Discussions By Condition: Sexual conditions

Chlamydia.... did he cheat?

Posted In: Sexual conditions 6 Replies
  • Posted By: confusedgal2009
  • June 15, 2009
  • 09:05 PM

Ok, I went to the ER about 6 weeks ago for pelvic pain and was diagnosed with chlamydia. Dr confirmed that my std test while pregnant back in 2007 was all negative. Confronted boyfriend. He swears up and down he never ever cheated on me. And i never cheated on him. So I start looking stuff up, and discover that false negatives and false positives are possible. So I'm figuring at this point, either this test was wrong, and I don't have it, or the one when I was pregnant was wrong and I did. Figured I must have gotten it before I started dating him, but this would mean I'd had it for almost 3 years! And I'm probably being naive but I am having a hard time envisioning him cheating. Just doesn't seem likely. Plus he seemed so sincere swearing he hadn't. So I let it go as I'd had it for a while but made him go get tested anyway. I come home from work one day and he has all his stuff packed up, screaming at me that I cheated on him and gave him an std (i haven't been with anyone BUT him for almost 3 years). His test was positive as well, so now I'm sure my recent test was correct, and believe that my negative test was the wrong one, but he wouldn't believe me. Said I must have cheated. Well I think I would know if I had.
So today I start doing some research to try to prove myself. Wasn't sure what good it would do, but I tried anyway. Called Planned Parenthood to see when my last visit was. It was 11/30/06 (6 weeks AFTER I started dating this man) and it was negative then. And I was pregnant and tested for std's in november or december, same year, can't get a hold of those people yet but since they never told me anything I'm assuming that was negative. And since that one resulted in a miscarriage I got pregnant and tested again in 8/2007 and the dr confirmed that one was negative. So I think it's safe to say 3 false negatives are highly unlikely. So I was not the one that brought it into the relationship. And I doubt it would have taken him 1 1/2-2 years to give it to me if he had it first. And since I can only know for sure that I didn't cheat, it's starting to look good that he did. But I just can't see it.... plus I'm afraid if I point out to him that I didn't have it before it will just convince everyone more (he's told his whole family i cheated) since I do have a history of cheating (on my 2 ex's NEVER him) and he never has (or has never gotten caught, who knows). Only he knows the truth, and he's not telling anyone anything but that he didn't cheat. Is him cheating the only option here?

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6 Replies:

  • False positives are possible, but if you have had 3 tests in the past it is safe to say that you are negative. Also with the facts you have listed, it is more likely that you might have contracted this disease during one of your transgressions out of your relationship verses from your current relationship. Have him tested and get yourself tested again if you feel that strongly about it. Then go from there.
    Clinical_Advisor 6 Replies Flag this Response
  • "it is more likely that you might have contracted this disease during one of your transgressions out of your relationship verses from your current relationship."I don't understand what you mean here. Are you saying I got it before I started dating him? I just don't see how that would be possible seeing as I had 3 negative tests AFTER we started dating. He says now he believes I didn't cheat (but still won't come back, story for another board lol) but still swears he didn't.
    confusedgal2009 2 Replies Flag this Response
  • i've just had a test and came positive but i know ive not cheated at all on my boyfriend, hes done test and his was clear!!!! so ive just gone bk to the doctor for another one!!! im thinkin maybe if i got thrust or somethink strong in my urine it may come out positive for chlamydia , so ive gone for a different test.... other wise his must be wrong cus i know 100% ive not cheated on him
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • October 2, 2010
    • 01:31 PM
    • 0
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  • Sorry to break it to you but someone has been straying.To the original poster - you have a history of three negative tests SINCE your relationship began. Only you really know if you have or have not been unfaithful; if you are being truthful and haven't, then he has. It is JUST THAT SIMPLE!To the second poster - you don't give enough information. How long have you been with your boyfriend - if not too long than you could have had it without symptoms ? Have you been tested in the past with negatives? And the urine test doesn't work that way. Something else in your urine WON"T show up as a positive chlamydia. Now it may be a false positive (actually fairly rare and usually easily detected when run a second time) so it is good that you are getting a second test. Good luckI am a NP
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • October 21, 2010
    • 05:49 AM
    • 0
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  • i've just had a test and came positive but i know ive not cheated at all on my boyfriend, hes done test and his was clear!!!! so ive just gone bk to the doctor for another one!!! im thinkin maybe if i got thrust or somethink strong in my urine it may come out positive for chlamydia , so ive gone for a different test.... other wise his must be wrong cus i know 100% ive not cheated on himOhh I forgot the other option.He had already been diagnosed with it and treated and didn't bother to warn you.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • October 21, 2010
    • 05:51 AM
    • 0
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  • Wow girl. get yourself another man really quick. One that will take good care of you. Like me. But for real, u shouldn't have married him if u found out he cheated on you. Seems to me like you married a guy who still acts like a high school teenager. I hope u find happiness and best of luck to you.
    coloradorockies 1 Replies Flag this Response
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