I am 21, and was first diagnosed with depression 4 years ago, although my symptoms were apparent to me years before (i just thought i was being a silly) and have progressively gotten worse, regardless of brand or dosage of drugs.
I have been prescribed a range of anti-depressant medication over the past few years, all SSRI's except for the most recent which is SNRI but none seem to help these feelings i have. They just make me feel like a zombie.
My symptoms are probably pretty similar to alot of people suffering from depression, but i do not believe i am suffering from depression as such, i believe depression is a symptom of something underlying.
Really bad concentration problems. I think that whatever is causing this may be the reason behind everything else, as being unable to complete anything in my life i feel useless and pathetic.
Generally feeling "down" - this is continuous, although sometimes have brief moments of joy that seem to spring from nowhere.
My head is racing a million miles an hour, i can't stop thinking, my brain never slows down, it uses all of my energy so my physical fitness level has become completely unbalanced with comparison to my mental hyperactivity. Of course, no matter how hard i try to put my mind to some constructive use, i just end up looping negative crap which leads to delusions, paranoia blah blah blah...
The biggest problem with this is that i feel that if could settle my brain and concentrate on one thing, i would actually do quite well in my many failed study attempts, but i have always had an extremely hard time trying to concentrate on one thing for any substantial period of time.
Continual physical fatigue. I have become almost completely incapable of performing any physical task. I think my brain wears me out.
Uncontrollable weeping episodes. I feel as though i am stuck in a deep deep dark hole and will never ever escape.
Strange episodes of over-excitement and extreme enthusiasm, this is usually followed by a massive plummet in mood. ( bi-polar-like?)
I'm not sure if this is relevant, but i have an insatiable sexual appetite. This seems to annoy my partner more than me.
I have slowly isolated myself from almost everyone except close family, and have trouble dealing with social situations. I get irritable and just want to go home to bed. Thus, i have been unable to hold down any job for very long as within the first week or two i am really struggling to find the mental and physical strength to face another day, and i find it hard to associate with co-workers. finding work (or anything where i have to deal with people) is becoming almost frightening for me, as i rarely speak to anyone but my partner and close family.
I have been going through this **** for years and have been telling the doctors and they still keep saying it's depression, just take this and go talk to this psychologist and we'll monitor you.
I thought i'd ask you guys if you have any ideas as to what's going on with me before i go and see another doctor:eek:
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