Basically there isnt a single day that passes by without me irrationally getting really annoyed or ****** at a loved one; be it parents, siblings, friend or girlfriend.I am passive aggressive. Think silent but deadly. So i will not scream, yell etc. But rather i would cut them off and be really cold. Like the other day i text my girlfriend while driving home if there was any more grilled chicken sandwich. Something that she made me earlier that day. 10 mins after i text her, i reach home and she runs to greet me with a kiss. I then look in the kitchen, realizing that she didnt read my text msg (because she was in the shower), i turn cold and say to her "so you dont check your phone". She gives me a puzzled look and immediately runs to check her phone but i pull her by her hand and tell her to forget it. She asks me if im hungry and i say no! She sweetly asks if she could make me some food and i am on my phone coldly saying no. She tells me that she was about to make us something delicious to eat and pleads to make it for us. I tell her that she could make food for herself but i dont have an appetite and that im not eating. Mind you i am starving and i was really craving for a grilled chicken sandwich. I could have easily asked her to make me one soon as i came in and she would have been so happy to do so and she would have made it in less than 10 mins. But no, instead i am extremely ****** and i dont even want to talk to her. The above is just the most recent scenario. Imagine a different, very trivial, extremely stupid scenario that gets me really ****** every single day. Its like if people (that are close to me) dont miraculously do or say things the way i like and when i like it...i am extremely ******.And from my girlfriend now and previous ones, its as if i expect her to have a psychic ability to read my mind and do things exactly the way i like it, only then would i be completely satisfied and content and not get ******...but who knows, maybe even then i would still find a reason to get agitated.Like i said, it happens almost all the time with those who are close to me. I get irritated at strangers as well, like if someone cuts me off in traffic, i could literally cut their head off. But generally, there isnt much of interaction that goes on with strangers to get me really ******.Like i cant remember a single time that ive been with my little brother that i didnt get so mad at him that i literally wanted to physically harm him. Of course it never really got there, worst that happened is i would yell at him or grab him by the back of the neck, hard, while yelling at him. Lol sounds really bad when i say it.Later on that day i would really regret it and realize how much i love him. Which i really do. The times this happens is when i ask him to do something and he doesnt do it the way i want or he messes up somewhere or he is slow at it...even though he literally tries the best he could to get it done as fast and as good as possible, like his life depended on it! But i am never satisfied unless it is godly perfect. Come to think of it, my brother is the only one that i explode on. Maybe because he is a big guy and can take it. Or maybe because he is the one i love most from the people around me. Idk.I have been giving my parents the cold shoulder for over a year because mom, unintentionally, did something i didnt like...which actually was a big deal. She tries to keep in touch and misses me but no matter how hard i try to forgive her, i just cant! And i really, really try.So whats going on? Why do i get so ******, so fast, at ppl who love me?? How do i change myself? Any advice would be so greatly appreciated! Thanks folks!Reply Follow This Thread Stop Following This Thread Flag this Discussion
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