I'm not really sure why I'm writing this or who I hope is reading.
I am 26 yrs old and I feel like I'm missing out on my life.
I have been seeing doctors for a few years and have tried a few different medications.Although the meds have helped the sudden mood swings I am still battling severe sadness & hopelessness everyday of my life. Living at home at my age only adds to the depression. I want so much to work & live out my dreams but my constant sadness & severe nervousness keeps me from functioning & socializing like a normal human being. I have worked before but had to quit because I felt so much sadness & anxiety & I stopped sleeping, all I could do was cry all the time. I've been engaged for 5 yrs to a wonderful man & should be happy but all I do is worry or rather obsess about the things that could go wrong. I am exstremely sensitive therefor I become overwhelmed easily which makes going out, even just to a friends house, very difficult, I also become depressed when out anywhere. I am tired of doctors & medication but know I must never stop trying. I very often feel like I do not belong here & cannot continue this forever but I know I could not kill myself. I have concidered disability but I guess my pride has kept me from it, I find the idea somewhat embarressing, but I do need some kind of financial help to give me a start, I thought I would be better by now. I know my family & others think I'm just lazy & don't want to work & that would only further their misunderstanding. I do want to work, there's so many things I want to do & learn.
Is disability wrong for a case like me? I mean I have no physical disabilities, I'm not delusional or anything like that but I cannot function because of my senstivity, depression, constant worry & nervousness. I just need some help getting out on my own & start off working part-time, coax myself into going back to school, & not have to worry so much financially or about doctor bills.
I feel so alienated & alone. Is there anyone else out there who is dealing with similar problems as me?