Discussions By Condition: Sexual conditions

frigidity

Posted In: Sexual conditions 6 Replies
  • Posted By: greenland
  • April 10, 2008
  • 07:53 AM

I am married and i have frigidity. My husband is aware of it.
What are the causes?
Is there any treatment ?

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6 Replies:

  • It could be a deeply rooted childhood trauma. It would take a very understanding and patient man. Do you really want to live that way for the rest of your life? Maybe his sex technique is really bad and it's not you, but your partner. It's hard to say. You need to make some choices as to whether you want to destroy your marriage and live single...maybe you made a bad choice. Maybe you feel like you are controlling the marriage if you refuse sex. Maybe your brain isn't thinking right. Maybe you're afraid. Maybe your hormones are messed up. Maybe you have an anatomy problem. You know the answers. Make some choices to be happy.
    Monsterlove 2921 Replies Flag this Response
  • There are many reasons why you may not have interest in sex as Monsterlove has pointed out. My question is when did you first notice this? How old are you? Is there stress in your life? Were you ever abused or raped?A little more information would be of help. I know this is very personal to you, but that's why the Internet is great. You can talk about things and never give up who you are. :)Beth
    Beth56 272 Replies Flag this Response
  • Thanks to all of you for your replies and try to helpi'll answer your questions : when did you first notice this? As soon as i started having sex after getting married ( i didn't have any before).How old are you? I am 27.Is there stress in your life?Yes, there is.Were you ever abused or raped?No, i were not. I hope these answers may help.
    greenland 1 Replies Flag this Response
  • "It must be understood that sexuality involves a complex set of emotions and behaviors, ranging from romance and feelings of closeness and security, to feelings of sensuality and desire. Intimacy has no switch that can be flipped on when one partner wishes to become intimate, and usually the setting and situation must feel right and comfortable before both partners can enjoy it."With that said, I think a good place to start would be to make an appointment with your gynecologist for a physical. Find a female doctor if you are more comfortable as you need to discuss what is going on. You must make sure there is no physical or hormonal reasons for this. Stress, anxiety and medications can also be part of the cause.But most of the time, lack of communication between partners is the root of the cause or lack of appropriate stimulation from your partner. Having a caring partner that makes you feel safe and secure helps as will an openness to discuss what is going on. Needs, experience and expectations don't always match between couples. Perhaps some education would also help. There are many books on the subject and can be ordered via Internet and delivered to your door.Beyond that, I would say you may need to meet with a therapist who is trained in sexual dysfunction. No need to feel embarrassed by any of this as there are plenty of people with these problems.I wish you well and that you find what helps you. Beth
    Beth56 272 Replies Flag this Response
  • Hi, my deepest sympathy, I'm the same age, and am a bit on the fridgid side. I have talked with my fiancee about my lack of desire and feelings surrounding sex. He was very supportive and I have found that with his support and encouragement I have been able to relax a bit more and become more comfortable with my body and my sexuality. I don't know if it is the same for you but I felt that sex was somehow dirty or slightly wrong and for me to realy enjoy it or to seek it made me trampy. My advice is talk to your husband about it, without getting emotional and ask him for his help and insite. Also I found that a big first step for me was to say yes even if I don't feel like it, and have no expectation. It takes more time and energy to make excuses, and I found if I just hop into bed and start making love the desire follows.Good luck!
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • I have to ask a question - do you masterbate? Do you become aroused in any other situations - either by yourself, with him, via fantasies, etc...? Have you ever had an orgasm?
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
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