I am 21 years old and have struggled significantly my entire life. As a child I was a perfectionist, stubborn and a worrier. I kept to myself most of the time, partly because I was too nervous to talk to other people because I was too occupied with what they thought of me or if I would make a mistake. For the first ten years of my life I had few friends and was very shy in most social situations. Once I had a friend, I would smother them and not want them to leave. I was a pushover and let people walk all over me because I was too afraid of them leaving me and not having any friends again. I felt like I was never good enough unless I had perfect grades and pretended to understand everything even if I really didn't. I had anger issues and high anxiety as a child. I would throw temper tantrums over the word "no" or if one of my siblings got something that I wanted. I also liked to be in control. I worried about things that I shouldn't have been worrying about at my age. I would not sleep most nights and would "check" to see if my family members would be sleeping and alive and that a stranger didn't hurt them. I had irritability anger, attention, and concentration problems. It took me much longer to "get" things than other children I knew. I always felt different and always kept things to myself because I was embarassed that I didn't get things right away. I experienced multiple traumas beginning at the age of 13 and shortly after began to drink excessively. I experienced nightmares and innability to sleep due to thoughts that I could not put aside until the next day. Constant worries concerning school money, family, job, things I had to do, what if something happened, what would I do.. ect. It was very difficult for me to sleep without drinking and very difficult to function when I had ADHD symptoms and high anxiety. I was diagnosed with ADHD twice, once when I was 8 and once when I was 15. It was not until age 17 that I began to take meds. I was currently diagnosed with GAD and began to take wellbutrin and buspar for anxiety and sleep and was taken off ADHD meds. My doctor recently suggested that i had PTSD and that it may be the reason I began to drink excessively. I was wondering if any other explanation for my childhood or any insight could help me go on with my life. THANK YOU!Reply Follow This Thread Stop Following This Thread Flag this Discussion
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