Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

nervous breakdown?

Posted In: Mental conditions 6 Replies
  • Posted By: kathryns
  • October 24, 2006
  • 05:56 AM

Hello....
I am not sure where to begin this. It all started when i lost my twin sister and my life has never been the same since. I have diabetes and the complications that go along with it and also have PVC's. I have a 18 yr old daughter who tells me I am losing my insanity every other day and disprects me and a mother who never believed in me ever. I feel like I am at the end. I cannot hold a job due to leg pain and swelling. Went to my doctor and of course all he could say is excersize. I think... it is diabetic neuropathy. Well that is my present health. Recently....I cannot get along with my 18 yr old due the fact of how she's been treating me and with everything going on in my life....I totally exploded the other night when we got into it. I was throwing stuff and pounding on my husband he was trying to stop me. Then i just collapsed. I believe this is where i had a breakdown. I have had more than one of these but this one was the worse. The things she was saying to me was confusing me to know end and I wanted it to stop and that is the only way i knew how. My heart was aching so bad and the more she said the worse it got. Now I feel like no one completely. I am numb inside. I have tried to find the person I was before over and over. When my twin died, I lost part of me unlike losing a sybling, I feel lost, alone, half a brain, half a soul. Please understand me this is not something I have made up it is how I feel. I cannot go through what I have been through again, any of it. I always wondered what people were thinking when they committed suicide, how bad the pain must have been, and I am feeling that last hope now also. I never want to committ suicide but if i can't find help and this continues I am not sure what I will do. :confused:

please someone reply
kathryn

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6 Replies:

  • Hi Kathryn,I came across your message while looking for someone who might understand the depression I'm dealing with. I have been treated with anti-depressants for the last 5 years. They will work well for a while then stop and I'll have to be switched to something else. I have a very good life with very little stress; almost unheard of these days. But when I have my episodes of depression, as I am having now, there is nothing and no one that can take the pain away until the next prescription kicks in. I recently lost my mother very suddenly 8 months ago and am just now grieving because the medication I was on numbed my emotions so well. She was my best friend and I don't think it is something you ever get over. Time just makes it a little less painful, I guess. I put my mom through so much when I was a teenager, so all I can say is try not to take it personally. I know my mom did, and I hurt her terribly. Thankfully, our relationship was much different by the time I lost her. The teenage years are so difficult and as a teenager you do not understand that you actually have the ability to hurt your parents. You are just too self-consumed. I would strongly recommend that you talk to your doctor about your emotional health. There are so many medications out there now that can get you through the kinds of difficulties you are dealing with. They just give you a little inner strength to cope. Someone like me will probably always have to have that help, but you may only need it temporarily. I wish you the best.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • October 31, 2006
    • 05:39 PM
    • 0
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  • Hi toosad, Thank you for your advice. Since i wrote my nervous breakdown entry alot has happened. I decided that if I was going to continue living I had to make some changes with myself and how I dealt with stress, anxiety and my daughter. Also....god has sent me and my family a blessing that already has seemed to change all of us. We found out 2 days ago that our 18 yr. old daughter is pregnant. It's been a huge wave of emotions for all of us but mainly for her. There had been something all along and that is why her and I weren't getting along. We are back to being very very close more than we ever were and to tell you the truth after absorbing it all in, our family seems to be much more of a family than ever. We've excepted it and are going to give the baby the best life we can. I am hoping with being a grandma for the 1st time its going to help me tremendously. If I continue to become depressed even before and after the new addition to our family I will return back to anti-depressants. I have been on them before but I seem to always have some reaction to them. My mom takes anti-depressants and has been on them most of her life. I feel that if we find something in our lives to trigger happiness that it will help our minds. I hope that you don't continue to keep having to take anti-depressants I will say a prayer for you that god will send you a blessing in disguise also. Not necessarily a child but something he knows will make you happy again in life. I would love to continue talking together when you have time. Wish the best for you. Stay in touch. Kathryn :) aka New Happy Grandma:)
    kathryns 3 Replies
    • November 1, 2006
    • 03:05 AM
    • 0
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  • Hi Kathryn, having done some research on depression for a loved one, i came accross a free course called the depression learning path.You can download it free from the website below but i believe its an excellent course and WILL help you. They have a unique study plan and its well written in easy to undersatnd english.Try it and i hope you feel it benefits you.http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/Rob
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • November 20, 2006
    • 11:04 PM
    • 0
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  • Hello.... I am not sure where to begin this. It all started when i lost my twin sister and my life has never been the same since. I have diabetes and the complications that go along with it and also have PVC's. I have a 18 yr old daughter who tells me I am losing my insanity every other day and disprects me and a mother who never believed in me ever. I feel like I am at the end. I cannot hold a job due to leg pain and swelling. Went to my doctor and of course all he could say is excersize. I think... it is diabetic neuropathy. Well that is my present health. Recently....I cannot get along with my 18 yr old due the fact of how she's been treating me and with everything going on in my life....I totally exploded the other night when we got into it. I was throwing stuff and pounding on my husband he was trying to stop me. Then i just collapsed. I believe this is where i had a breakdown. I have had more than one of these but this one was the worse. The things she was saying to me was confusing me to know end and I wanted it to stop and that is the only way i knew how. My heart was aching so bad and the more she said the worse it got. Now I feel like no one completely. I am numb inside. I have tried to find the person I was before over and over. When my twin died, I lost part of me unlike losing a sybling, I feel lost, alone, half a brain, half a soul. Please understand me this is not something I have made up it is how I feel. I cannot go through what I have been through again, any of it. I always wondered what people were thinking when they committed suicide, how bad the pain must have been, and I am feeling that last hope now also. I never want to committ suicide but if i can't find help and this continues I am not sure what I will do. :confused: please someone replykathrynHi I have never gone to a web site and am computer iliterate.The only reason i came to this sight was because i have had some severe head trama in the last couple of months and now find myself with a bad black eye and a fractured nose. I am in extreme pain just sitting here writting this. I was just looking for symptoms because i dont feel well at all ....and do suffer from bad depression but do not take anything for it and i hide it .Lately i have been feeling the same way but for different reasons .I really dont understand what your daughter says to u ....maybe u can write again and explain.I truely feel for you because i grew up in a very abusive family in which horrible things were said and done . I grew up with alot of anger ,is there anything at home to make her resent u?I resented my adopted mom for not protecting me and to this day still cant look her in the eye but then again i never see her . This is a extreme case, my case sickand horrible things happened .Your daughter probly feels trapped and dosent know how to help u . Are u lonley?do u have friends ?My name is lisa(not my real name )and i am 34 yrs old with a 16 year old son and i am trapped in a abusive relationship. To look at me and to know me u would never know. I am very beautiful (at least people tell me that )i think im average ,i am fit ,my son is honour roll but my life is a mess. My adopted family was evil and the other kid they adopted used to molest and stalk me for years .My life has been good when it comes to being treated special because of the way i look but shallow and life a bad nightmare .I found my real mom and she doent want to see me and my real father dose not know i am alive . I have 2 real friends and find people to be shallow and dont like me for the right reasons and are never there when u need them . I am so hurt i cant work and am scared to death that something is wrong with me since such tramma. I was depressed before this and that is why i got a little job but i dont kill myself because our children need us and will feel worse than we do on a bad day. I will check for our note again but i dont want to sign up because im hesitent because of all the negitive stuff i hear about some of the creepy people who surf the net. I hope u get this and remember your being here u have a purpose ,the one thing u did was made me feel better and i will be thinking possitive thoughts for u i hope u know ur special and thanks for being so honest.Hang in ther .....Lisa from Calgary Canada.Please wrie me Just knowing there is someone else out there feeling the same way is comforting ....I would like to talk again this is all new for me and will try to remember how i got to this sight . Hope to hear from u soon and keep ur head high and remember mean words are a sign of a hurting heart.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • December 4, 2006
    • 00:54 AM
    • 0
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  • Please try and seek help for your relationship and for the sake of your son. I am sure there are plenty organisation in Canada that deals with domestic violence.Have been suffering from bipolar disorder from 1997and kept it to myself for years. I was in such depressive stupor I sometimes stayed in bed for 3 days without leaving my bedroom. For years i entertained the thought of commiting suicide but did not tell anyone. Blurted out to my family doctor in 2002 that "i think i have depression" and he asked me why I kept it to myself for such a long time, that he knew but was waiting for me to broach the subject. Got an appointment to see a psychiatrist the same week, in a country where the waiting list to see one could be up to a year. If I knew, I would have sought for help earlier.
    talented_crackhead 10 Replies
    • December 20, 2006
    • 11:57 PM
    • 0
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  • to kathryn - Glad yu are feeling better re;daughter pregnant. Do not forget - yu need you time also- exercise is the key to getting out of depression, and generally feeling good - and it makes you feel better about yourself. its all good. Yu said something abut leg problems. There are a lot of ways to exercise - Otherwise, it will help with greiving over your twin sister, Yu need to get your "groove" back. Yu have a husband, roof over your head and food on the table - and hopefully health insurance. Take time out to ck on your fianacial situation - so yu are saving money for retirement, paying off cc debt. Get you and the financial household in better health - looking and feeling good. Just advise I gave to myself.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • February 2, 2008
    • 07:26 PM
    • 0
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