I am at the end of my wits. There isn't enough space to put the whole story here but as brief as I can, here it is.
My wife has multiple problems and the end result is that she lacks the ability to sleep for more than short <1 hour naps. The effect is that she is frequently out of it. Her eyes will roll around like she is on heavy sedatives (though not) and she will slur her words and struggle with common, simple vocabulary. She totalled her car and has trouble at work and is very combative when approached on this issue. She stays up all night and all day getting distracted by cleaning or projects. I will find her passed out on the kitchen floor and other places.
1) Emotional trauma from her childhood - physical, emotional, and severe sexual abuse and domestic abuse from her adulthood (... not by me. First husband).
2) Back injury including several crushed discs
3) Years of Vicodin use due to the injury
4) Weight loss surgery and subsequent operations related to it
5) Broken leg with plates (resulting from an overdose situation)
6) Very defensive and/or lies about what she's taken
7) Doesn't regularly drink but when she does (social settings) binges and becomes very violent. She can't just have one drink. Its either zero or 20.
In a (successful) effort to get off Vicodin her doctor put her on Cymbalta thinking the anxiety contributed to her back pain. She went from 12 V pills a day down to less than 1 so I am proud of her. However, she was maxed out on Cymbalta and was walking around like a zombie. She never got out of bed and completely ignored her kid and myself. She took it upon herself to reduce and then stop the Cymbalta. Now she is essentially clean except that she does not sleep. And the effect of that is no different than heavy drugs. She refuses to see a therapist and the MD interventions have always included more drugs and more "zombie wife". She is so defensive about my pressure to "go to bed" that she is talking about leaving me because I'm so "controlling". Any ideas???