Discussions By Condition: Mental conditions

hallucinations

Posted In: Mental conditions 6 Replies
  • Posted By: Anonymous
  • March 17, 2007
  • 09:14 PM

okay. i really think i need help, but i can't find anyone to help me. i have visual hallucinations from when i first wake up until i fall asleep every day. sometimes accompanied by auditory hallucinations. i know my hallucinations aren't real because they always have a different appearance. i see light everywhere. little dots, sometimes so thick i can't see past them. sometimes they make rivers, sometimes people or faces, sometimes horrific things that seem more fitting in a horror movie. i do not watch horror movies. occasionally, they talk to me. not in a mean or sexual way or telling me to go do anything, but still a bit scary. i have been seeing things ever since i was little but chose not to tell anyone. i didn't want to be misunderstood or medicated. i can see now that i need help. i am not on drugs or alcohol of any kind. i have no other sympoms. am i paranoid? if not then what am i?

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6 Replies:

  • When did you start having the hallucinations and how old are you now?
    JustinSP 8 Replies Flag this Response
  • This sounds remarkably similar to what my boyfriend has gone through in the past few years. He has had depression problems since adolescence but at 19 he started getting auditory and visual hallucinations, and many were very scary, similar to what you said, very horror or mafia movie like. He also saw things get wavy, and they can't explain that still. TRUST ME AS SOMEONE THAT HAS WENT THROUGH THIS WITH HIM, it is best to go see a psychiatrist. He waited a long time to tell anyone or do anything about it, and he finally had an emotional breakdown over it. They may be able to handle it with out medicating you. However, he is on Abilify now and it has helped TREMENDOUSLY. He no longer has delusions or hallucinations AT ALL. The medicine have increased his quality of life dramatically, he can lead a much easier life now. You don't have to tell people what is going on, except of course your psychiatrist, so dont' worry about the stigma. Myself, his family, and a few close friends know about his condition, so that he has a support system, but his life has not been AT ALL NEGATIVELY IMPACTED BY THE DIAGNOSIS/TREATMENT. It took a while to get the right meds, but it has been EXTREMELY WORTH IT. I would reccomend you tell someone about this, a close friend, someone you can trust, just because the burden can be too much. If you don't have a close friend to talk to about it, try seeing a theraptist, that has helped him a lot too. They can also teach you coping strategies. One one resource that helped us was www.schizophrenia.com's information and ESPECIALLY it's forums. He doesn't have schizophrenia, and you very well may not either, so dont' think I am trying to diagnosis you, BUT there you can find people to talk to annonomously about the issues and get some information, support, and really see that you aren't alone. It could be one of a lot of things that are causing this, from schizophrenia, to BiPolar Disorder, to a brain abnormality. GO TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR OR A PSYCHIATRIST. It will be a hard ordeal, but in the end after you recieve the right treatment, you will be thankful you did. I can't tell you enought how much better his life has been since he saw someone. And no one thinks he is crazy and no one judges him for taking meds. Don't let your worry about people's ignorance about mental health cause you to not get treatment. Your life will be better if you get help. If you need someone to talk to, I will be happy to talk to you. I may be able to give you some valuabe insight.
    JetSkiChic 12 Replies Flag this Response
  • justin, i am 18 now. i have had these hallucinations ever since i can remember. they don't scare me that much anymore because i have grown up with them, but it scares the sh*t out of the few i confide in. i don't have depression. not all of it is scary, mainly just distracting. it has a very negative impact on my ability to learn and work. also, i cannot sleep without lights on as it gets much worse. as i said, i see lights, so they are more visible without other lighting. i have 20/20 vision, is it still possible for it to be an eye problem? jetski, i appreciate you taking the time for such a long post. do you think you could explain your boyfriend's hallucinations in more depth? i feel wary of going to a psychiatrist because i do not want to be a lab experiment. i have no other symptoms; i do not wish to be labeled, say a schizophrenic, when i have no other symptoms. as i said, i have experienced this since i was very young; i am seeking treatment for the peace of mind of my close friends and because it has become too distracting to ignore.
    lenaboo 4 Replies Flag this Response
  • What was your birth like? Do you have any history of early childhood trauma? Any early childhood injuries/accidents? Any history of high fevers as a child? DOM
    acuann 3080 Replies Flag this Response
  • in third grade i was pushed into an iron pole rather hard. it hit the right side of the back of my head and it left an indentation i still have. about 1 1/2 inches long and 1/2 inch wide. does that side control vision maybe?
    lenaboo 4 Replies Flag this Response
  • The trauma could very well cause the problem, because these types of symptoms can happen as a result of brain abnormalities, such as things caused by head trauma. If you see a psychiatrist, if they are good, they will NOT jump to conclusions and label you. They will have you do extensive blood work ups and MRIs to make sure there is no non-chemical reason for these hallucinations. If that is your only symptom, it could be something like that. However, my boyfriend has recieved about 15 concussions in his life (due to the fact that he was a rowdy child, and it wasn't til 3rd grade anyone realized he was half blind :-P) and his MRIs were clean. So don't ASSUME that is what it is. Honestly, you won't know until you see a psychiatrist. As far as the long post goes, it's no problem. I know how hard it is to go through what you are going through, I saw him go through it and helped him and it was one of the most difficult experiences of my life, BUT in the end it has been TOTALLY WORTH IT, because he is SO MUCH BETTER NOW.Ok, his story.....Like I said he had depression problems since middle school, but no one really took notice. However, with his family history of mental illness SOMEONE should have. Do you have any family history of ANYTHING in the mental illness arena? On either side? You are more likely to get mental illness if it runs in your family. When he left home for college is when things got bad. At first, he was on top of the world (this could have been his first manic stage, not sure). Then, things took a turn for the worse. He got incredibly depressed and was desperate to come home. He began having hallucinations and delusions. Here would be a good time to specify the difference in case you don't know. Hallucinations can be visual or auditory, these are things like the lights you see. Delusions are false beliefs that often go hand in hand with the hallucinations. He had all three, which is a little rare. He would hear voices, saying things like "hello? hello!", nothing threatening. However, he had a variety of visual hallucinations. Things would get wavy all of a sudden, like his whole visual field would go wavy. He would see people that weren't there sometimes. The most disturbing were the ones where he would see people being hurt. For example, we would be in a resteraunt and he would see the person at another table get shot. It is important here to say he is NOT AN AGGRESSIVE PERSON. I think the reason he had these types of hallucinations is because he has always been into with comic books, military stuff, WWII, action/mafia movies and video games (including the violent ones). That was just a culture he was around, so it makes sense that's what he saw. His hallucinations and delusions are classified as paranoid. And he was VERY paranoid. Paranoid about telling people, about getting help, but mostly this had to do with his delusion. He had a delusion that he had gotten into a fight and beat some guy up bad. He had a delusion that he was a drug addict and that he started collecting the dealers debts to pay the fines and hurt people in the process. He had a delusion someone was out to get him. Now, NONE OF THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED. But he saw people and things that made him THINK they did. And he believed it just as much as I believe that I am typign right now. It was not a matter of whether it happened in his mind, because he was sure it did. This is the scariest part of these things I think, because you can't always trust your reality. That has been really hard for him. AS A RESULT, still now from time to time, if he hears or sees something wierd he will check with me to make sure it is happening, and it really is now. He just still second guesses his reality sometimes.Now, HOW HE GOT HELP!He had an emotional breakdown. The delusions were climaxing, he went from extreme mania where he rarely slept and was on top of the world, to deep depression. He finally admitted he needed help and that something was wrong. This is where I think you are, and that's good! After that, he moved home for the extra support (and because he couldn't really hold down work effectively anymore) and he started seeing a doctor. It was this time he also started having some catatonia, where he would just blank out and stare at a wall and drool for hours. This happened once or twice. When he started seeing the psychiatrist, he got blood test and MRIs. Nothing showed up, so they new it was chemical. There are other bodily diseases that can cause these symptoms, that is why it is so important to get help! They started him on meds, and after a few dosage and brand adjustments, he started doing a lot better. It's still hard sometimes. They are still trying to diagnose him, after 2 years. Right now they say it is Psychosis NOS (Not Otherwise Specified). HOWEVER, HE HAS NEVER BEEN A LAB EXPERIEMENT. A doctor cannot just pump you full of drugs and do trials on you. They need your consent to do any trials or anything. The drugs they give you are just like what a regular doctor will give you: FDA APPROVED. You will not be a lab experiment. My boyfriend has also never been hospitalized either, so don't go thinking you definitely will be. From what I know, they usually only do that if they have real reason to believe you will hurt yourself or others, or if you are completely incapable of functioning in society, which from what you said, doesn't seem like the case.What your doc appts would probably be like: You will possibly have to wait a bit to get in to see a psychiatrist, I know here there are not enough to meet the demand for them. He had to wait like 6 weeks. When you get in you will have to tell them EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING, no matter how insignificant you think it is. Especially what you see, your symptoms, your head trauma, etc. They will have you do tests. They will ask you a lot of questions. It will take a while for them to diagnose you, it's not a task they rush through because once they diagnose you it can be hard to UNdiagnose you if you they are wrong, esp b/c it could be traumatic for you. Like I said, my boyfriend hasn't gotten a specific diagnosis in two years, BUT HE HAS GOTTEN TREATMENT AND GOTTEN BETTER. His doctor started him on meds a little while into their visits, and it takes a while to do adjustments to get them right. This can be a hard time, because these meds do have side effects, and if they dose is too high, you can have extra side effects, while if it's too low nothing happens. After a few months they had reached a good balance and he moved out and started his life over. There have been some hiccups along the way, such as when he STOPPED taking his meds, that was bad. These types of meds take weeks to get into your system all the way, so missing them is bad, and you can't expect instant results. The delusions were a little harder to break, it took talk therapy with me (someone he confided in) and a professional therapist.But TREATEMENT IS THE BEST OPTION. If he hadn't recieved treatment I think he would have had a major nervous breakdown and ended up in the hospital. By getting treatment before everything became too overwhelming, he passed that up. As a result of two little pills he takes daily, he acn focus again, is a better worker, is able to be a good boyfriend, can live without seeing things that aren't there, with out hearing things that aren't there, and with out believeing untrue things. He is going to be able to finish college now. His quality of life has increased by 400%. If you get help, you will not be a lab experiment. They may try different meds, but it is to try to make you BETTER, not to do some experiment. There is a balance of meds that's side effects are MUCH LESS WORSE than your symptoms. His make him sleepy, so he takes them at night. That's the main side effect. To be honest, you need to realize that you might not TRULY REALIZE the scope of the problem or HOW MUCH it's effecting your life. I know seeing a mental health professional is SCARY. BUT IT WILL HELP YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE. The key is just to find a GOOD doctor that you can trust. And they will work to build trust with you. My boyfriend has always been really untrusting of these people, but the doctor he has now he really likes and trusts, same with his therapist. I just cannot stress to you enough how important it is to get HELP. THIS IS NOT ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOOS NEST ANYMORE. Advances have been made. They aren't goign to give you wierd experimental therapies anymore. It has become a REAL MEDICAL PRACTICE, not an experiment. The medicines help a lot for most people. And chances are, you won't have to go to the hospital. HOWEVER, IF IT GETS BAD, GO. Don't let yourself get to a point where you want to hurt yourself or others because you can't handle this anymore. Everyone gets different results from different meds, but I bet one of the meds out there WILL HELP. While us talking can SUPPORT YOU, we can't cure you or really HELP it go away. It's not somethign that gets a quick fix. It needs medical attention. Just go see a psychiarist, you will be glad you did in a few months when you have made progress.
    JetSkiChic 12 Replies Flag this Response
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