Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

My wife has lost her mind (Paranoid Delusions)

Posted In: Mental conditions 28 Replies
  • Posted By: Johnriggle
  • January 31, 2007
  • 11:34 PM

I about to lose my mind as my wife refuses to get help. Here's the problem, she's having paranoid delusions. She thinks that everyone in Houston is talking about her. That's she the talk of the town. Even David Letterman talks about her on his show.

She her's teenage girls and boys yelling "B!tch", "Crackhead", "****e", "Stupid b!tch", and more. These voice yell at her all day and all night. She's thinks the girls (14, 16, 17) that live downstairs are behind it. She thinks their friends stand outside our balcany and yell all day and all night. When I ask her how anyone could stay up like that, she says, "They are young, they don't need to sleep."

We went into a Whataburger, and she nearly threw her food at the people behind the counter, because she knew they were talking about her, she heard them. She knew they messed up her food.

She so tired of the voices, that she wants to kill the girls that live downstairs.

I tried to get her family to help, but they tell her she needs to pray and that "nothing" is wrong.

She won't get help. And in Texas unless she signs her self in, their isn't anything anyone can do unless that try to commit a act to hurt themselvers or to hurt others.

Last November she cut up her hands, took a bunch of Tylenol PM's. She called 911, and they took her to the Harris County Psychartric Clinic, or HCPC. She was evalutated for 10 weeks, but on some meds that really didn't help. And then much to my surprise sent her home.

Now she thinks that there's nothing wrong with her, because if something was wrong with her they would not have sent her home.

I'm about to give up, pack up what I can, and move out and leave her.

She spends most of the day and night waging war with the neighbors, yelling out the windows at them. Playing the TV loud in every room. Playing her stereo loud in every room.

She turns on the fans in the bathrooms to drown out the "voices". She once of those sleep aids that makes "sounds" like water running, thunderstorms, etc. She keeps that running all day and all night with the volume turned all the way up.

She will have that on, the TV blaring, her stereo on, her portable cd player on, with headphones, and will snap her head around and yell at people "outside" because they are screaming at her.

She fills up the sings with water because people can hear her through the pipes.

She thinks as soon as she says something, even in a whisper, in our apartment that everyone can hear her. That as soon as she says it, everyone nearby knows about it, and that they are telling the rest of Houston.

I've tried everything I can do to get her help. But she refuses to believe it.

Tells me she hates me because I don't support her. That she's wasted her life with me because I don't believe her. And at times she wants to kill me.

This morning we got into a fight, and she started to wreck our apartment. I still don't know what I'm coming home to.

She so convinced that these voices are real, that I don't know what to do.

Even when we are in the car, she thinks the people in cars around us, people walking the street, they are all calling her names and talking about her.

She will roll down the window and scream at people.

I took her up to my office, where we were the only people in the building, and that no one else was around, and could not be around. Even then she heard the voices. But for a few minutes part of her mind realized that was impossible. And for a few hours while we were there she agreed to get help. But as soon as we left, "people" started talking about her again, and she decided that I was wrong again.

My father is in the ICU in Georgia, and likely dying. He's my last living realative. My wife is nuts, and won't get treatment.

I'm starting to lose my grip on reallity. Falls from tall bridges are starting to look good to me.

I just can't take anymore fighting over people that aren't there. It's been like this since October.

So before I lose my grip, I've got to leave her. But I feel like I'm abanding her when she needs me the most.

She yells at me about not supporting her, when I feel like all I've done is try to support her.

I'm so god ***n angry at her. She'd rather believe this voices, then her own husband of almost 9 years.

***l if I owned a gun I'd be tempted to shoot her myself. She never shuts up. I never get a moments rest.

I have to try to wear ear plugs at home, and try to sleep with them too.

The she we just start yelling at me cause I'm not listening to her. I can go on and on and on about her crazy antics. She was in the hospital for Sickle Cell Anemia, and she wallked in the hallway in front of the nurse station, pull her pants down, stuck her finger inside herself, pull them out and tolk the nurse to go "F__ themselves!" And then walked out of the hospital and took a cab home.


Anyone have any ideas what I should do? Hitting her with a baseball bat that until she stops talking that would be bad? I mean I know it's bad, but part of me just wants this to be OVER. I'm starting to see signs that my own personality is cracking. Post tramatic Disorder? I know I'm losing my grip.

Anyone in the Houston Area, have any ideas?

Help before I lose it myself....


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28 Replies:

  • "anyone in the houston area, have any ideas?"..why is that? i'm not from houston but i have an idea anyway. here it is:having paranoid delusions can come from a sleep issue. has she been losing any sleep all this time? or having anything that even interrupts her sleep (sometimes an underlying sleep disorder can occur, where sleep gets interrupted ALOT & the person wont realize how much it's being messed up). if her sleep isnt 8 hours a day & restful, it can cause those symptoms you've described. if this is the case, try this website for more education on "sleep issues":http://sleepinformationfacts.ebloggy.com/i once had "delusions & believed in voices being real" too, it was my sleep that was messed up. needless to say, it's now gone.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • February 5, 2007
    • 09:11 AM
    • 0
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  • You don't say how old your wife is or how long this has been going on ... i'm no expert but have experience of mental illness in my family ... it sounds like more than sleep deprivation alone, although when my mum and brother are going through a bad spell they don't sleep and it makes things a lot worse ... my brother is schizophrenic and my mum is manic depressive ... so as someone who has tried to support others for years here is my advice ... you need to take care of yourself first and if that means leaving, if only for a while, then so be it ... you need to leave your wife with a list of phone numbers she can call if she wants/needs help, professional help that is ... when you live with mental illness you live in a bizarre alternate reality that becomes your normality and you can get sucked in and taken down ... it's even possible that your support is enabling your wife to tread water and avoid getting the help she needs ... your leaving might be what she needs to enable her to recognise that she has problems and seek help. The story of The Bridge helped me to distance myself when I was near breaking point ... heres a link http://www.thecruxmovie.com/pdf/TheBridgeShortStory.pdf
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • February 11, 2007
    • 00:54 AM
    • 0
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  • Excellent advice from Jools, I have to say.I identify with much of what he/she said, as somebody who is also living with a family member with mental health difficulties.You really do need to distance yourself as you can quite quickly get sucked in to the alternative reality mentioned.What you do can become functional for that person (i.e. 'helping' but not really helping, by enabling behaviours to persist).While alternative strategies may not go down very well with the person - as they've been used to YOU behaving in a certain way (e.g. doing things FOR them) they may actually be the best for everyone in the long run. Good luck :)
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • February 14, 2007
    • 06:38 PM
    • 0
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  • How old is your wife? And ow long ago did this all start (the little things, in the beginning)?Also, how long has it been going on? Depending on age, it can be Schizophrenia, advanced case of Syphilis, Other thingstape worm in her brain (usually from pork),Tape worm in stomach (usually would have pain as well),tumor,Drugs (believe it or not, the people that are least expected to do it are the ones that hide it best).I hope this helps, you can call her Primary Care Doc and tell them what is goin on. You are her Husband, and you are her closest "relative", you could technically admit her against her will, but I would only do this in worst case scenario, if she does get admitted, and turns out to be fine, you'll lose your wife, and could possibly face charges....Best of luck, and hope you find the problem.
    marriedwithchildren 6 Replies
    • February 17, 2007
    • 00:21 AM
    • 0
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  • Best of luck to you. Here in Austin TX, we can call the mental health deputies and they will come out and check someone out and then cart them off to the mental hospital. Contact your sheriff's office and ask if they have a mental health deputy. I know you posted that she can only be hospitalized if they are a harm to themselves or others, that's what APD tells me too. Again call the sheriff.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • February 17, 2007
    • 01:40 AM
    • 0
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  • John said she has threatened to kill people, won't the police intervene out there for that?? Can you drag her to the er when she is at her worse, they should be able to keep her then. All the others gave good advice. I would like to add that Thyroid and Lyme disease/ all tick disease can cause this too....Sending Prayers to you John .
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • February 20, 2007
    • 00:53 PM
    • 0
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  • Hello from Dallas. There is a great forum for Dillusional Disorder at http://www.psychforums.comOn the main web page, from "Select a Forum Topic" List, choose "Delusional Disorder" under the heading "Psychotic Disorders" .There is a wealth of information there, including how to have a person committed to a mental hospital.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • have you tried going to church together and praying this away? God is so powerful. There is nothing that He cannot do or fix. He is the Great Physician and if you have all your faith and trust in Him, He will answer prayers."Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding..."I will be praying that your wife gets well and that God will grant you patience and give you strength to continue to be by her side and see her through this dark storm......
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • :) Call your Minister if you have one and if you don't go to church, look into finding one. Have the Minister come to your home and pray with you and your wife. Ask him to also Bless your house! Then go to church as often as possible. I believe that God answers prayer.Wouldn't you like to see your wife well again?:confused: All you have to do is ask God for his help!Hugs Shirley
    Shirley M 21 Replies Flag this Response
  • You also might want to consult with an attorney. If she refuses to get care and she cannot legally be compelled to get help, you might have to jump ship to save yourself. It's possible she poses a threat to you if she becomes violent. While there's a lot of romanticism attached to sticking it out in a marriage, and compassion is always a good thing, you sound miserable and desperate--and your wife's family aren't stepping up to the plate to help. An attorney may be able to advise you about your options.So sorry to hear about your situation.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • You might try checking with the NAMI - the National Association (or was it Alliance?) for Mental Illness. You can find them on the internet - search under NAMI +Houston They have support groups all over Houston and while they can not tell you exactly what to do, you can learn about resources available and hear others' stories on where they got help for their loved ones and how they handled the nightmare. They have a FREE family-to-family class of several weeks that's really good to attend - one night a week. Has a ton of really good information free and as I recall (I went to the class) there were some doctors mentioned who had been helpful. Also, many people in there have adult children who have serious mental illnesses and need to be institutionalized. If you have insurance, and if not, if you can possibly afford it, I would get to a psychologist or social worker therapist IMMEDIATELY to find help for yourself in dealing with this nightmare. I've heard that Dr. Earl Saltzman (MD) (psychiatrist) on Dairy Ashford is supposed to be very good but I don't know him, haven't been to him, and can't personally really vouch. There is another person in his practice by the same name but a PhD from what I see on the net. I'm not a doctor or therapist but it really sounds like your wife might have schizophrenia. Meds have helped a lot of people with those disorders. But, first make sure you're protected. Threatening to kill others is significant in having someone committed. Maybe tape record her making the statements. Best to you in this awful situation.
    Sun4us 1 Replies
    • August 26, 2007
    • 04:39 AM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
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  • Try a divorce and find happiness for yourself, because she's a looney toon.
    Monsterlove 2,921 Replies
    • September 1, 2007
    • 04:37 AM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
  • You don't say how old your wife is or how long this has been going on ... i'm no expert but have experience of mental illness in my family ... it sounds like more than sleep deprivation alone, although when my mum and brother are going through a bad spell they don't sleep and it makes things a lot worse ... my brother is schizophrenic and my mum is manic depressive ... so as someone who has tried to support others for years here is my advice ... you need to take care of yourself first and if that means leaving, if only for a while, then so be it ... you need to leave your wife with a list of phone numbers she can call if she wants/needs help, professional help that is ... when you live with mental illness you live in a bizarre alternate reality that becomes your normality and you can get sucked in and taken down ... it's even possible that your support is enabling your wife to tread water and avoid getting the help she needs ... your leaving might be what she needs to enable her to recognise that she has problems and seek help. The story of The Bridge helped me to distance myself when I was near breaking point ... heres a link http://www.thecruxmovie.com/pdf/TheBridgeShortStory.pdfi agree 100% you must take care of yourself if you want to take care of her. i also come from a family history of mental ilness, and this is the right thing to do.
    oneofthedreamers 7 Replies
    • September 11, 2007
    • 10:00 PM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
  • Have you tried calling the clinic she was discharged from? Was she discharged on an out-patient basis? There has to be a doc or therapist that treated her at the clinic who would have experience with her history to help you. I also imagine if you take her to the ER and tell them she is threatening to hurt others that they would take her for 72 hours.She needs to be seen asap, before she loses her impluse control.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • October 1, 2007
    • 05:21 PM
    • 0
    Flag this Response
  • I am so sorry, you poor man. Your wife has a very serious mental disorder. You don't need superstition such as prayer, you need real help. Your wife probably needs to be institutionalized right now, she is in a very, very bad way, a very advanced case, and you need help and counselling to relieve some of the pain, and there will be a lot. Start with your family doctor. Your wife will proabbly never 'return' to you. But you should see that she is being properly cared for. You, sadly, need to move on. This part of you life is finished. Good luck.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • January 3, 2008
    • 01:49 PM
    • 0
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  • hello JohnRiggle,sounds like your wife has schizophrenia. you can pray for her if you want but this is an organic brain problem that needs medication to straighten her out. educate yourself on schizophrenia and go to NAMI's website. With the right antipsychotics your wife can be close to normal again. If you love her you will stand by her but she does need the help of a psychiatrist and will likely need meds for the rest of her life. also see what you can do to have her committed before she harms herself or others.good luck and I will pray for you.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies Flag this Response
  • Your wife has definitely had a psychotic break. She is not in tuned with reality and is operating out of her own (flawed) version of reality. I wouldn't recommend medications. Prayer can work but not just anybody can pray and get answered. I think the operative question is really, does she WANT to get better and can she even be truly communicated with? People usually don't just "get" psychotic out of the blue, they are usually made psychotic by the envionment, or always had it in them and chose gradually to let it take over. Assuming she is not choosing to be this way and enjoying it, on some level, try to find out what exactly the incident or ongoing circumstances were that triggerred this break.
    Non Servium 85 Replies
    • September 19, 2008
    • 00:11 AM
    • 0
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  • non servium,you don't know whereof you speak. first of all, praying for someone with schizophrenia is the same as praying for someone with a broken leg, since it is an organic brain syndrome, it will respond in a similar way. ever accomplished such a miracle? if not, it would be better for you not to comment. Second, no one "chooses" insanity, just as no one chooses a broken leg. your comments are what keeps up the ignorance and arrogance people have toward schizophrenic individuals. schizophrenia is an inherited condition, having very little if anything to do with the environment. no one choses gradually to let it take over.Thirdly, it is difficult to communicate with someone who isn't in their right mind. Medication is the only answer when someone is in such a state, and has worked miraculously for many, many patients.Get yourself educated.
    Anonymous 42,789 Replies
    • September 24, 2008
    • 07:39 PM
    • 0
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  • Wow. hijacking a mental health thread to debate about your personal beefs against the concept of "prayer" is a bit selfish. You can save your explanation of the bio-mechanical/materialist view of mental health and the universe. I'm familiar with it but I think it is myopic, fear-based, and juvenile. I predict you'll be sufferring from severe depression yourself soon if you don't already. About "choosing insanity" - people are capable of doing things mentally to make a given mental condition or predisposition better or worse. Its called Cognitive Therapy. So, if that is impossible, you may want to inform large portions of academia, since Cognitive Therapy is a widespread school of thought in Psychology. I had a schizophrenic roomate for 4 years and she was virtually cured by people such as myself and her friends. You don't KNOW a tiny shred of an echo of a shadow of a grain of a wisp of who I am, nor how much or how little I have done for the plight of schizophrenics, or anyone for that matter. So why not shut up about it? You have gone out of your way to personally attack me supposdely in the name of helping the original post-er. Your contention that somehow "people like me" are keeping schizophrenics down is idiotic and I can only assume you're boxing at some shadow or personal demon and I just ended up as a convenient effigy. And anyway, what kind of pathetic little sack of pustules goes around anonymously insulting people online, calling them ignorant and arrogant? Please ram your own attitude back where the sun don't shine. If you'd like to meet me at a gym somewhere, save your tough talk and insults for that - until then realize that insulting me as you hide behind a computer is ridiculous and typical of your whole whiney passive aggressive breed of misanthropic losers. Oh, someone dared to mention "prayer" somewhere? Boo hoo hoo, I bet that just got your panties in a bunch to no end! Statistically, at least 95% of everyone professes a belief in some sort of supreme being. So if you have a problem with god or the trappings of same, instead of whining at me why don't you go protest society on a streetcorner somewhere? No one gradually lets schizophrenia take over? I don't have time to re-educate your ******s on the nature of the mind. Schizohprenic tendencies are widespread in the population, many "normal" people have schizophenic tendencies. It is quite possible to let those tendencies, or any other tendencies toward any given mental illness, take over if they are indulged. If an alcoholic goes to a bar, he's going to have a tough time staying sober now isn't he? This is the second thread where you felt the need to stalk me by the way. Can't you formulate opinions on people's diagnoses without reacting off of mine like some barnicle on my coat tails? This crap always happens online. Weak people like yourself start forming some sort of bizarre personal relationship with my postings - as if the posting was directly talking to you and pertained to your personal life and personal pet causes and beefs with the world and you need to "show me" by flagging me down and arguing with me in "public." As if you couldn't have made your points in a polite way while leaving me out of it? Its laughable that you say I should educate myself. Do you realize what forum you are on? There are page after page of accounts here that detail all the ways the mental health system, including your beloved pharma, are failing. You say educate myself, and then you tout psych meds as some sort of miracle! Ya know what? If you like the pills and meds, more power to ya! Go ahead, take those pills buddy! They are EXACTLY analogous to putting a splint on a broken leg, except inside a brain. It's just that simple, right? There is absolutely no place for our "debate" to go, since you believe everything is only mechanics. I have a lot better things to do than debate "free will" with some fool in cyberspace. That is such a rudimentary "issue" in Philosophy that you should be embarassed to even be hung up on it, seriously, usually only 18 year old Philosophy 101 students desperately posturing to be "intellectual" have trouble grasping the concept. Everyone else is too busy actually utilizing free will to doubt it. I mean ... it is completely axiomatic to anyone living in reality. People like you choose to act like dickwads and then want to debate whether it was "really" a choice. Okay, maybe you just have the dickwad "gene" and it was all predetermined! But no, really, I'll try to take your advice and "get myself educated," we can't all be as adroit as yourself.
    Non Servium 85 Replies
    • September 25, 2008
    • 01:24 AM
    • 0
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  • I have had these exact feelings for short periods of time in the past when I was supposedly having a manic episode. It lasted for at least 3 weeks. But I will tell you what:Nutrition, sleep, and regular social/work activities are the ONLY ways to keep a human being healthy and SANE. Women are especially sensitive to these things as they constantly have hormonal fluctuations (unless of course she is taking BC). Does your wife work? Go to church? Have a group of friends? Do you own any pets or have any children? Does she have any hobbies?Most people want to hospitalize/divorce/hurt or leave their family member or spouse in situations like this, but tend to be completely ignorant of the actual welfare and condition of the person. All you see is what she is saying she thinks. What is she DOING with her life? How is she doing? Does she eat well? Exercise? Take vitamins? Drink too much? Use drugs or take diet pills? The possibilities of what can drive someone nuts like this after 9 years of apparent normalcy are endless, but if you care you must take the initiative to answer these questions.I have met women who also have this same condition, and really what it takes to break it psychologically, is a person who can calmly and unabashedly sit down and talk them out of their thoughts. You don't say things like : you sound crazy, listen to yourself, I can't believe you etc. You SHOULD try to approach it this way:The thoughts you are having are just YOUR THOUGHTS, they are NOT reflective of reality. That is NOT reality. (Emphasize only in a NON-demeaning calm fashion). I said this to a woman once who was obsessed with the thought that everyone was talking about her, she was very agitated and felt persecuted, and when I said this simple statement she immediately became calm, somewhat confused, and then quiet. It was very interesting. It may help if you can get a person who is NOT a doctor but possibly a stranger, maybe even a woman, to calmly and gently say things like this to her.I would also suggest a christian counselor if she is not opposed to the idea. Even if you may not be religious it is something that can definitely have a huge impact.
    wildhare 7 Replies
    • October 19, 2008
    • 03:14 AM
    • 0
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