I'm new to this forum. But I don't even know what state I'm in. Kinda hard to talk about my sexual life, but I dont know where to go to get it off my chest.. When it comes to sex, or the aftermath lets say. I panic about every little thing. I'm not that sexual active at all.
Around four encounters. Every counter I got checked in a heartbeat. Even when I lost my virginity. I panic, and raced to the emergency room after reading about stds.
I imagine the worst scenario, specially with herpes. I just freak out.
Just recently 11 days ago to be exact.. This one girl I barley knew well she gave me oral for like 2 minutes. Then panic, I even started to sweat like in a sauna, and made up some excuse to stop.
Then the next day. I don't know just felt different maybe it was all in my head. I had this kinda not painful, but something like tingle or something was on the tip of my penis kinda feeling. Couldent sleep at all one night, just thinking about it.
Then as days went by, like out of no where. I had this slight moment kinda pain like something was being shoved up my penis. Then the next moment it's gone like nothing happened. Like a tingle feeling.
Kinda embarrassed or awkward of myself talking about masturbating. But I wanted to test to see if anything was different reading on STDs. I was just like turned off, like fearing what would happen. But when I did ejaculate. Nothing happened.
Then when I got out of the shower, I noticed three red spots on my penis. They didn't hurt, just same feeling you touching normal skin. Fearing its herpes. When I was getting cheeked. My heart racing, becoming really like psyked out. Even the doctor told me it might be herpes. Told me if any pimples show up then go back.
As days passed, their like 80% disappeared now. But two felt like scrapes, one looked bruised. But noticed three red spots where kinda like grip shape, like where my hand was.
But after I got checked. With the doctor sticking the cue tip up my shaft. Just felt more tingle feelings afterward. I have no itching either. Then when I piss it dosent sting, or burn. Just feels more warmer than usual. Then next piss feels like normal.
Another thing I kinda feel hot headed. I don't know if I got a fever, or its because humid hot air here. I even check my temperture its floating around 94-95 F. Specially in this one stuffy room im in. I don't know whats happening.
The last 11 days, they said for herpes its like 2 weeks. So I have like 3 days to go. As days it draws nearer to the 14th, I become more fearful. Like the walls closing in, no hope. I've gone through every almost anxiety symptom listed. But the same symtons that STDS list. Can the warning symptoms for STD's be the same as anxiety symptoms?
I don't really want to eat. I can't sleep half of the time. Like literally my eyes are open, heart racing. I have to watch comedy shows to calm me down so I can sleep. Fearing like I wake up the next mourning with pimples or having painful skin.
Feel like the lowest of the low part of my life. Like that sink empty feeling, like nothing there. Feeling like a stock market crash, losing all your billions. My eyes kinda hurt sorta, I even my hands sweat. I have aces in my muscles. But I do have a problem with my leg. I'm just relying on faith, prying like no other. That this is nothing. I'm just begging. Do I have a major anxiety/allergy problem?
But anxiety dosent explain for the tingle feelings, nor the me feeling hot inside. Just want your 2 cents.