Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

Trying to get a diagnosis - MAYBE TRIGGERING

Posted In: Mental conditions 6 Replies
  • Posted By: Mayfly
  • February 22, 2008
  • 00:53 PM

Hi all

Sorry for long post, but here goes....

I have been diagnosed with depression, treated with Citalpram and then fluxotine. I thought I'd recovered, was made redundant, moved house and hit an all time low again. Have self-harmed, constantly consider suicide.

I have obsessions about famous people in lieu of relationships. Had never had a boyfriend up to the age of 38, am now seeing as men as fast as I can for one thing only. I would like a more permenant relationship but cannot form emotional attachments to real men. I have fallen for a celebrity and fantasise about them all the time, mostly from a comfort point of view, and a dream of a 'real' relationship.

Have had auditory hallucinations - not actually hearing things, but have 'heard' my mobile phone ring, scaring the heck out of me, I dream about loud noises which then wake me up, I see things out of the corner of my eye, I sometimes can't make sense of what I'm seeing, sometimes feel detached from my body. I have bouts of complete depression on sunny afternoons, something linked to my past which I can't remember. I hate sunny afternoons, they make me feel empty and exposed. I like the night time, and I tend to sleep a lot to make the day go faster at weekends.

I have bouts of anger, before the fluoxetine I also had crying jags (very embarrasing at work). I feel I'm persecuted at work, feel everyone is talking about me, I don't like going out because it seems like I'm being stared at. I'm now hooked on alcohol, I sometimes have moments of intense anger when drunk (I stabbed a cupboard door with a carving knife because I bruised myself on it) and often hit myself. Used to have cravings for sex when drunk but don't get that any more since seeing some guys.

I had a mini collapse at work, I felt I had a big black hole in my mind which was sucking everything into it, there was an emotional pain in my inside which was so bad, I wanted to stab myself with a carving knife because I thought it would hurt less. I only went to see a doctor because I couldn't keep on living like this, and I wasn't ready for the alternative. I feel like the AD's help me paper over the black hole, but aren't filling it in. The paper isn't always enough to keep the bad feelings in. I sometimes wake up in the morning, and wonder what it would be like to stab myself. I sometimes want to crash the car while I'm driving it.

Have I got PTSD/CPTSD? I need to know :- What is wrong with me? Why my celebrity is so important to me (and he is the absolute focus of my life), and how to get treatment.

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6 Replies:

  • I believe you need to be screened for porphyria.... there are 8 kinds.Check this website out.... read the members stories and about the eight kinds of porphyria. Learn about what can trigger porphyria attacks; like certain medicines. Yahoo has support groups for this disease should you have it. I am sorry you are having so much pain, please make sure you have a supportive counselor to work with. Do you have any GI/abdominal problems? Problems taking medicines.? What is you ancestory? http://www.porphyriafoundation.com/ http://wrongdiagnosis.com/p/porphyria/intro.htm You need to also look into other metabolic diseases such as Wilsons Disease perhaps. Look for a hematologist or a liver/GI dr who specializes in metabolic diseases with psychiatric signs. Information from Wrong Diagnosis website....The list of signs and symptoms mentioned in various sources for Porphyria includes the 46 symptoms listed below: Urine color changesDarkened urineNerve complication symptomsChest painAbdominal painMuscle crampsMuscle weaknessHallucinationsSeizuresDepressionAnxietyParanoiaHigh blood pressureRapid pulseFeverSkin complication symptomsSkin blistersSkin itchingSkin swellingSun sensitivityPhotosensitivityParesthesiasHair growth abnormalitiesSkin pigment changesGastrointestinal upsetAbdominal painVomitingNauseaConstipationSkin symptomsNeurological symptomsBlistersItchy skinSkin swelling on exposure to lightChest painAbdominal painLimb painBack painMuscle numbnessVomitingConstipationPersonality changesMental disordersTinglingParalysisCrampingHi all Sorry for long post, but here goes.... I have been diagnosed with depression, treated with Citalpram and then fluxotine. I thought I'd recovered, was made redundant, moved house and hit an all time low again. Have self-harmed, constantly consider suicide. I have obsessions about famous people in lieu of relationships. Had never had a boyfriend up to the age of 38, am now seeing as men as fast as I can for one thing only. I would like a more permenant relationship but cannot form emotional attachments to real men. I have fallen for a celebrity and fantasise about them all the time, mostly from a comfort point of view, and a dream of a 'real' relationship. Have had auditory hallucinations - not actually hearing things, but have 'heard' my mobile phone ring, scaring the heck out of me, I dream about loud noises which then wake me up, I see things out of the corner of my eye, I sometimes can't make sense of what I'm seeing, sometimes feel detached from my body. I have bouts of complete depression on sunny afternoons, something linked to my past which I can't remember. I hate sunny afternoons, they make me feel empty and exposed. I like the night time, and I tend to sleep a lot to make the day go faster at weekends. I have bouts of anger, before the fluoxetine I also had crying jags (very embarrasing at work). I feel I'm persecuted at work, feel everyone is talking about me, I don't like going out because it seems like I'm being stared at. I'm now hooked on alcohol, I sometimes have moments of intense anger when drunk (I stabbed a cupboard door with a carving knife because I bruised myself on it) and often hit myself. Used to have cravings for sex when drunk but don't get that any more since seeing some guys. I had a mini collapse at work, I felt I had a big black hole in my mind which was sucking everything into it, there was an emotional pain in my inside which was so bad, I wanted to stab myself with a carving knife because I thought it would hurt less. I only went to see a doctor because I couldn't keep on living like this, and I wasn't ready for the alternative. I feel like the AD's help me paper over the black hole, but aren't filling it in. The paper isn't always enough to keep the bad feelings in. I sometimes wake up in the morning, and wonder what it would be like to stab myself. I sometimes want to crash the car while I'm driving it. Have I got PTSD/CPTSD? I need to know :- What is wrong with me? Why my celebrity is so important to me (and he is the absolute focus of my life), and how to get treatment.
    TaylorDeelwithit 382 Replies
    • February 25, 2008
    • 07:52 AM
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  • Hello, thanks for the reply, I will get reading the information when I've finished this post. I want to have counselling, but due to my very bad memory, I went on the wrong day and missed my first appointment. My counsellor is now off sick, so I think I've been lost in the shuffle. My doctor asked me the last time if I was still taking the Fluoxetine - I don't think she quite realises that I can't do without it. My ancestry? Do you mean, does depression run in the family? I suspect my mum suffers from it, she has a bigger alcohol problem than I do, but ours is the sort of family who doesn't talk about these things. I'm not sure I have any problems taking medication, as my depression has been going on for years, and I was only diagnosed with diabetes about six years ago. I just didn't know I had depression. Right, I must go, it's time for work :-(
    Mayfly 4 Replies
    • February 25, 2008
    • 08:52 AM
    • 0
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  • Hello, I've had a look through the information - when I say I don't like sunlight, I don't have a physical reaction to it, I have a mental and emotional one. It's a bit like suddenly becomming agrophobic for a short period of time, I'm very small in a huge outside but I also get extreme depression from being at home when it's sunny as well. I tend to pull my curtains across until it's sunset outside. It doesn't happen all the time though, but when it does, it's uncontrollable. I get abdominal pain but it's usually connected with stress - in fact, I tend to have very normal reactions to stress - feeling ill, diarreah, trembling and so on.
    Mayfly 4 Replies
    • February 25, 2008
    • 05:48 PM
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  • Ancestory... what countries do your relatives come from. Some nationalities have higher incidences of some types of porphyria that can cause your symptoms. Many prophyria folks have diabetes also. Glucose intolerance occurs is found in many new diagnosed patients. Later the treatments pre-dispose the same folks to frank diabetes. Porphyria often makes the folks crave sugars, carbs... carbs affect how much porphyians get stored in the organs and skin. Alcohol is a huge trigger for porphyria; avoid it. It is bad for you and your liver in many ways. It is also a depressant. Some meds for both diabetes and psychiatric problems can be triggers for porphyria attacks. Attacks which can include psych problems. Depression can be a sign of metabolic diseases. Anybody in your ancestory have problems with severe tummy aches (abdominal pain)? Gall bladders out, no stones found but not functioning?Appendix out but normal?Any neuropathies? Autoimmune disorders in the family? I hope you find an answer soon. Do be careful about medications, drugs and such. Do get screened for elevated porphyrian levels just to be safe, and repeated testing shortly after an attack begins helps but many false negatives occur.Hugs...tdwi:) Hello, thanks for the reply, I will get reading the information when I've finished this post. I want to have counselling, but due to my very bad memory, I went on the wrong day and missed my first appointment. My counsellor is now off sick, so I think I've been lost in the shuffle. My doctor asked me the last time if I was still taking the Fluoxetine - I don't think she quite realises that I can't do without it. My ancestry? Do you mean, does depression run in the family? I suspect my mum suffers from it, she has a bigger alcohol problem than I do, but ours is the sort of family who doesn't talk about these things. I'm not sure I have any problems taking medication, as my depression has been going on for years, and I was only diagnosed with diabetes about six years ago. I just didn't know I had depression. Right, I must go, it's time for work :-(
    TaylorDeelwithit 382 Replies
    • February 25, 2008
    • 07:30 PM
    • 0
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  • Ah, ancestry, we're all British. Back to my Great Grandparents anyway. No one suffers from Tummy problems in my family. I have never had my appendix out - in fact, no one in my immediate family have. Basically, we're all a very healthy lot, except for the predisposition towards alcohol and hay fever. The only time I feel happy and relaxed is when I'm drunk, I'd like to give it up, but I need a substitute. To be honest, it's a self destruct mechanism, as in I know it'll screw up my body, but so far it's not done any damage that I can feel, so I keep doing it.
    Mayfly 4 Replies
    • February 26, 2008
    • 08:40 AM
    • 0
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  • Alcohol is bad stuff...... hurts your liver. very toxic.:eek: Ah, ancestry, we're all British. Back to my Great Grandparents anyway. No one suffers from Tummy problems in my family. I have never had my appendix out - in fact, no one in my immediate family have. Basically, we're all a very healthy lot, except for the predisposition towards alcohol and hay fever. The only time I feel happy and relaxed is when I'm drunk, I'd like to give it up, but I need a substitute. To be honest, it's a self destruct mechanism, as in I know it'll screw up my body, but so far it's not done any damage that I can feel, so I keep doing it.
    TaylorDeelwithit 382 Replies
    • February 28, 2008
    • 11:26 AM
    • 0
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