My mood tends to flucuate alot I'll be happy one moment and then one tiny thing happens and I blow up and become utterly enraged at everyone and everything however I have always had trouble expressing anger and usually end up bottling up most of my anger or misdirecting it at others, for example, A girl in my class will ask me what time it is and I'll start yelling at her about how stupid and inept she is for not looking at the cloc on the wall, or I'll be in class and the teacher will say "turn to page 123" and someone will ask "what page" and I'll freak out on them, call them all kinds of names and tell them how they deserve to die for their stupidity. I've been described as brutally honest and cruel by most people that know me. Sometimes I don't even need a trigger I just feel engraged for no reason at all. I have a whole history that my family knows nothing about including involvment with gangs and a drug history a mile long, I also believe that I may be addicted to sex. I feel these things may be factors in all this. All this is just the tip of the iceburg for my symptoms. I experience periods of time where I just don't wanna do anything and other periods where I feel just up and invincible. During the high periods I feel an increased desire to create things like little graphics or baccgrounds on the computer, but mostly I feel an extremely increased desire for sex (which is already constantly on my mind as is). I feel right now as if I'm just about starting one of the high periods again they usuallly last about 2-3 days though sometimes they can last up to a week or more. I am constantly suspicious of everyone around me and am constantly planning things little schemes and conversations to have with others in order to get them to do as I want. I used to have a fantasy that I used to imerse myself in on a regular basis usually as long as I was at home in my room I was in my own fantasy world, but I was aware that it was fantasy however until very recently I couldn't pull myself from it, I recently made a point to try and stop fantasizing and have successfully done so mostly through heavy drug use unfortunately. I have taken over 10 online tests for schitzophrenia and bipolar disorder I scored "Highly Likely" to suffer from these disorders on all of them but I'm not really sure what to think, I'd like an oppinion from someone, anyone really. What do you think it is? What should I do?Reply Follow This Thread Stop Following This Thread Flag this Discussion
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