Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

I am afraid of people

Posted In: Mental conditions 5 Replies
  • Posted By: joaquina
  • May 5, 2009
  • 05:54 PM

Dear friends,

I have suffered of panic attacks and depression and the reason is that my father abused me psicologicaly since I was a child so until now I feel fear if I only listen his to his voice by phone. I am 42 years old and now thanks God and the doctor I have not had a panic attack,(I am not in touch with my father now, because until some months ago he still hurt me, so the doctor told me not to be in touch with him) but I feel anxious and the simple problems of the life are so big for me. The thing is that now I am scare if my brother aks me something or my sister tells me a different point of view of something and if another person talks in a louder voice I feel scare. Also I have noticed that I feel scare of situations that I can not manage of that are difficult. I can not say NO or express my real feelings or thoughts to my family because I feel scare if they tell me the opposite thing. I am so afraid to start having panic attacks again. You can not imagen how horrible they are. Can someone give me some advice, or has someone have pased through the same situation?

Well thank you all, and God bless you.



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5 Replies:

  • I suspect some counseling would really help you, have you tried that? Talk therapy? *Also, this helped me more than anything* If you go to a bookstore ... there are workbooks that teach you cognitive therapy; cognitive therapy is a changing patterns in thinking and feeling, perception. They teach about thought patterns to help one gain proper perspective; they also offer insights and information on how to detach from relationships in a healthy manner (not necessarily ending the relationships, but creating an environment within relationships that is healthy, harmless, and panic-free), how set healthy boundaries and so forth. I actually worked through one and I can't remember the name of it, it was some years ago; it helped me immensely. Because you, yourself, must answer the questions, write in your own personal details/information about particular situations, and write down your thoughts ... it gets very in-depth on an individual level; much like a diary ... it is very private. In short, we all have what are referred to as "automatic thoughts," which it sounds like you are going through. We see something, we experience something, we think about something troubling ... and ... there we are in the midst of panic. Every single human being has these automatic thoughts; there are lessons that can change this initial thought entirely ... and at worst, remove the pain or fears associated with them so the repurcussions are minimal; with more practice, they eventually change. In my case, I went through much trauma as well and suffered from post-traumatic stress, major depression, low self-esteem, and self-rejection ... along with the social phobias you speak of. I did not want to be around people. I had nightmares regularly and woke up sobbing. I always felt fear that someone would see me, as though everything that was on the inside was so bad that others "would know," maybe not specifically know, but "would know something is very wrong." That is what kept me in seclusion, I couldn't go outside ... not even to get the mail ... terrified that a neighbor would "simply be outside and see me." These feelings, thoughts, and behaviors are in complete opposition of who I really am ... now and prior to the traumas. I was always very bubbly, optimistic, giggly, assertive ... "life of the party" type. Not at all during those years though, and I am forever grateful I recovered. I will look up the workbook that helped me overcome these problems and post them ASAP ... give me some time, I'm slow these days. Meanwhile, you are in my prayers; throw some up for me too, if you would, so I can find that workbook. There could be better ones out by now, I don't know; but the one I speak of was awesome and did the trick for me ... moreso than any talk therapy with counselors/psychologists or anti-depression, anti-anxiety medications! Further, I kept it for a long time ... it was my "toolbox" so to speak; whenever I felt something icky creeping up or simply wanted to refresh and reiterate or regain perspective, all I had to do was pick up that workbook. Some years later, I moved and the "perpetrator" had no idea what could have possibly happened to it, coulda swore it was in that box! A shame, because now ... it would really help me with what I'm facing these days! I'm so sorry you are hurting; mine felt unbearable and it sounds like your suffering has been so long term! Please feel free to email me anytime you like: neurotransmiss@yahoo.com .... I've been told I have a knack at the situation-by-situation stuff as it pertains to the day-to-day. I will certainly help you as my health/energy allows. After going through that, I took a lot of interest in psychology and studied, studied, studied; it's quite interesting!!! Meanwhile, as I've been told when obsessing: "Stay out of your head, it's a ghetto up there!" Talk to someone! I volunteer if you want and are comfortable. Bear with me, I'll find it; once you have the name of it, you can look and see if there is anything newer or better since that publication. ((( HUGS )))
    neurotransmissing 145 Replies Flag this Response
  • Okay, I don't find the one I used anywhere; it's quite old. I used it in the early '90's ... and can't remember the name of the Workbook or the Author's name. However, no matter I suppose, the ones below appear to be even better. * This link contains a list to choose from:Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - Recommended Workbookshttp://www.pamguide.com.au/anxiety/ptsd_read.php * This one (two links, same book) appears to be the "one book of the decade, so to speak" so I posted two links for more information about it. It's everywhere, I don't know how many editions there are, but I see 4th and found no more-recent editions (but I didn't look too much, I think you would be best suited for that):The Anxiety & Phobia Workbookhttp://astore.amazon.com/CYBERPSYCH/detail/157224223XThe Anxiety & Phobia Workbookhttp://www.theinstitute.org/anxiety/anxiety_three.shtml This is a website dedicated to recovery with a lot of same/similar materials, some free of charge:http://www.anxietycoach.com/
    neurotransmissing 145 Replies Flag this Response
  • My dear friend neurotransmissing, Thank you so much. You have been an angel for me. Do you know that God has passed through you to me? I feel that I am indebted to you. God bless you for all your kindness and help. Regards, Joaquina
    joaquina 8 Replies Flag this Response
  • You just touched on the one all-important aspect that's helped me most, in the lowest times, when nothing else works ... I go to our Creator, The All-Knowing, The Great Counselor, The Great Physician & Healer. Can't get any better than that, because sometimes we just have to remember one thing, if we have the faith to maintain that ability, and that is: (Thy Will, not mine ... Be Done) (Let Go & Let God) Due to Him ... and His plan: ~ No matter what happens, everything will be okay ~ There are moments I get so far down that it's all I can remember ... my God, my faith, and to just keep repeating that statement in my mind. Prayers are always answered by God in YOUR best interests on His behalf (sometimes yes, sometimes no, sometimes later, sometimes we'll see). It works if you work it. You remain in my thoughts and prayers and are welcome to contact me any time. I assure you, it would not be viewed as an imposition or to be "too much" that you ask. If I am having a "sicker" day, I will simply say so (no games, no runarounds, no questions floating about in your head) ... and you will know (I hope) that it is most certainly NOT any form of rejection or discomfort on my part to message if you like. Please remember that ... any time, you are welcome. (((( HUGE GODPOWEREDHUGS )))) to you, dear friend.
    neurotransmissing 145 Replies Flag this Response
  • Did you read about Social Phobia?
    Anasthasia 22 Replies Flag this Response
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