Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

living in abject SQUALOR

Posted In: Mental conditions 5 Replies
  • Posted By: aquavelvis
  • October 31, 2006
  • 00:18 PM

:confused: We desperately need some insight into this or if nothing else, commiseration and/or advice.

Our 29 yr-old daughter's house is FILTHY! The kind of squalor you see in crackhouses and the like on COPS. She seems to accept/rationalize it for herself and accepts that her three kids (10, 5, and 1) live in it, too. Her bi-polar, alcoholic husband abandoned them all last week.

This house and the ones she's been in since she was married 10 yrs ago have always been dumps...food on the floor, days' worth of dishes in the sink with food stuck to them, roaches everywhere like they're pets, dirty clothes up to your knees, nothing gets thrown away, junk in the yard...nasty.

This is not in keeping with the example of my wife's and my homes she lived in as a child. We're clean, organized, and minimalist. She did OK until puberty, then her room began to be a practice area for the kind of house she's keeping now despite our directions, complaints, and infrequent interventions (cleaning it for her).


...was a precocious child; an only child, her friends in her early years were our adult friends

...is extremely bright, intelligent, and well-read, but flunked out of college in freshman year; it seems going to class was a problem!

...admits she's a world-class underachiever (this started as a child, when her grades started to slip in 3rd grade when she could no longer rely on wit and intelligence to get by, but also had to work a little bit. I was guilty of same thing and have been open with her about that)

...like us, a Christian, but somewhat lazy in practice (again, similar to my own behavior)

...loathes comparison to others

...is broke and does not work (though needs a job now with hubby gone)

...pays lip service to being open to learn and listen but is often extremely defensive to downright hostile to truly well-meant, constructive criticism and questions about her behavior

...is absolutely charming to strangers and friends while frequently a ****h to family (the departed husband, her kids, and us)

...master of passive-aggressive behavior

...despite living in a self-made slum, is a snob who has to have her $5 Starbucks and talk about how everyone else is wrong about everything

...says "fear" drives and has driven many decisions she's made and still makes

...took her 2 years to get around to getting a replacement for a lost driver's license; DMV office is 5 blocks from her house!

...gosh I could continue but feel like I'm already piling on

She has seen her family doctor about all this and is taking meds for ADD, anxiety, depression.

Well, yeah! The cat could have diagnosed all that!

But what might underlie it all?


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5 Replies:

  • The cat did do the diagnosis--Trichomoniasis, a parasite causing schizophrenia-like symptoms, which is found in cat feces and undercooked meats. I had a friend who said her brother was treated for parasites at a Wichita clinic and his schizophrenia turned off like a switch, only to return when his treatement stopped. Go to http://www.sotainstruments.com and get the SILVER PULSER and have her cat drink water with the silver colloid water in it (to be made with steam distilled water only, please). Hire a cleaning tech to bleach da joint to kill parasites, and spray silver colloid water around the place liberally, and wash bedding and all clothes in hot water; and use silver colloid water on any upholstery and carpeting. Only then have your daughter use the SILVER PULSER to clean up her parasite problem with microelectricity; and finally have her drink a wee amount of silver colloid on a regular basis to whack back her load levels. Might want to get her a scrip for Metronidozale. Did she get a cat as a teen? Have antibiotics as teen? Have sexual imposition as teen which can imbalance sensitive souls? Thanks for your grand overview. You must get your daughter to use one or both of these:http://www.fhu.com/ OBSERVATION MEDITATION donate to get tapehttp://www.fhu.com/ REGISTER AND DOWNLOAD; copy instructions in middle of piece; 5 pages or so and 'just do it.' Tap on fear.You have to delink the mental feedback loop from her physical challenges. These physical challenges may also include a kind of parasite, Candida, that results in antibiotic use and infests the gut and can cause psychoses. Google all this, including 'leaky gut' 'cause Candida eats holes in the G.I. tract where mid-brain chemicals are made. Take Caprylic Acid, a cheap antifungal supplement. Candida can make a powerful tissue-eating toxin, Acetaldehyde, which can wreak havoc on the body; neutralize this with Pantethine, the metabolized form of Pantothenic Acid, a B vitamin. Some 'messies' have antibodies to Staph as I recall. Consider getting her off ADHD meds and on to Choline, Cod Liver Oil and digestive enzymes. If she has cold hands and feet and anxiety, consider having her take KETO 7 form of DHEA only as needed; if she feels better in 20 minutes she has Adrenal Collapse. Google for more info or check out forums at http://www.curezone.com/ KEEP ME AND MINE IN PRAYERS PLEASE AND GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS!
    nordskoven 7 Replies
    • November 1, 2006
    • 09:29 AM
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  • She may have attention deficit disorder - ADD or ADHD.I have it, and though I hate disorder, it happens quite frequently. Not just with my home, but with papers, my office, my computer files. My wife helped me identify that there was a problem. There's a lot of junk or dogma about ADD, and it can be quite hard to believe that the situation can exist. I recommend Edward Hallowell's books for a better picture. Well before reading it, I did a critical self-examination of what I thought were my strengths, weaknesses, and how they affected my life and professional pursuits. I was utterly shocked to see the complete match between things I had listed and standard ADD traits. Moreover, there were traits I hadn't listed, but I hadn't realized other people consider them a problem (my wife disagreed with me - they are a problem :)). There was no trait I'd listed that did not occur in the standard ADD diagnosis criteria. Medication and coaching can help. So far, I've been unlucky - the meds can be quite effective for most people, but I'm still not 100% satisfied with how they've worked for me. I can see that some have can have a significant improvement, but just not sufficiently consistent for me. That's my case, and I know my case is rarer.I don't know if this site is legitimate, but I think your post sounds legit.She may not have ADD, and there are other problems that can be similar. Hallowell's books suggest other problems that can be mistaken for ADD and can have the symptoms you describe.Good luck!
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • November 5, 2006
    • 07:21 PM
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  • Oops - I didn't get to the end of your post.Okay, so she is seeing someone about ADD.One suspected cause for ADD is insufficient stimulation from here-and-now activities, the usual mundane compulsory stuff of life. Not stimulation in the sense that you know you're thrilled or eager to do it, but stim in the sense that your brain isn't getting adequate neurotransmitters (usually dopamine, I'm told), and so it's constantly on the go looking for any kind of stimulation. Imagine you can't see well (if you have glasses take them off) - try to read something far away, and do it for an hour. Can you? No at some point you will grow tired of it, and look at things closer. Or look around for something that catches your eye.Another example: try reading a book or newspaper with the radio on static, but set to a very low volume. You might be a little irritated, but then you can ignore it and read the article, especially if it's interesting to you. Turn up the static a little. Still, you can read it, but it's more effort. You may soon bore of this experiment: boom, the problem I have. Eventually, you can turn up the static enough that even if you focus quite hard, your brain will grab the static and make it the center of attention.When I realized this stimulatory cause, I realized how describes so well the problems I've noticed for 15+ years (I'm just over 30 now). I've done very well in school and professionally, but that has come at a great cost in being known for being disorganized, late, sloppy, etc. Creativity and a head-start in life have helped a tremendous amount, otherwise my life would really suck. I'm glad that I finally learned about ADD, even if I never find successful treatment. I can at least realize how my attention goes astray.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • November 5, 2006
    • 07:29 PM
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  • Ok- in response to the 1st post- yes she is on meds/depressed etc; it has nothing to do with religion- she sounds completely fed up- if her husband just dumped her with 3 kids- she is probably overwhelmed- can she take care of them? it sounds like it is too much for her.My father had depression and believe me, the house would have looked the same if I didn't have someone in cleaning every day- after my mother died- he gave up. Sounds like your daughter is in mourning and needs a GOOD therapist (I know- easier said than done) the last thing you can do is tell her to start cleaning up, or bring over bottles of cleanser (lol- my father's sister did that-guess what-he threw it all out) I am only writing this bcs I have lived through it too- don't blame yourselves- she just needs professional help- you can try, but if she is a master of passive-aggressive she will do all she can to make you feel worse. Good luck.sunny
    sunnyhelena 6 Replies
    • November 6, 2006
    • 05:41 PM
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  • For your replies, many thanks to each of you. We've had some time to talk to her, and it really does look like ADD has been a significant culprit, perhaps even the early trigger, ultimately leading to depression and anxiety due to confusion, guilt, and probably more. I can only imagine. My wife is working with her to get her to see a psychiatrist, and she's definitely open to it. If you're the praying type, we'd appreciate your adding her to your next prayer list. If you're not, I'm sure God would accept your good will as prayer of a sort. Again, thanks. It's good to know people are willing to open up and share this kind of thing.
    aquavelvis 1 Replies
    • November 7, 2006
    • 01:21 AM
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