Okay, so I’m 21 year young and have noticed there’ssomething wrong with me (at least I think there is). I have a psychiatrist but am having an anxietyattack at the thought of having to call and schedule an appointment (I was justassigned to a new psychiatrist because my previous one was deemed ‘incompetent’and I had only seen her once before). Why am I just now bringing this up? I’mjust starting to notice I’ve been like this my whole life. I grew up in a LARGEfamily and was one of the middle children after being orphaned by my parents atan early age. I was a loner type growing up but there were so many distractionsin the house, I never paid attention to what was going on with me. Now that Iam on my own I’ve noticed that:
I basically live inmy head and have an extremely active imagination.
(ie: I look forward to sleeping so I can dream about somefictitious person and this fictitious person’s life)
I tell lies abouteverything that’s not important or relevant.
(ie: I go to a simple, uneventful DR’s appointment. However,when I am home and talking to someone, I got pulled over for speeding butsomehow sweet talked my way out of a ticket)
I avoid the going outin public, even if it means missing appointments or important deadlines.
(ie: I had to request a transcript from some college to getinto another college, meaning I had to gain access to a public fax machine tosend a letter to first college. I missed my deadline because I couldn’t work upthe nerve to go into FedEx Office).
I limit my socialinteractions and avoid personal conversations with people.
(ie: When in a social setting, I sit quietly to myself andwhen I am approached, I give quick, dismissive answers or comments)
I take things deemedas ‘unimportant’ or ‘no big deal’ personally.
(ie: I went to sell my old laptop, however, I was told theycouldn’t accept it at that location but they were sure another would. I criedfor about ten minutes in my car before heading home in defeat. )
I cannot carry on anormal conversation with my peers but can do so quite easily with ones olderthan me.
I am apathetictowards death.
Any thoughts on what could be going on? Like I said, I havea psychiatrist and will schedule an appointment (eventually) as soon as I canbuild myself up to that.