I'm 19, male and i have these symptoms:
- severe depression accompanied by frequent crying
- i don't like to leave my room and go out
- extreme irritability and outbursts of temper which sometimes is so severe that i become extremely aggressive and break objects
- i'm extremely sensitive, emotionally, and have feelings of deep hurt when someone criticizes me or is angry with me
- sometimes i can't understand what people say and have to ask them to repeat often (although with family members, i have no trouble figuring out what they say)
- sometimes my voice feels faint and i have to repeat myself a couple times when i'm conversing with others to make them understand
- i feel fatigued and tired most of the time and i have back aches all the time
- i have very poor hygiene and have to drag myself to take a bath and brush my teeth
- i'm very restless and keep pacing around even when doing stuff like brushing and i bite the inside of my cheek all the time. Also i keep saying and shouting odd stuff a lot of the time because i feel hyper
- i feel uncomfortable making eye contact with others
- i have an urge to walk with my head down when i go out
- i'm extremely jealous and refuse to date anyone because all i can think about is the infidelity, cheating, and lustful things that people do. i met a girl at church that i developed a sentimental attachment to but now i just hate her because she wears skin tight jeans
- i often have a phobia that something bad will "happen" to me or my loved ones. e.g. when i'm sitting in a cab, i'm afraid there will be an accident
- i fantasize a lot. i have no real friends so i fantasize about made up ones and imagine conversations with them in my head. i also fantasize about things like being famous, etc.
but mainly i want to get rid of the depression and aggressive behaviour. i have tried medication.. my pdoc put me on risperidone.. and it helped with the symptoms but i couldn't tolerate the side effects. I want to know what this disorder is and what meds will help..