Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

Something May Be Wrong, Not Sure What Though -_-

Posted In: Mental conditions 13 Replies
  • Posted By: shesprettyodd
  • December 23, 2008
  • 09:36 AM

I will be as honest as possible so that you guys can honestly tell me what you think.

This will be sort of long, so please bare with me:

I was "okay" up until a couple of months ago. I traveled across a couple of states to meet someone I met over the internet. Everything was great, I completely knew what I was getting myself into. I took the risk of "whatever happens happens". Even though my family didn't want me to go, I did. Ok, so everything was fine the first trip, then we went back to my house and everything was still fine. Well, a month later we went back to the person's house and a couple of weeks later it started. I tried pot and it was fine for a while. (I had never even smoked cigarettes before this.) Everything felt ok for a while until this one night, I had smoke alot and I was sitting down at the computer and felt dizzy and faint all of the sudden. I started panicking and was trembling very badly. I was so scared, all I could think of was to tell the person to get me water and food. Well, that helped for a while. Then I started feeling better and everything was fine for a while after that. Two weeks later I started noticing that I felt panicky when I'd feel alittle "off". I'd get really really scared if my stomach or anything else was bothering me. All I could think of was "what if I pass out/or faint". I thought it was the pot so I stopped smoking immediately, but it didn't stop. So I resumed smoking to see if it would calm me down, it didn't help at all, I actually felt like it made me feel more paranoid and scared about being sick.

I mentioned having a few panic attacks to my mother (who is a registered nurse) and she said it could of been triggered because I had never been away from home for so long. On top of all this happening, my grandmother was very ill and I was very very close to her my whole life. Well, I finally decided to try and make it home because my mom told me that she was probably not going to make it. The only thing is I didn't make plans soon enough and she passed away. I tried driving home but had a panic attack while driving on the interstate so we had to go back to the person's home. I actually had to get some of my family members to go up there to get me.

Now, I'am home but I still feel edgy alot. While I was there I couldn't eat because I'd have terrible pains in my stomach and would feel like I needed to puke everytime I'd get really scared or stressed out about what I was thinking about. (My grandma, being there, being scared, etc.)

I will be honest and say I was "sheltered" most of my life as well and what I experienced staying there was WAY out of my comfort zone. I often felt scared being there because of what was going on. People who lived there did really hard drugs and I saw really violent behavior. (This is one of the main reasons I pushed going back home, aside from my grandmother.)

What I'm wondering is am I sick or is this all just stress? I just want to feel normal again and not SCARED all the ***n time. It's like, I can feel perfectly ok, but if something goes slighty wrong or I feel slightly off I start panicking and thinking I'm going to pass out or something worse.

I have thought about going to a psychologist/doctor but I'm afraid too. I've had excellent health up to this point and have never needed to go to the doctor aside from shots.

If any of you could help it would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for reading and I'm sorry it was so long.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I'm 21 years old and female.

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13 Replies:

  • Listen hun, go see your doctor...i hope he/she is someone you can talk to. They will point you in right direction. If not come back to me and i'll see what i can do for you ok. Best wishes and good luck xxx
    Denise1965 1 Replies
    • January 1, 2009
    • 09:56 PM
    • 0
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  • I definitely agree with Denice1965. You should see your doctor and let him know what you've been through. That pot or something might have had LSD, or they may have dropped some acid on you without your knowing about it. It can take a long time to get over acid. It also sounds like you have post traumatic stress disorder from what you went through with the people you met on the internet. Glad you're out of there. Good luck. Marionstar
    marionstar 228 Replies
    • January 2, 2009
    • 02:53 AM
    • 0
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  • Could I perhaps talk to one of you privately about this? I don't know if it's against the rules or not. If it's not I'd greatly appreciate it.
    shesprettyodd 4 Replies
    • January 7, 2009
    • 06:24 AM
    • 0
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  • You may write to me at marionstar@aol.com. I hope you will also continue to work through the forum, as there are many people here who want to help you. Marionstar
    marionstar 228 Replies
    • January 8, 2009
    • 04:28 AM
    • 0
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  • Well, I think things might be getting worse because it seems I'm waking up during the night with my heart racing and it's very hard to get back to sleep.Also, I can't explain it but sometimes when I'm trying to sleep I feel like I'm passing out "fainting" but I'm trying to fight it. I don't know. I can't tell the difference between being tired and being weak anymore. It's very frustrating and my mother thinks it's just anxiety and that I'll eventually work through it.Everybody keeps telling me there is nothing wrong with me, but it gets worse when I go into public places such as a supermarket or small game store.I went to the store earlier and it wasn't that packed. I was walking around looking at things and all of the sudden I felt really dizzy and started to panic. We actually had to leave because I felt like I was going to be sick. I generally have to concentrate on something to get my mind off of worrying about people being around me in stores. Tonight it didn't work one bit. I felt ok after we left but it took a few hours for me to feel not so anxious.I feel like lights MAY affect me alot as well. Maybe I'm just paranoid? I have no clue.As for them putting acid on the pot... I'm not sure.. All I know is it was very high quality stuff. It smelled a lot like blueberries... Weird, I know. -_-
    shesprettyodd 4 Replies
    • January 12, 2009
    • 10:27 AM
    • 0
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  • I'm trying to fight it. I don't know. I can't tell the difference between being tired and being weak anymore. It's very frustrating and my mother thinks it's just anxiety and that I'll eventually work through it. Everybody keeps telling me there is nothing wrong with me, but it gets worse when I go into public places such as a supermarket or small game store. I went to the store earlier and it wasn't that packed. I was walking around looking at things and all of the sudden I felt really dizzy and started to panic. We actually had to leave because I felt like I was going to be sick. I generally have to concentrate on something to get my mind off of worrying about people being around me in stores. Tonight it didn't work one bit. I felt ok after we left but it took a few hours for me to feel not so anxious. I feel like lights MAY affect me alot as well. Maybe I'm just paranoid? I have no clue. As for them putting acid on the pot... I'm not sure.. All I know is it was very high quality stuff. It smelled a lot like blueberries... Weird, I know. -_- Take it from a pot smoker, it is NOT supposed to smell like blueberries!And I've had laced before and so have a good portion of my friends... blueberries?I'm pretty sure it was laced with something. I'm also pretty sure it wasn't your typical lacing with pcp and the like. Are you a very suggestable person? Is any of this behaviour within your nature?In my opinion, there’s a good chance that your symptoms are mainly originating from a biological response your body is having to whatever mystery ingredient(s) was in the toxic brew.I strongly urge you to see a doctor!If after all the medical perusing there's nothing wrong with you then your physical symptoms might be a manifestation of guilt and grief and what not... Though mind you, I personally don't feel this is too likely in your case. If you think you can hack it and if you'd consider this to be less trouble than it's worth, then I recommend you oh so safely contact the people you were with and see if they have enough decency to tell you what in gods name was in the pot, and/or if anyone is experiencing any similar side effects. This might save you and your doctor some trouble. I wish you the best of luck with this!
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • January 15, 2009
    • 02:55 AM
    • 0
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  • Ok here's the jest... It was very high quality pot mixed with tobacco. I don't think that could cause all this? Maybe I'm wrong. I'm still kinda *****d. I knew it smelled sorta' funny but I'm not an expert pot smoker. I had never smoked before then so had no idea what it even smelled like. I do know though that they also had coke and shrooms there but I made it absolutely clear I would NOT do that sort of stuff. That's alot of what kept me up at night. It sounded like someone scrapping plates with knives or somethin.
    shesprettyodd 4 Replies
    • January 15, 2009
    • 08:40 PM
    • 0
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  • Hi, shesprettyodd...I haven't heard from you privately, but am glad to see you are still posting. I agree with nenja that your symptoms seem to be related to whatever they gave you in the pot, which would imply that gradually you should get better. Some of the paranoia around people could relate to your experience, which sounds frightening. Finally, what was your mental state before you left home for a place you found on the internet? To my way of thinking, although I know that lots of people do this, even marry people they meet on the internet, this is rather risky behavior. Do you think so? Marionstar
    marionstar 228 Replies
    • January 15, 2009
    • 11:29 PM
    • 0
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  • To be honest, before I left home I was alittle stressed out and worried with my grandmother being so ill. Also, the person I went to me we had our ups and downs even just over the net. I never had panic attacks, but I did have a bit of anxiety like I said. I also never my town by myself before, much less my state. The thing is the person came back to my house and I told them that I won't be able to go back up there anytime soon so I guess it sort of stresses me out that I MIGHT have to go back up there some time and its always on my mind. Also I remembered something, after that bad experience I was "fine" up until they gave me 2 muscle relaxers. Now that I think of it I think everything was triggered after that... I usually get worked up if the slightest thing is "wrong" like I said before. I have a sinus infection right now and my mother had given me antibotics and it made me really sick taking them. (Even though it had happened before) I panicked when my stomach started bothering me. I dunno.
    shesprettyodd 4 Replies
    • January 16, 2009
    • 04:38 AM
    • 0
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  • Some muscle relaxants can cause abnormal neurological effects...they may have given you a psychiatric medication instead of a true muscle relaxer...The effects should wear off, eventually. Have you tried drinking camomile tea? It has some sedating, anti-anxiety properties. Be cautious...if I drink it, I'm out for the day. Marionstar
    marionstar 228 Replies
    • January 17, 2009
    • 08:09 PM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
  • You mention in your original post that it might "just" be stress. I urge you not to underestimate what stress can do to a person.You state that you have a history of anxiety. Your grandmother passed away while you were gone (I'm sorry for your loss, btw). You were meeting someone you didn't know outside of your self-proclaimed 'sheltered' life--and you began to take drugs for the first time. Is all that correct? If so, I would attribute all of your symptoms to anxiety, grief and stress (assuming you are not currently taking the street drugs, including the 'muscle relaxers'). You must deal with your emotions more effectively to reduce the physical impact. Stress can be manifested in very physical forms in a person, please don't discount it. Oh, and that blueberry pot--in my day (a long time ago, granted) we paid high-dollar for that strain of kind bud. It is real, it does exist, and it does smell like blueberries without any added stuff to the mix. I'm not saying whether they laced you with something or not, only you know, but the blueberry nuggets are real.Last little bit:The thing is the person came back to my house and I told them that I won't be able to go back up there anytime soon so I guess it sort of stresses me out that I MIGHT have to go back up there some time and its always on my mind. There's a great thing about being 21. You get to choose where you go and with whom. If you don't feel something is right for you, by your own judgment, You do not have to do it. Period. So, you do not have to go back there if it is not something you choose to do. No need to stress--just don't do it. There are very few 'have to's' in my experience--the rest is a choice. You make your own decisions--you are an adult now.Best wishes.
    Harmonium 322 Replies
    • January 18, 2009
    • 01:12 AM
    • 0
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  • I will be as honest as possible so that you guys can honestly tell me what you think. This will be sort of long, so please bare with me: I was "okay" up until a couple of months ago. I traveled across a couple of states to meet someone I met over the internet. Everything was great, I completely knew what I was getting myself into. I took the risk of "whatever happens happens". Even though my family didn't want me to go, I did. Ok, so everything was fine the first trip, then we went back to my house and everything was still fine. Well, a month later we went back to the person's house and a couple of weeks later it started. I tried pot and it was fine for a while. (I had never even smoked cigarettes before this.) Everything felt ok for a while until this one night, I had smoke alot and I was sitting down at the computer and felt dizzy and faint all of the sudden. I started panicking and was trembling very badly. I was so scared, all I could think of was to tell the person to get me water and food. Well, that helped for a while. Then I started feeling better and everything was fine for a while after that. Two weeks later I started noticing that I felt panicky when I'd feel alittle "off". I'd get really really scared if my stomach or anything else was bothering me. All I could think of was "what if I pass out/or faint". I thought it was the pot so I stopped smoking immediately, but it didn't stop. So I resumed smoking to see if it would calm me down, it didn't help at all, I actually felt like it made me feel more paranoid and scared about being sick. I mentioned having a few panic attacks to my mother (who is a registered nurse) and she said it could of been triggered because I had never been away from home for so long. On top of all this happening, my grandmother was very ill and I was very very close to her my whole life. Well, I finally decided to try and make it home because my mom told me that she was probably not going to make it. The only thing is I didn't make plans soon enough and she passed away. I tried driving home but had a panic attack while driving on the interstate so we had to go back to the person's home. I actually had to get some of my family members to go up there to get me. Now, I'am home but I still feel edgy alot. While I was there I couldn't eat because I'd have terrible pains in my stomach and would feel like I needed to puke everytime I'd get really scared or stressed out about what I was thinking about. (My grandma, being there, being scared, etc.) I will be honest and say I was "sheltered" most of my life as well and what I experienced staying there was WAY out of my comfort zone. I often felt scared being there because of what was going on. People who lived there did really hard drugs and I saw really violent behavior. (This is one of the main reasons I pushed going back home, aside from my grandmother.) What I'm wondering is am I sick or is this all just stress? I just want to feel normal again and not SCARED all the ***n time. It's like, I can feel perfectly ok, but if something goes slighty wrong or I feel slightly off I start panicking and thinking I'm going to pass out or something worse. I have thought about going to a psychologist/doctor but I'm afraid too. I've had excellent health up to this point and have never needed to go to the doctor aside from shots. If any of you could help it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading and I'm sorry it was so long. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I'm 21 years old and female. It sounds like anxiety, but get a test done for pheocromocytoma as well because these benign pancreas tumours can cause EXACTLY what you have described! Good Luck, take it easy, you know "Don't worry be happy" and all that stuff. I play that song when I'm worried and end up screaming in laughter on my bed thinking what a huge tool I am! Cheers Hun, Pete :)
    Luciddreamer1966 8 Replies
    • January 18, 2009
    • 08:46 AM
    • 0
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  • I've had a panic disorder,brought on by a prescription drug that I was prescribed.Then,one day out of the blue,my Doctor say's Ok that's enough,and I'm not going to give these to you anymore,just like that.Then the panic attacks started:( They were very intense,and the longer it went on soon I begin to develop a case of agoraphobia,to go with it,and In my line of work this couldn't be.Finally I found a Psychiatrist,that knew about what was going on with me,and he helped me through it,and it sounds alot like I was going through.
    buckmc 4 Replies Flag this Response
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