Hello,im 25yrs old and after discovering this site it seems i have been living with SPD(Schizoid personality disoder),clinical depression,and many other mental illness for about 7 years now.I have not gone to a doctor because i think to myself "how can medication change the way i think?" and "if medication can change the way i think i would not be me".And with therapy i say to myself "why would i talk to a stranger about myself,how can they help me if i can't help myself?.
My father is diagnosed with BPD,my uncle had schizophrenia and killed himself.It seems i have inherited what they had and added to it.I live with my grandma,i do not work(havn't for almost 4 years now).i have no friends,no girlfriend,or even a disire to have one.My left arm resembles something got got into a fight with a weedwhacker.My teeth are falling out of my head,my room is covered with a layer of trash.Even as i write this i am crying.
Why am i telling you this?i don't know,maybe to feel better about myself in some wierd way,or maybe i think if some of you see this it may help you feel better about yourself.All i know is that im passed the point of no return...falling further into an abysmal muck,a downward spiral into oblivion.
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