Discussions By Condition: Sexual conditions

can't orgasm

Posted In: Sexual conditions 8 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • April 21, 2008
  • 07:53 PM

I've been with my boyfrnd for 2yrs but have been his best friend for over 5 before we were an item. I lost my virginity to him 18 months ago. no matter how hard (or how little) we try i just can't orgasm!I have no bad past experiences with sex and was deffinatly not pressured into anything. I enjoy it but i just don't feel anything at all!

I am currently going through test for possible endometriosis. i have chronic pelvic pain, painful intercourse, very painful periods, leg pain and lower back pain. These however have only arisen in the past 9 months so im unsure they are conected.

It's not only with my boyfrnd - i have tried on several occassions and there's nothing. Not only do i not feel anything pleasurable but sometimes it feels - not so much painful - but uncomfortable. I understand that not being fully aroused can cause this sort of feeling but as far as i'm aware i am aroused very well!

this is driving me mad and i really wnat to know if this could possibly be due to whatever medical problem i am being tested for or whether its just psychological?
Any advice or ideas would be gratefully welcomed. I really don't know where to turn.

thankyou

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8 Replies:

  • my girlfrnd has the same problem! i used to think it was just me but its really upsetting her! she says that she feels guilty for not being able to! someone please help!
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • That sounds like some possible bacterial infection. Go to the doctor and have them test your urine.
    mi_donacht 1 Replies Flag this Response
  • i'v already been tested for urine infections and stds and all negative.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • hi sounds like you been through a lot! how old are you? i had my first child before i had my first orgasm, but i didnt have any physical problems like you? you need to be able to do it yourself when your relaxed. if you worry about it and are stressed it wont happen, you need to sort out your physical problems first. i hope things go ok
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • Hey Stacey, I completely understand what you're going through as i have the exact same problem! I also have very painful periods, leg pain and everything else you described. But i'm not sure if the two are connected in any way. I had a similar siuation with my boyfriend too, as he was the first person i'd slept with i never knew there was a problem until we started having sex and i didn't feel anything...up until recently anyway :) I think the best thing you can do is relax, and be honest with your boyfriend about what feels good and what doesn't etc. I made the big mistake of lying to my boyfriend for the first few months and telling him i was having orgasms when i wasn't. When i finally got so frustrated i blurted out the truth it really damaged our relationship.ANYWAY, please try and remember that most women have difficulty orgasming through sex and if i was you i would try clitoral stimulation instead? I had my first orgasm only the other day with this! But barely feel anything through sex. Hope this helps.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • thanks lauren its nice to know im not the only one and there is some light! lol! i def think i do need to relax but even through clitoral stimulation there's just nothing. I'll give it a go though, relax and see what we can do! lol! thankyou so much xx
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • I agree with clitoral stimulation. Do it yourself a few times. Find a quiet and relaxing place and visualize it happening. If you are able to stimulate to orgasm, then it's a matter of relaxation during the process. Young or inexperienced women often find this troublesome in the beginning. Give yourself time. The more you both stress over it, only makes it worse. If in the long run you are still unable, you may want to talk with your doctor about it to ensure it is not a physical problem. Good luck. And remember, relax, slow and easy.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years, and in the first 2 years we were sexually active and I could not have an orgasm during sex, so oral sex had helped as it was enjoyable. If you relax and take the oral pleasure you will be able to feel an orgasm if you both try.x
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
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