I'm 20 years old and I am really longing for a child.
I've always liked working with kids but for the past few years my biological clock has been ticking so loud it's deafening.
First off I just want to say that I'm not intending to get pregnant, I just need to talk about this because I feel like I'm going crazy.
I don't have a particularly great job right now but I'm working on getting a degree and then a better paid job should be a lot easier to find.
It seems that everyone around me is getting pregnant and having children. In the past two years there have been 15 pregnancies/births within my relatively small circle of friends (yes, I counted, it's THAT bad), and a lot of them are younger than me.
It makes me so angry that I really, REALLY want a child yet my friends didn't plan for it (or avoid it as I have) and now they have what I want.
I'm starting to feel bitter and resentful when I see pregnant women in the street, I avoid friends who have children and sometimes (particularly during my 'time of the month') I get so frustrated about it that I cry.
I'm terrified that the time will never come for me, or that I'll become infertile or something like that, I've talked to my mother about this but I haven't opened up too much 'cause she thinks that it's just normal broodiness.
She tells me it's a lot harder than I could ever imagine and I believe her, obviously I don't understand it having never been in that predicament myself, but I do BELIEVE her.
My mother was a lone parent so I've seen her struggle, I've seen my friend's struggle with night time feeds and teething and low income... But the feeling doesn't go away.
I know it would be difficult but I've become so preoccupied with it that it's clouding every other aspect of my life.
It's making me feel pretty reckless really, I'm tempted to just go ahead and do it. I know I shouldn't but I feel like I need to.
Help me please.