Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

Sadness

Posted In: Mental conditions 2 Replies
  • Posted By: Sad_Angel
  • February 19, 2009
  • 05:35 AM

Well, I’ve been reading for the past 3 months these forums looking if some people are experiencing the same feelings as I ‘am. The first time I recognized change was when I started my new job 2 yrs ago and several people told me I change as in attitude (telling the truth I like who I was before I started this job thinking of it now), I work as a Medical Bill Collector for huge balances, I have tons of stress...but relieve it with the gym, but that's not the problem. The case is that in the past 3 months I’ve been having different emotions. Most strongly to sadness of everything, its weird because It doesn’t feel like depression, its so bad that I hardly ever eat food. Its hard for me to go to sleep (and its not the exhaustion of the gym, I go in the mornings), and when I do sleep I have nightmares of friends/family leaving or dying, I even felt that I cried once and felt the tears down my cheek (so weird). Also, I awoke twice choking and not breathing well (I’m not overweight) from a dream in which I was drowning, some friend advise I may have sleep apnea (need to go to a sleep study). Sometimes I feel the need to speed on my bike hoping to get into an accident and dying...but I'll never do that, yet that feeling has cross my mind many times. At work I have nice conversation to my co-workers /friends, even my patients. I don’t know what’s wrong with me...and my on-going nightmares. I’m not taking any medication, I’m economically stable, everything is fine in my life. I live by myself also….and visit my sister which I love her so much. I may need to talk to a psychiatrist if this persist. My main reason I’m posting this out is that I need to know that someone out there may have the same feeling as I ‘am and would like to get some type of feedback that this is just a phase. Thank you for your time reading my thread.

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2 Replies:

  • SadAngel,Depression can be insidious--it can really creep up on you and you don't have to feel sad all the time or cry a lot for you to have depression. You have many of the classic signs....sleeping too much or too little, nightmares, worry about loved ones leaving, change in occupation, Stress is a huge one, eating habits change (in your case, no appetite), nightmares, suicidal ideation, etc, etc...You need to talk to someone about all this. I had Major Depressive Disorder for 20+ years of my life. I, too, had thoughts of suicide.....but after 20 years of feeling so badly, mentally and physically.....I did the unthinkable and almost succeeded in taking my own life (my heart stopped for 4 minutes and I was in a coma for a week). I never thought I would have actually tried something like that, but it happened to me. :( I kept not believing I was actually depressed because I was always functional and didn't fit my idea of depression.....but it's sneaky. I've been cleared of the diagnosis for about a year and a half--there is hope and many things you can do about this. I didn't use meds because they just didn't work for me and caused massive side-effects, but the option should be considered. I used CBT-like approaches, therapy and massage for the stress. Please go talk to a therapist or someone you trust about all this--it really does take over. The choking while you dreamed about drowning....it could be sleep apnea, that should definitely be ruled out. You don't have to be overweight to have this issue, other things can contribute too. However, it's also possible that you had psychosomatic symptoms of what you were dreaming about. Sometimes the mental thoughts transfer over to actual, real physical symptoms. Do you feel rested when you awake, even if you have a nightmare? Having nightmares is actually (usually) a symptom of stress and anxiety. Controlling your stress levels and dealing with any anxiety that you have in your life should help these. I wish I could tell you that this is 'just a phase' but I cannot. Depression is persistent unless you do something about it--it only gets worse in my experience until you actively change it. But, there is hope, you can get rid of it all-together! It takes a real effort from you (and that can be difficult when you are depressed, rather like an endless loop--you must Choose to break the cycle). Discover why you are so stressed, there are real physical ramifications to on-going high stress levels. For me, much of all of this comes down to a choice....I can choose to continue the thought process that leads me to depression, or I can choose differently. It's not that easy, but it boils down to choice. I'm in control of me and my thoughts, no one or nothing else. Best wishes to you! You really can break this cycle, but you have to admit you're in it in the first place and work to change it. :)
    Harmonium 322 Replies
    • February 19, 2009
    • 04:15 PM
    • 0
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  • Well, I’ve been reading for the past 3 months these forums looking if some people are experiencing the same feelings as I ‘am. The first time I recognized change was when I started my new job 2 yrs ago and several people told me I change as in attitude (telling the truth I like who I was before I started this job thinking of it now), I work as a Medical Bill Collector for huge balances, I have tons of stress...but relieve it with the gym, but that's not the problem. The case is that in the past 3 months I’ve been having different emotions. Most strongly to sadness of everything, its weird because It doesn’t feel like depression, its so bad that I hardly ever eat food. Its hard for me to go to sleep (and its not the exhaustion of the gym, I go in the mornings), and when I do sleep I have nightmares of friends/family leaving or dying, I even felt that I cried once and felt the tears down my cheek (so weird). Also, I awoke twice choking and not breathing well (I’m not overweight) from a dream in which I was drowning, some friend advise I may have sleep apnea (need to go to a sleep study). Sometimes I feel the need to speed on my bike hoping to get into an accident and dying...but I'll never do that, yet that feeling has cross my mind many times. At work I have nice conversation to my co-workers /friends, even my patients. I don’t know what’s wrong with me...and my on-going nightmares. I’m not taking any medication, I’m economically stable, everything is fine in my life. I live by myself also….and visit my sister which I love her so much. I may need to talk to a psychiatrist if this persist. My main reason I’m posting this out is that I need to know that someone out there may have the same feeling as I ‘am and would like to get some type of feedback that this is just a phase. Thank you for your time reading my thread. I have depression myself and I have experienced all of your symptoms. You say it doesn't feel like depression. It may be that it has crept up on you so slowly that you haven't noticed it (this happened to me). The nightmares could be a mix between depression related anxiety, and depression. Its common to think about loved ones dying when you have depression. Anyway I have a few questions for you.1. Are you still enjoying life?2. Do you feel like in the grand scheme of things you don't matter?3. Does exercise help at all with the feeling?
    davidmt1 11 Replies
    • February 22, 2009
    • 06:26 AM
    • 0
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