Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

Taking initiative, what is wrong with me?

Posted In: Mental conditions 6 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • June 13, 2011
  • 06:32 AM

ok, so i've almost worked my self up to taking some initiative about, whatever i have. ive been like this my whole life (just turned 18), and its gotten to a point where i want to help myself. and im finding it incredibly difficult to even say this here.

basically, i cant function in social situations. its social anxiety of some sort. well its not that i can't, i can, but everything i say is always fake. like its not me talking. i cant pick up on social cues, start a conversation, continue a conversation and all the time my brain is telling me im wasting my time with this person.

the anxiety isn't just in social situations. its all the time. if anything mildly confronting happens, that event will circulate around my head for weeks. and i go on massive tangents. what if this happened, what would i do?. that even happens for events that i make up myself (in my head). and it gets me stressed.

another issue is that i have extremely poor motor skills. its a pain to write. and even read. i can, but there's something blocking me. here is an example of my writing skills:
http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/7819/samplewriting.jpg

i think this is also part of the reason why i can barely bring myself to start something. this is not to say i don't do anything! i am exceptionally skilled at doing a lot of tasks (ive been given the term prodigious). i need to focus on something until i can preform it at a proficient level. well, anything that doesn't involve using fine motor skills or any form of social interaction. i quite literally cant work in groups.

but the fact that i cant do these things after years upon years of trying builds my level of anxiety and stress up. and i feel like i cant function.


this is an extreme roundabout way of putting it. i hope you realise how hard this was for me to say. and i hope i get an answer other than, 'you sound like an arrogant ****k'; which seems to be the general consensus. i would like to help my self. but honestly i don't know where to start.

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6 Replies:

  • You might want to have yourself tested for Autism or for Asperger syndrome * I cant pick up on social cues, start a conversation, continue a conversation. Therefore, i cant function in social situations and i quite literally cant work in groups, all of which gives me a social anxiety of some sort. See Autism/Asperger* event will circulate around my head for weeks (obsessive). and i go on massive tangents (compulsive). See obsessive–compulsive personality disorder, part of Autism/Asperger* another issue is that i have extremely poor motor skills,. its a pain to write. See Autism/Asperger* I am exceptionally skilled at doing a lot of tasks (ive been given the term prodigious). See Asperger if it is a single task.
    ConcernedinCA 1 Replies Flag this Response
  • You might want to have yourself tested for Autism or for Asperger syndrome * I cant pick up on social cues, start a conversation, continue a conversation. Therefore, i cant function in social situations and i quite literally cant work in groups, all of which gives me a social anxiety of some sort. See Autism/Asperger* event will circulate around my head for weeks (obsessive). and i go on massive tangents (compulsive). See obsessive–compulsive personality disorder, part of Autism/Asperger* another issue is that i have extremely poor motor skills,. its a pain to write. See Autism/Asperger* I am exceptionally skilled at doing a lot of tasks (ive been given the term prodigious). See Asperger if it is a single task.I think it was a great help from you to that post.
    jacky0403 30 Replies Flag this Response
  • ok, so i've almost worked my self up to taking some initiative about, whatever i have. ive been like this my whole life (just turned 18), and its gotten to a point where i want to help myself. and im finding it incredibly difficult to even say this here. basically, i cant function in social situations. its social anxiety of some sort. well its not that i can't, i can, but everything i say is always fake. like its not me talking. i cant pick up on social cues, start a conversation, continue a conversation and all the time my brain is telling me im wasting my time with this person. the anxiety isn't just in social situations. its all the time. if anything mildly confronting happens, that event will circulate around my head for weeks. and i go on massive tangents. what if this happened, what would i do?. that even happens for events that i make up myself (in my head). and it gets me stressed. another issue is that i have extremely poor motor skills. its a pain to write. and even read. i can, but there's something blocking me. here is an example of my writing skills:http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/7819/samplewriting.jpg i think this is also part of the reason why i can barely bring myself to start something. this is not to say i don't do anything! i am exceptionally skilled at doing a lot of tasks (ive been given the term prodigious). i need to focus on something until i can preform it at a proficient level. well, anything that doesn't involve using fine motor skills or any form of social interaction. i quite literally cant work in groups. but the fact that i cant do these things after years upon years of trying builds my level of anxiety and stress up. and i feel like i cant function. this is an extreme roundabout way of putting it. i hope you realise how hard this was for me to say. and i hope i get an answer other than, 'you sound like an arrogant ****k'; which seems to be the general consensus. i would like to help my self. but honestly i don't know where to start. It sounds like a developmental issue, could be Asperger's, Anxiety, and fine motor delays (re: writing). You may need a developmental evaluation. Have you had this all your life? Developmental issues are usually caught at a much younger age.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies Flag this Response
  • I agree with the other poster.. it sounds like Aspergers. " i am exceptionally skilled at doing a lot of tasks (ive been given the term prodigious)" That with the other things you mention really makes me think its Asperger's rather then JUST anxiety or developmental delay like another suggested. It is not usual for an Asperger's person to have some very good skills which stand out to others. note. Asperger's people often do suffer from anxiety ...... I suggest to learn more about Aspergers if you want to connect with others with the disorder to find out more.. to go to the big online Autisum/Aspergers site www.wrongplanet.net .. they have a discussion forum there. Take care if you seek an offical diagnoses as often non experts in the disorder can miss this.. see do seek someone who specialises actually in Aspergers. I myself have Aspergers and was always in trouble at school for my messy writing. I cant write fast and I cant hold a pencil/pen properly as my hand wont coordinate right to hold it, which I think is part the reason why I cant write like others do. I know another with aspergers who also has same issue with his writing too so I expect this issue isnt uncommon with Aspergers.
    taniaaust1 2267 Replies Flag this Response
  • The fact that you're "taking the initiative" is a good sign.I was a Freshman in college when I realized that something was very wrong. I've since, through therapy, AA, and Al-anon realized that I hadn't felt "real" since I was 11. But, one night toward the end of my first year at college, something switched on or off in my brain, and I've been trying to get it back , since.Suddenly, I wanted to die, and it not only startled me, it *****d me off. I was also a prodigy. Everything was easy for me: sports, school, social situations. I was a leader; BMOC. Now, I could't look people in the eye; even my best friends. If I did, I immediately lost track of what they were saying. I couldn't go to parties, unless I got wasted, first, to mask my social-phobia. Somehow, I finished the year. The very worst part of going home like this was, nobody seemed to notice. I'd be with friends, wanting to scream, "Has anyone noticed, I haven't said a ***n thing for 45 minutes!?" I'm 41, now. How scary is that? I've waited this long to really tackle this thing. Ask for help, and keep asking. 9 out of 10 people you as won't get it, and might even say you're making it up.
    lennon 2 Replies Flag this Response
  • Take the initiative. If you don't no one will.ok, so i've almost worked my self up to taking some initiative about, whatever i have. ive been like this my whole life (just turned 18), and its gotten to a point where i want to help myself. and im finding it incredibly difficult to even say this here.basically, i cant function in social situations. its social anxiety of some sort. well its not that i can't, i can, but everything i say is always fake. like its not me talking. i cant pick up on social cues, start a conversation, continue a conversation and all the time my brain is telling me im wasting my time with this person.the anxiety isn't just in social situations. its all the time. if anything mildly confronting happens, that event will circulate around my head for weeks. and i go on massive tangents. what if this happened, what would i do?. that even happens for events that i make up myself (in my head). and it gets me stressed.another issue is that i have extremely poor motor skills. its a pain to write. and even read. i can, but there's something blocking me. here is an example of my writing skills:http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/7819/samplewriting.jpgi think this is also part of the reason why i can barely bring myself to start something. this is not to say i don't do anything! i am exceptionally skilled at doing a lot of tasks (ive been given the term prodigious). i need to focus on something until i can preform it at a proficient level. well, anything that doesn't involve using fine motor skills or any form of social interaction. i quite literally cant work in groups.but the fact that i cant do these things after years upon years of trying builds my level of anxiety and stress up. and i feel like i cant function.this is an extreme roundabout way of putting it. i hope you realise how hard this was for me to say. and i hope i get an answer other than, 'you sound like an arrogant ****k'; which seems to be the general consensus. i would like to help my self. but honestly i don't know where to start.
    lennon 2 Replies Flag this Response
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