I am a 64 yr old woman and I have had chronic depression and anxiety for most of my life, as long as I can remember, I was a change of life baby so my parents are long gone and all my siblings except for one who is a recluse and has lung cancer. We are not close. I was not diagnosed until 10 yrs ago. I was also diagnosed with dysthymia at the same time. I didn't really understand what dysthymia was until just lately. I have been taking Paxil 40 mgs and 30 mgs of cymbalta for awhile now and thought it was really helping me a lot. But lately I have been having episodes of extreme sadness, and this is not my normal depression. I think it may have to do with the empty nest syndrome that I am going through. I have 4 children. One son I have just found again after giving him up for adoption at age 5, I do not live close to him so can't see him as I would like, My only daughter is bipolar and has left an abusive relationship last summer, and is out of control , out on the street, involved with drugs, her 2 children are angry and will have nothing to do with her. I have tried to help her so many times that I am burned out and had to retire and give up driving because of the stress. I do not trust her enough to have her in my life right now, My middle son lives about 30 miles from me and we see each other very little, He is married and pretty much a loner. His father and I divorced when he was 12 and he decided he wanted to live with his alcoholic father, because I was depressed , not on meds, very anxious, and not in the best of moods at that time. Because of this he was raised by an alcoholic father who let him do what ever he wanted. Him and I are on good terms, but just seldom see each other and I still have guilty feelings about that time in my life when he went to live with his Dad. My youngest son, was a gift from God because I was very much in love with his father who was the love of my life. Unfortunately, when my son was 10 his father was killed by the State police because of his PTSD. I raised my youngest son alone and my other kids where out of the house so it was just him and I. I believe that I raised him the best that I could. He turned out to be a very nice, respectful creative artist who just recently married and just had his first child. I was very happy that he found the love of his life. He was very choosy and His wife and him are a perfect match. I am so happy for them , and they have been very blessed. His wife has a very well paid job, they are buying there house from her grandmother and pay like rent, My son is staying home now,and learning to be a house husband for when my daughter in law goes back to work. He also paints and sells his paintings. Just since the baby has been born , I have had a very hard time with my dysthymia. I feel as if I am no longer needed, I have only been able to see my grand baby 3 times and she is a month and a half old now. They live about 40 miles from me, and I realize they are very busy and have good reason not to come over more often but all of a sudden I feel as if I'm unloved, unneeded, I'm feeling my age, and feel as if my life is pretty much over.I don't mean to sound like a drama queen but I just don't know what to do or think. I feel like digging a hole and crawling into it. It is causing relationship problems with everyone around me , especially my kids. I don't know if there is another med that will help more for dysthymia, but I need help soon . I am feeling hopeless.Reply Follow This Thread Stop Following This Thread Flag this Discussion
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