Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

really need advice quick!!

Posted In: Mental conditions 6 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • January 30, 2007
  • 09:58 PM

My 10 yr. old son has been talking in class ALOT. everyday it is a big problem. he has some autism traits and is on zoloft for depression. i cannot get him to quit and the school has called everyday and is expecting me to find an answer and i am out of ideas. the autism isn't much of a factor, we have just gone through testing and it wasn't anything to concerning. i have put this poor child through everything since he was 2 and we haven't found anything but this is too much this last school year. HELP PLEASE!!!

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  • What about his talking is disruptive or disturbing? I have a daughter 9, who suffers from depression and has ALWAYS been in the hot seat for her socializing, and just simply could not contain her desire to "share" whatever was on her mind with SOMEONE. I have a feeling that this is due to the stress felt at home. Suffering from depression myself, I remember as a child(before finding out what was going on and being treated), I'd feel fine at school and wanted to express myself and get attention from friends(I forgot to mention.....she inherited the trait:) ), but once I was home, especially in the evening, the depression became overwhelming. Now, I was abused, and always assumed that my mother had "caused" my depression. I was frantic to make sure that I read every parenting guide and book that I could get my hands on, as to not cause my own children the same pain and suffering that I felt she'd burdened me with. Made no difference. My oldest daughter started showing signs of depression at the age of 2, and though I put forth the effort to be supportive and encouraging(and neither degrade nor bludgeon her with things), she still seems to be every bit as mentally distraught as I was, or her emotional pain is equivalent. This is really hard for me. I always thought that it was something that I could prevent, but I can't even help her find relief most of the time. HERE IS THE WONDERFUL NEWS FOR US~ This year, she has the most incredible teacher. She's young, vibrant, hilarious and absolutely consumed with the children's frame of mind in addition to trying to cram it full of knowledge. She has rules and guidelines just like every teacher, but the difference is that she shows the children the level of appreciation and respect that they show her. There are a couple of children who stay on a disciplinary ladder, but for doing things that are really negative and unhealthy, not for things that are perfectly normal, like developing social skills. I thought it was FABULOUS when I went to conference with her, she boasted about how she'd been teaching a history lesson, and noted that Alabama and Mississippi used to be one state, when Caden blurted out, "What was the capital?...Jackgomerey?" and made her fall to the floor, laughing in histerics. Caden's always made good grades, but this year(she's in 4th grade) her semester avgs. were almost all 98-100 w/ one 96! Ms. Lee says, "Well, she's just a genius." but I know that it's Ms. Lee that's the genius. The children enjoy interacting and listening to the things that she shares with them, because she makes them all feel like geniuses, boldly recognizing their strong points. Try talking with the teacher and find out if your son's behavior is really out of line, or if his teacher's level of tolerence just doesn't coincide with his need for integrating learning with social interaction. Good Luck! Parenting is always filled with challenging hurdels and obstacles....all we can do is try our best to encourage our children to make wise desicions that will enable them healthy and happy lives. Though it's many times hit and miss, letting them know that you love them and are devoted to their well being is the most important factor. Best Wishes :)
    FixMEdoc 53 Replies
    • January 30, 2007
    • 10:57 PM
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  • is this problematic child physically small?was his birth weight low?sounds irrelevant,i realise, but it might be indicative of something worth knowing,and with theraputic implications.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • January 30, 2007
    • 11:40 PM
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  • I was put on Zoloft in my 40's - after a year it stopped working, and i started getting violent impulses that as an adult, i only just stopped myself from acting on. I went off it, under doctor's supervision, and had nasty physical symptoms. I've since learned that i was lucky, they only went on for about 6 weeks, there's others who've had side effects for 6 years! Why would anyone would put a child (with a still-growing brain) on a chemical that works by (we think) messing with the brain's ability to function. I feel sick when i read that a child is on this kind of drug - it's bad enough we give our kids speed (AKA Ritalin) but Zoloft? ****s wept! Have you tried addressing your child's problems with diet? There have been several studies done on children (right up to late adolescence) that show just feeding them good whole food, without additives, low in salt and sugar, will change their behaviour and their grades so much you won't recognise them. Children don't usually act out for no reason, despite the current fashion to ignore nurture and just fill them up with pills - can you honestly say you're not the root of the problem? Do you provide a steady and solid parenting style with firm clear boundaries? Good luck, and for the love of God - or your child - don't use drugs to address problems in their behaviour unless you've honestly tried everything else first.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • January 31, 2007
    • 05:47 AM
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  • thanks for the advice. no, he was not a small baby infact, he was rather big. as far as it went yesterday with the teacher, i decided to put some restrictions on activities that he enjoys after school if it continues. this teacher feels it is a HUGE disruption in her class. we don't see eye to eye alot. she had mentioned to other parents my child was on medication earlier this year so i really have let communication slow since, well on anything other than school itself with her. the concern was whether or not he knew he was talking to himself and i believe he does, this works for attention so why not do it? as far as home goes, he isn't abused. when he was 1 1/2 yrs. old we left his father who was abusive to me and i think some of that stemed into the depression plus i have been hospitalized in the past with depression also (when i was a teen).Again, thank you for the advice and i think eventually this will work out. i myself am not that concerned but more irritated with school systems lately.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • January 31, 2007
    • 08:15 PM
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  • :) I totally support your use of meds to keep your child's mental health at it's best capacity. We don't have all of the answers about what's "best" about anything in life....we just do the best we can. I commend you for being concerned enough about your child's emotional well being, to take action, and seek medical advice, to try and provide him with more happiness and a better sense of well being. I would suggest that you see if maybe changing his SSRI may help. I have tried Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Paxil, Paxil XR, Buspar, Levequin and 2-3 others before landing with Prozac because the others I had experienced so many negative side affects from. It's much harder for a child to verbally express that he's not feeling good because he can't deal with the way he emotionally responds to the every day things in life(mood swings....which can be a side affect of many of these meds)...as it is for him to tell you that his throat hurts. I'm pretty aware of my emotional state and perceptive to the way I react to things, but even as an adult, I still have mood fluctuations occasionally and respond to something one way one moment, and another way later, without at first being aware. It's our responsibility as parents to seek options available, to try and lead our children into healthy and happy adulthood. As long as you are weighing the pros and cons and continuing to try and find the best solution for your child, you are putting more effort into your role as a parent, than so many others. Everyone has different opinions and different perceptions of what is the "right thing to do". It seems that you are making choices based on what may help you find the best result for your son, and seeking answers....and for that I commend you. Best of wishes to you and your family:)
    FixMEdoc 53 Replies
    • January 31, 2007
    • 08:16 PM
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  • some thoughts for you.1.teacher should not gossip ,but may feel as upset ,in her way as you do.2.it is difficult for a child,especially s boy,to insulate himself from his mothers feelings of unhappiness.i know i was that boy!obviously your feelings are as they are and i dont want you to go pretending otherwise.but you must know that above all he wants to protect you.---and his difficulty is that he knows he is not up to the job.let him see what competence you can muster,in terms which a little boy can understand.not easy i know.3.talking to himself:if he was confident that he would be listened to,perhaps he would be prepared to talk more to others.ask the teacher to ask his classmates what he says when he is doing this.they will not know,and this will be her opportunity to propose this as a class problem,maybe starting with a "round"of "when i talk and nobody listens ,i feel................."4 .a danger which faces all single parents is the difficulty of avoiding a relationship which is too intense.do not attempt to compensate too much for absent father.5. after school activities:more not less,and if possible away from the School group.could he learn a group sport skill? 6. this boy has suffered enough .minimise punishment. 7.remember that teacher is not a psychiatrist and that there are ten thousand other things on her mind.she is undertrained and overworked.you know what it is like looking after one!she will be betterat helping you if you find ways to help and support her!8.consider what you are modelling for this boy. remember that after his dad,the person he most wants to be like is you.model what you want him to do.(and how you want him to feel)9.every night as part of the "going to bed "ritual"tell him in chronological order all the things he has done right that day,and how good it has made you feel.no song and dance ,just emotional honesty.10 adapt some folk tales as bed time stories for him changing the names so that he is the hero.a story....ten minutes ...every night. --------if any of this is helpful ,let me know.there might be more. good luck.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 3, 2007
    • 11:38 AM
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