I have never posted on such a forum and don't really know where to start or whether I'm just being stupid or not but, here goes.
For a considerable number of years now (to be more accurate after getting out of a very abusive long term relationship), I have been unable to trust anyone, become close to anyone and even put myself out to meet another girl.
I would say that I have always found myself very unatractive, I don't like to look in mirrors for example, I do not feel that I am really worth all that much and actually sometimes do not feel that there is much point to anything.
When I do fall for someone I do not believe that it falls apart due to the other party but due to my odd personality. To say that I have dark thoughts (not of a perverted or murderous kind) would be an understatement.
I do not really know where to start, all I do know that is I do have mood swings, lately directed towards a female at work that I have grown very fond of, she is married and I know this must be misdirected as I think it's due to her actually showing me a caring and warm woman.
I have had to try and explain to her that I do not mean to be this way but I need to sort my head out, I do not want to ruin our friendship but I do believe I already have.
Some advice would be most appreciated.