Discussions By Condition: Sexual conditions

female, 23 years old, scared of sex

Posted In: Sexual conditions 0 Replies
  • Posted By: oldernotwiser
  • January 30, 2010
  • 05:17 PM

Hi, I'm 23 years old and I am still technically a virgin. It's not that I've never had the opportunity, but the two times I've tried to have full sex in the past (with different guys, neither my boyfriend), they couldn't get inside me.
These sexual encounters werent romantic. Me and the guy were drunk both times, and even though I had known the guys before, it always had a one-night-stand feel. I didn't think i was that nervous (being drunk and turned on), it just didn't happen. It was like iwas too small
The guys didn't ever comment on it - I think they were so drunk they thought it was their fault. But I know it's mine, and I've been terrified of trying again because I don't see how the situation could have improved since I last tried having sex, and I don't want to be embarrassed.
I have been to the doctor, and told her i thought I might have vaginismus. But she conducted a quick exam and told me that I didn't have it as she could get two fingers inside and I just needed to relax more. But I don't see that happening any time soon! I have also tried dilators but can't get anything big inside without a lot of discomfort

Has anyone else been in this situation? If it's not vaginismus, how come it didn't work the first time? And what's the difference between vaginimus and just being scared of sex so that penetration is not possible (the guys were not even able to get far enough in for it to be painful. it just didn't happen so we gave up/passed out)

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