Discussions By Condition: Nerve conditions

please help

Posted In: Nerve conditions 0 Replies
  • Posted By: odin626
  • February 1, 2007
  • 03:03 AM

lets see i should start by saying im now 29 and since i was about 14 ive been having hallucinations, along with social anxiety, sometimes i get stuck on phrases and repeat them untill they lose all meaning i dont know why (there is ALOT of things i do i dont understand or can control and i hate myself because i cant control myself and its like im totally freaking random there is almost no set path i almost never know what or how im going to react to something good bad violent all i can do is try to restrain myself and seclude myself from people) depression, trust and abandonment issuses, self-destructive drug habits (which i have let go, well for the last couple of months i make no promises on anything i might want to do tomarro), a long standing deathwish probably shouldnt ever really admit to but oh well when i was 18 i was told i had schizophrenia and untill this year i went along with life as if no one told me any thing of the sort (who wants to believe they are all messed up, right) so this year it all started to get worse and i went to get checked out this is where it gets fun one doctor said no its not schizophrenia but borderline personality disorder then told me he could do nothing for me and good luck which was fine im starting to get used to it ive heard it several times now "man youre all "F"ed up i cant help you" heck its even starting to get funny doctors hear my stuff get beating down by my problems and then cut and run - i understand the logic to it id like to do the same but im stuck with me anyway so i went to another doctor and he says no its not bpd its post tramatic stress disorder from my "wonderful" childhood which i can see it possible being but would that account for random hallucinations that have nothing to do with my past? that i dont know also for the last couple of days its like im wearing a shock collar thats sending slight electrical shocks threw my body not enough for me to be all jerky or twitchy but far from feeling any kind of average its scary because its yet another problem im not ready to deal with i mean come on my brain is already all messed up anyone who meets and listens to me can pick up on that i mean dang im only 29 and i got to many freaking problems i tell you what people ought to have their head examined before they are allowed to breed cause some people just shouldnt they do more harm than good and then when do the cycles get broken anyway i best stop before i really get on to a rant if anyone can make any sense out of this and give me any real advice i would appreciate it

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