Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

I'm Worried About My Husband

Posted In: Mental conditions 1 Replies
  • Posted By: sarahbaby
  • January 17, 2010
  • 05:02 PM

*Sorry for the long post*

For the past two weeks, he's been a little off. Not mean or cold but quiet and stressed and his mood's been up and down. He's also been experiencing heart palpitations. He has a history of depression and anxiety disorder. He takes no medication, as of now. He's usually very positive, motivated and happy. He always has a smile on his face.

Yesterday, he had a panic attack and he felt pressure in his chest. He started "freaking out" and yelling. He said, "I don't want to die. Am I going to die?" He was on the verge of tears but then, the next minute, he got mad at me saying it was MY fault and that we weren't meant to be together. After twenty minutes, he was laughing again. :(

I ended up taking him to the hospital because he really thought there was something wrong with him or he was going to die. They put him in the psych area and let him talk to a psychologist. At that point, he was back to his normal self and they let him go home.

Last night, his mom said she and his father DECIDED that I, his wife, was causing his chest pains. She was mad because I told her she couldn't go to the hospital. I told her she couldn't go because my husband clearly stated he did not want her or anyone else but me there, he said she was causing him more stress. He called her later, after leaving the ER, and told her that. She said she didn't want to talk him or be a part of his life. He hung up and started loosing it again. It was pretty much another panic attack, less severe though. He didn't think he was going to die this time, just said he hated his life and everyone around him.

His grandfather's dying in a hospital bed right now, his mom is selfish and controlling, his favorite uncle is dying of untreatable cancer, his father has pretty much "disowned" him and isn't talking to him anymore. My husband is also a salesman, a great one at that, but work is so competitive and stressful for him. All these things in his life....they are not something I can control but they're causing him to act like someone else. He's usually so strong and positive but I think he's reached his breaking point. His depression seems like it's been triggered again. He doesn't seem to have an appetite anymore, and he just becomes quiet and sulks. He's been telling me to stop looking at him since the ER visit because he thinks I'm "observing" him. He's still getting heart palpitations and sometimes he stops what he's doing and holds his chest with his hand and takes a deep breath.

I told him I was worried. He, of course, said he's happy and fine. His eye's been twitching a lot lately too, that happens when he's nervous and stressed.

He said he'll go to a psychiatrist and psychologist, but seeing him this way is just nerve racking for me.

I just don't know what to do. I know him accepting help is good but is there anything I can do to help him? He seems so fragile right now ...



S

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  • I feel for you, friend. I feel your pain, and I know it very well. Your husband isn't "just right" at this time. My husband does this and this is how I have successfully handled it: Leave him alone. He doesn't want my help. That sounds kind of "in your face" and mean, but men are very forthcoming with their needs and he just wants to wants to be left alone. Secondly, find out what is going on outside your home. It isn't you. You are not the problem. I have a Masters Degree in Criminal Justice which accompanies psychology to a very high degree. So with that in mind I am telling you that he is displaying symptoms of anxiety and depression. He is showing mania too which could be from a number of issues. The effects it is having on him physically are from what he's going throug mentally. Your best bet is to strengthen him and it's hard to do because you have to be very up front with him. Words vary from person to person but I reached my frustration level with my husband one night and told him to stop sucking his thumb and "man up". He was very mad at first left for a few hours,but thanks me to this day for being so honest because he said that was exactly what he needed to do. Meanwhile, you need to get a hold of what ever it is that is invading his life and your home. It is something else and in his case I think his dad not speaking to him is a blessing for the moment. He needs to let go of toxic relationships with family and respect his home and marriage by doing so. if they would be so brazen as to say this, they have no respect for you, your husband or your home. Block your door to this and all other outside toxic situations to avoid what you are seeing in him now. If they acted this way as he is an adult, then how did they act before you two were a couple? My husband is a mama's boy to a degree, and she is very over bearing; but only if I allow her to be. There has to be a trigger for his mental issues. What is that trigger? Find it. If you want normalcy in your home, be the private eye and find the problem before you are caught off guard. It is YOUR life too and you have the right to know what is going on in your family, especially where your husband is concerned. Imagine what he would do if the tables were turned. And then after you see what he would do, you do the exact same thing. In other words: Speak his language. That's how you deal with this problem. The physical problems are from the mental stress. They will likely resolve themselves after the mental issues are handled. I feel for you, hope you keep me posted. Stephanie*Sorry for the long post* For the past two weeks, he's been a little off. Not mean or cold but quiet and stressed and his mood's been up and down. He's also been experiencing heart palpitations. He has a history of depression and anxiety disorder. He takes no medication, as of now. He's usually very positive, motivated and happy. He always has a smile on his face. Yesterday, he had a panic attack and he felt pressure in his chest. He started "freaking out" and yelling. He said, "I don't want to die. Am I going to die?" He was on the verge of tears but then, the next minute, he got mad at me saying it was MY fault and that we weren't meant to be together. After twenty minutes, he was laughing again. :( I ended up taking him to the hospital because he really thought there was something wrong with him or he was going to die. They put him in the psych area and let him talk to a psychologist. At that point, he was back to his normal self and they let him go home. Last night, his mom said she and his father DECIDED that I, his wife, was causing his chest pains. She was mad because I told her she couldn't go to the hospital. I told her she couldn't go because my husband clearly stated he did not want her or anyone else but me there, he said she was causing him more stress. He called her later, after leaving the ER, and told her that. She said she didn't want to talk him or be a part of his life. He hung up and started loosing it again. It was pretty much another panic attack, less severe though. He didn't think he was going to die this time, just said he hated his life and everyone around him. His grandfather's dying in a hospital bed right now, his mom is selfish and controlling, his favorite uncle is dying of untreatable cancer, his father has pretty much "disowned" him and isn't talking to him anymore. My husband is also a salesman, a great one at that, but work is so competitive and stressful for him. All these things in his life....they are not something I can control but they're causing him to act like someone else. He's usually so strong and positive but I think he's reached his breaking point. His depression seems like it's been triggered again. He doesn't seem to have an appetite anymore, and he just becomes quiet and sulks. He's been telling me to stop looking at him since the ER visit because he thinks I'm "observing" him. He's still getting heart palpitations and sometimes he stops what he's doing and holds his chest with his hand and takes a deep breath. I told him I was worried. He, of course, said he's happy and fine. His eye's been twitching a lot lately too, that happens when he's nervous and stressed. He said he'll go to a psychiatrist and psychologist, but seeing him this way is just nerve racking for me. I just don't know what to do. I know him accepting help is good but is there anything I can do to help him? He seems so fragile right now ... S
    hi_imstephanie 8 Replies
    • January 18, 2010
    • 01:15 AM
    • 0
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