Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

Killing People

Posted In: Mental conditions 15 Replies
  • Posted By: Solidess
  • October 19, 2008
  • 11:55 PM

Hello i am Wrighting this because i dont know were eles to put it please bare with me my spelling isnt the best and nether is my grammer, i really really injoy hurting and killing things i dont know why but i have fantasies about it, i think about it i have even thought about how i would like to kill people and who i would like to kill, i play alot of realistic and violent video games and i get off on the idea of shooting somone to death or stabbing them or just beating them until they die i mean i really really get off on it i laugh i feel relaxed and relifed when i do it i want to do it in real life i want to kill people lots of people my boss at work was being really mean to me and when she had her back turend it pickied up a knife and i just stood there wondering how easy it would be to shut her up how fun it would be how much pleasure it would give me Jeus *****t i sound like a freak anyway i dont slit her throat incase you were wondering the only reason i didnt was because im good freinds with her husband and there were lots of witnesses but it feels like if we were alone i could let go and just finally kill some one. i have OCD and it feels like this is a compulsion i just one to let it go i just want to feel good...

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15 Replies:

  • Sounds like you are obsessed with being obsessed. Maybe you don't know how to interact with people in a "normal" way and so you feel threatened and want to lash out because you know some how something is wrong with the way you view the world and interact with it.If you actually killed someone, very evil things would happen to you. Trust me, people who end up acting on their insanity also submit to slavery of it's cruelest evil.There was a man who killed innocent people in my town and drank their blood. He ended up getting caught, put on death row, and was heavily drugged while he was there for several years. He was also severely mentally, sexually and physically abused in prison for what he did, and eventually his abusers convinced him to kill himself. He did so by overdosing on his medications three days after Christmas.Do you think it will relieve some kind of pressure or pain you have? It won't, and the funny thing is doing anything malicious like this to another or someone's property will only cause you more pain that you can never release. Until you feel like nothing but the embodiment of horror. Perhaps you just want to confirm that you are some how masculine, or capable of power where otherwise you feel powerless. Perhaps you are trying to confirm a sense of evil that you feel.Pray to god.
    wildhare 7 Replies
    • October 20, 2008
    • 01:56 AM
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  • Well Ok Thanks For That But ummm.... i dont think god is going to help me i wasnt wrighting this so you could tell me how sckrewed up i am i was wrighting this so that somebody could give me some advice i want the feelings to go away i need them to if i want somebody to tell me how much of a freak i am i would yell it in th middle of the street or tell my parents, second to that im not insane i want make that clear i see a consluour and they have tested me, oww and how do you know that it wont relieve any problems im having you dont know me you dont know my problems you HAVE NO ****ING IDEA and it piss me off that you think you can can ****ING patronise me Im NOT a sick sadistic freak because if i was i wouldnt be trying to ge ****ING help would I, PEOPLE LIKE YOU NEED THE HELP this place thid website is for advice what kinda of advice is "PRAY TO GOD" WHAT ****ING GOD if you dont have anything usefull or postive to say then please dont comment i feel sick enough as is i dont need you adding to it....
    Solidess 40 Replies
    • October 20, 2008
    • 07:56 AM
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  • Whoa dude, seriously you have issues. Do you use drugs? Because it seems like you are probably some kind of meth user, I have a lot of experience with meth users and they almost always report wanting to do highly erratic and senselessly violent things. They also steal, and they are emotionally psychotic.If you do see a therapist I would schedule an emergency appointment and also set up an appointment with a psychiatrist, I normally do not recommend people try medication, but often times medication is something that is needed as a last resort, and in your case I would say it is an emergency.If you have been diagnosed ADD and take medication for that I would talk to the psychiatrist about your emotional side effects and rage. ADD medication can cause these symptoms.Seriously dude, wildhare never called you a freak or said you were screwed up, those are your words. But I will say you have some serious problems, and you need to get help or you WILL ruin your own life. And as for God, if you cannot believe that God would love and understand you, you are truly lost. Without God you have nothing, because no person place or thing will save you. No therapist, doctor, family member, friend or lover will ever be able to help you. And it is clear that you cannot help yourself. Ask God to help you. But I would predict that you are seriously morally corrupt, and so you could never approach God, knowing the condition of your soul.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • October 20, 2008
    • 03:58 PM
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  • Hello I Will Speak With My Consolour And Hope That He Listins.Im Not A Meth User I Dont Do Drugs At all i havent even tried smoking yet.I Am Aware That Wildhare Didnt Call Me Any Names But i Dont Like being Compared To Sombody How Drinks Peoples Blood For Pleasure, and i reall dont epreciate the idea that i would be raped in prison i dont like rape....As for God if there was a God witch all scientific proof says ther isnt then i am forced to ask the question why would he who is surpose to watch over the world allow millons of people to starve allow wars for oil to begain watch people all of the world being torucherd and murdered allow pedofiles ands rapist to harm and emotionally kill inocent men woman and children. All in All it comes down to two options ethier God Does NOT exist.OR HE DOES NOT GIVE A ****....
    Solidess 40 Replies
    • October 20, 2008
    • 08:56 PM
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  • hello sorry about your obsessive thougths. did you say if you think of killing your loved ones ? it seems the real problem is that you cannot turn the thoughts off. if it makes you feel better i used to have thougts involving the intestines of "my victims". these are called morbid thoughts and did not represent how i wanted my life to be. more like i had created a worse case scenario of what my life could become. i was young then. I have had a lot of therapy. but i never told any doc about that particular morbid thought. too disgusting. seriously, it is not healthy to spend a great deal of time thinking about killing people. you are not a bad person but you are having a bad time of it. i am agnostic.
    emmarene 34 Replies
    • November 1, 2008
    • 09:27 AM
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  • Thnak you for understanding im in therpy and my therpist says she thinks the muderous thoughts might possible be OCD witch sucks but so does life. i cant get ride of the thoughts there every were when i close my eyes i want them to go away.:(
    Solidess 40 Replies
    • November 1, 2008
    • 10:24 PM
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  • i hope your therapist is a good one. has it been suggested to do any specific exercises? a learned a lot of distractions but none worked for more than ten or twenty minutes and like you many of mine were unaccptable so i was cursed with thoughtst i couldn't turn off plus the terror of wondering what kind of a monster i would become. thats before i knew it was ocd. i was finally put on medication and surprised how quick it calmed down. it has never gone away fully but sometimes i only have one or two a day . when it is bad i get busy doing hard work like digging and carrying rocks. easy because i love gardening but everyone will find their own thing. if your therapist gives you exercises or reading to do between visits you must comply. no one can make you feel better, unfortunately. you will have to be vigilant which i know is hard for a young person. you should really think before telling people if you have ocd. i made that mistake. people seem to be sympathetic untill it happens to someone close to them, then they freak and act like drama queens or in some cases try to counter your therapy by telling you your just begging for attention, or being a baby or that the drug makers just try to get rich by convincing you you need drugs. keep in mind people have seen tv shows with people who wash their hands a hundred times a day or constantly touch light switches or doorknobs but obsessive thoughts are invisible and no one can imagine how hard it is so they may not be sympathetic. Im just telling you how it was with me. of course you should talk to you parents if they are supportive. sorry so long and good luck
    emmarene 34 Replies
    • November 5, 2008
    • 08:17 AM
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  • I found a way to supress it, i play lots of violent video games of course when i finish them i have to get a new one which means i lose lots of money plus at the same time as supressing them it makes them stronger, i was on meds as well but i stopped taking them, as you said its probly not a good idea to tell people that i have OCD buts its a really really bad idea to tell people why i stopped taking the meds:(
    Solidess 40 Replies
    • November 5, 2008
    • 08:39 PM
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  • You talk about murderous thoughts and thoughts still there when you close your eyes at night, you fantazise about really bad things. It reminded me of a neighbour I had who was exactly like that and in the end was diagnosed with schizophrenia, he's been put on medication now and so long as he takes it he's fine. Think your problem is more than ocd and think you're intelligent enought to know that and you're reaching out for help - so good for you. Look, you really need help if it is schizophrenia and therapy's not enough - and you know that as well. Get your doctor to refer you to a psychologist for a psychological evaluation, either way it's something to work towards that you could do with - a starting point to a better future. I don't believe in god either but trust me everyone on this blog has said nothing intentional to hurt your feelings they've all been trying to help - and now it's your turn to help yourself go see that doctor and good luck.
    maggiemay 68 Replies
    • November 5, 2008
    • 11:42 PM
    • 0
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  • Okay, Solidess...you are probably not going to like my suggestions, but here goes: 1. Sell your violent vids and video player on Ebay or Craigslist.2. Get books from your library and start reading instead.3. Get yourself some supplements - methylcobalamin B12 (100 mcg), EFA's/Omega 3-6-9 fish and flax oils. A good multivitamin with extra C. Take these EVERY day.4. Research Bach Flower Remedies online and see if any fit your profile.5. Learn to meditate or get some relaxation tapes.6. You may need to be on meds - if you were on them before were your symptoms better? You may need to be on a different med, but you should NEVER just stop taking them!7. Consider finding a good acupuncturist/herbalist who specializes in psychological issues. May really help you manage your symptoms. I won't ask you to pray:rolleyes:...though it couldn't hurt to do some gathas (Buddhist phrases). I like ones by Thich Nhat Hanh. Best wishesDOM
    acuann 3080 Replies
    • November 6, 2008
    • 02:17 AM
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  • Ive Been Tested For Any form of sicotic disorder and that all came back negtive which is great but the only person how actualy thinks its a problem is my therpist who i see weekly and the last time i want to my doctor and told him he laughed at me and said your just being a tennager i wonder if he would of said that if he new i was thinking about caving his skull in on the side of his office desk. NEXTTHere is abosutly no way in ***l that i am going to sell my violent video games they have worked for years and i plan to keep them working.Thanks for your advice DOM but if the root of my problem is Pshycological then there is no way in ***l meditation, realxing tapes and herplistic medicines are gona help me and even so im not retarded hepblistic medicne has been prove to not WORK and need somthing that works a proven frigging method im really trying to get mad here herplistic medice is the oldest con mans trick you find some plants then you tell the world they work then you end up killing a bunch of people.:mad:
    Solidess 40 Replies
    • November 6, 2008
    • 07:25 PM
    • 0
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  • even so im not retarded hepblistic medicne has been prove to not WORK and need somthing that works a proven frigging method im really trying to get mad here herplistic medice is the oldest con mans trick you find some plants then you tell the world they work then you end up killing a bunch of people. Well, what can I say. You're wrong. Traditional Chinese medicine is 5,000 years old. It works. No need to trash it. I didn't think you'd like my suggestions:rolleyes:. No worries. Best wishesDOM
    acuann 3080 Replies
    • November 7, 2008
    • 04:49 AM
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  • Hey =]You need a different doctor. If your current one just laughed at you than he is neither good nor responsible one. You are concerned and that is very good thing because you should be and so should your doctor. Do not get discouraged and make it as clear as possible that this is serious and it bothers you. Good doctor is not going to disregard you as "another teenager, ha ha". Also your therapist should have notified your doctor about these disturbing feelings and compulsions you have because it is possible that it is a serious side effect of your medication. And you do not have to believe in God to get better, just believe in yourself and find a good doctor, don't settle just for somebody! Good luck and good for you for trying to get help (I know it is not easy) ... Don't give up.
    Anonymous 42789 Replies
    • November 9, 2008
    • 05:34 AM
    • 0
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  • hello solidess, i did not mean to say you could surpress your thoughts, merely that you could use something as a distraction. i can see that the games would work. they take a lot of concentration. i am sorry your doctor did not take you seriously. was it a pediatric doc? a psych would be best. some times the therapist can talk to the doc for better results. in the us we have to fill out forms for docs to share info. where are you? when you were on meds did it help? there are a number of meds known to work for obsessive thoughts, if you tried just one are you still open to others? also, i do not know your gender but young people do not always have good diets, especially girls. vitamins probably wouldnt hurt you and might help your general health, but i agree that is not the cause of your ocd. zoloft worked really well for me for a long time. now i take something else and it works also. i know you are out of patience so maybe your therapist can advise you on finding a better doc who does not laugh at mental illness. untill you feel better you will have to ask others for help. have your parents been helping you?emmarene
    emmarene 34 Replies
    • November 11, 2008
    • 02:09 AM
    • 0
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  • Get some psychological counseling immediately. You need help badly. Don't wait. :) They have meds for that too.
    AshleyHH 45 Replies
    • November 20, 2008
    • 04:40 AM
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