but I would appreciate any feedback!
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • January 22, 2009
    • 08:13 AM
    • 0
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  • Thank you Helene for getting back to me. Actually, the two first times that we tried to have sex in the beginning of our relationship didn't work out, so I was almost convinced that there is a problem. I've tried to make him relaxed and more or less indicate that it may take some time for us to get easy around each other and also never initiated sex, because I was afraid that it would make him feel uncomfortable. He indicated that he had problems of this sort before and this is why he feels stressed about it. Somehow it feels almost as a vicious circle...From that point onwards, we started having really good sex, both when it comes to duration and quality. But once in a while (on average, I don't know, maybe once in every 5 times) we will have this same problem. He feels really enbarassed about it, despite the fact that I tried to explain to him that things like this will happen, as we are not machines. Re. the rest of your questions, I am a little bit more experienced, but not dominant. From what he says, sometimes I realize that he has low self esteem. He has no medical conditions, has normal weight, smokes (around 1 package and even more/day) and is currently overworked, thinking about resigning. We usually have sex at the end of a very long day. I don't know if this helps at all, but I would appreciate any feedback! Hi Lenna, You may have answered the question in that paragraph. We usually have sex at the end of a very long day. Fatigue can be the great deflator. Smoking decreases circulation. Alcohol can cause problems if that is present. Anxiety can be a factor. Distraction can be a problem. Vitamin b12 deficiency can be a problem but usually there are other problems too. Keep track of circumstances for a while. Diabetes can be a factor. Neuropathy can be a factor. Heart disease can be too. Having an up to date physical and discussing it with a doc can help. Some samples of Viagra or Cialis might be availble and could help. Good luck.
    Freddd 3576 Replies Flag this Response
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