I can easily find a lot of material on dyspareunia involving vaginal penetration, but is there anything like dyspareunia or vaginismus for anal penetration?
Here's the situation; I am trans, preop, prefer guys but the pain and tightness has made sex completely impossible.
Ok, I know what most people are thinking right now: anal sex hurts or is uncomfortable at first, you just gotta deal and then it gets easier.
It's a bit more complicated than that though. The sphincter area's tissue is extremely weak and splits open very easily. This has been a problem all my life, as long as I can remember so it is not being induced by sexual activity.
The tissue, prong to taring or splitting apart makes bowel movements extremely painful and causes bleeding. No hemorrhoids, growths, skin tags, constipation, or the runs in the picture. Just going to the bathroom can (almost always) causes problems, resulting in bleeding ranging from a few drops to enough to require standing & applying pressure to the area for some time to stop the bleeding.
Tried everything GPs have thrown at it; ointments, creams, soaking in water, soaking in salt water, stool softeners, dilation plans. None of it made a difference, and in the case of dilation plans all it did was make the area worse by putting stress on the already torn up sphincter area. After more than 4 years time, using dilation I was finally able to take a finger without causing bleeding, but it would still cause very notable pain especially in the spots that at the time had open wounds from bowel movements.
I've never been able to successfully have sex in my life because the pain has been so debilitating, and most doctors have been unsympathetic; talking about how anal is not for everyone and maybe I just need to find something else. Something else? Here's the kicker; since the tissue is the suspected problem (weak, splits easy etc) srs/grs surgeons are concerned that I may have similar problems with skin and tissue in the area, which would if the case, cause significant srs/grs complications (so much for option #2...).
It has obviously impacted my social life, I've never been able to hold a long term relationship because I've always had whoever I meet want a girl he can have sex with. Being trans doesn't even seem to be an issue for most people I meet, since I am passable enough to meet their friends, family, etc. Yes there are other ways to have sex (like oral) but I've never come across someone where that would be "enough".
Appreciate any insight y'all can give.
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